Meemaw: All right, Moon Pie. I'll see you after class.
Sheldon: Aren't you going to walk me in?
Meemaw: I think you can manage it.
Sheldon: Is it because you're trying to avoid Dr. Sturgis?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Is it because you're getting old, and you're trying to limit the number of steps you take?
Meemaw: Get in there.

Mary: Hey, Shelly, I got something for you.
Sheldon: What is it?
Mary: An invitation to Billy Sparks's birthday on Saturday. Isn't that nice?
Missy: Sheldon's gonna go?
Sheldon: A child's birthday party? No, thank you.
Missy: Great.

Mary: You're going to Billy's party.
Sheldon: But I don't want to.
Missy: And I don't want him to.
Mary: Too bad, he's going.
Missy: Then I don't want to go.
Mary: Everyone's going and everyone's gonna have fun.
Sheldon: This is so unfair.
Missy: It is. You should run away from home.

Missy: What'd I get him?
Mary: Connect Four.
Missy: That was thoughtful of me.

Missy: Do I have to wait for Sheldon? Can't I just go now?
Mary: No, we're going together as a family.
Sheldon: Greetings, Mother. I'm ready to beam down to the party.
Mary: You go on ahead.
Missy: Oh, thank you, Jesus.

[Sheldon walks down the hallway, walks into his bedroom, stands beside his bed, and meekly punches his mattress]
Missy: That was the lamest tantrum I've ever seen.

Paige: Ooh.
Missy: What's that?
Paige: Body glitter.
Missy: That's so much better than regular glitter.

Mary: How was practice?
Missy: Great. I hit the ball further than anyone.
Mary: Sounds like a little prayer helped after all.
Missy: I guess it did.
Mary: You seem surprised.
Missy: Well, God knows everything, and I have some pretty evil thoughts.
Mary: Oh, Missy.
Missy: Ooh, what if I start wearing a cross so God knows I mean business?
Mary: You could also clean up your thinking.
Missy: Nah.

Sheldon: I'm not going to ask some magical being to solve my problems.
Missy: I asked him to help me with my batting, and he did.
Sheldon: There's a pottery kiln in art class. We can use that. [o.s.] Georgie, I figured it out!
Missy: [to the heavens] Good job, but that does not count as one of my wishes.

Missy: Are you mad at me?
Mary: No.
Missy: You sure? 'Cause that's how you look when Dad had that breakfast beer.

George Sr.: If you want to see Stephen Hawking, we have to sit down right now.
Sheldon: It's too dangerous. I can't!
George Sr.: It's okay to be scared. Th- That's when you got to dig deep and be brave. So, what do you say?
Sheldon: No, I'm your terrified little boy!

Mary: Sheldon, lots of people get their teeth pulled. It's not a big deal.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Stop enjoying this.
Missy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, you're not.
Missy: No, I'm not.

Missy: You know this is your fault.
Sheldon: You're the one who read the letter.
Missy: You went in her nightstand.
Sheldon: I was only looking for a flashlight. It's not my fault Mom was hiding things there.
Missy: They're fighting 'cause you're a freak. That's your fault. You know I'm right.

Missy: I'm glad Mom didn't come.
George Sr.: Why's that?
Missy: I can spit when I'm on the mound.
George Sr.: You can hock up anything you want today.
Missy: [snorts]
George Sr.: Not here.
Missy: Aw.

Mary: Can we please just eat?
George Jr.: Chicken's good.
George Sr.: Mrs. Sparks made it.
Missy: Huh?

Sheldon: Why did your mom make you?
Paige: Punishment. I got caught with cigarettes.
Sheldon: Why would you want to smoke?
Paige: To look older.
Sheldon: My meemaw smokes. I guess it works.

Missy: What's up?
Coach Wilkins: Watching the game with your dad.
Missy: Where is he?
Coach Wilkins: Getting yelled at by your mom.
Missy: Cool. [sits down]

Missy: What do you think?
Meemaw: I think you're gonna be a little heartbreaker.
Missy: I don't want to break anyone's heart. I just want to look hot.
Meemaw: Well, that you do.
Missy: Thank you.

Mary: Sheldon, good news. Dr. Linkletter was calling to say that while you're at school, if you need anything, you can go to him.
Missy: Starting college and you need a babysitter. That's funny.
Sheldon: I don't need a babysitter.
Mary: Dr. Linkletter is just around in case there's a problem.
George Jr.: Like if he needs a new diaper?
Missy: Ha!
George Sr.: Enough.
Mary: Can we please have a nice dinner?
Missy: We could. But you're the one who wants to eat as a family.
George Sr.: [to Mary] Don't pray for any of 'em.

Missy: Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Missy: I don't know.
Sheldon: I don't.
Missy: You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her.
Sheldon: I don't have a crush on her!
Missy: Are you sure?
Sheldon: I don't know!