George: Did you know Sheldon and Georgie are working on something together?
Mary: That's nice. And guess what Missy asked me if she could wear a cross. She's in her bedroom saying prayers right now.
George: Hmm. I don't like it.
Mary: What are you talking about? Our kids are behaving.
George: Exactly. Something bad's gonna happen.
Mary: Why can't you just be thankful?
George: Because that's when life kicks you right in the plums, Mary.

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: Should I be wearing all that?
Sheldon: I recommend it. Those rocks are filthy.
Georgie: I'm good. God made dirt. Dirt don't hurt.

Georgie: Tell me, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It occurred to me that a good way to generate a positive cash flow would be to curate popular songs and make them available in a digital form. Possibly on a small device that could also be used as a phone or even a camera.
Georgie: Right. [mocking] A phone, camera, music machine. Get out of here.

Sheldon: Are you still interested in getting rich quick?
Georgie: No, I want to do it slow like a chump.
Sheldon: Oh. Never mind.