George Sr.: Y-Your mom's at church. W-What do you want for dinner?
Sheldon: I believe you know what I want for dinner.
George Sr.: Is that right?
Sheldon: It's Thursday. What does Mom always make me on Thursdays?
George Sr.: Spaghetti and hot dogs?
Sheldon: [to the camera] Socrates. Got to love him.

Mary: And then he said, "For the rest of the day, you're in charge."
George Sr.: Mm.
Mary: Those were his exact words. Can you believe it? "You're in charge."
George Sr.: Well, that's great.
Mary: And thanks to me, this year United Methodist is gonna get stuck with all the limp palms.
George Sr.: Well, I don't know what that means, but good for you.

Mary: Sheldon, I didn't change anything. Can I get back to work now?
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Mary: Thank you. Bye.
Sheldon: Don't I get an "I love you"?
Mary: I love you.
Sheldon: One more time, with a little more energy. [dial tone] Must've been disconnected.

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: What does it look like?
Missy: Like you're looking for another excuse for kids to pick on you.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Missy: I was gonna watch DuckTales, but this looks funnier.

Adult Sheldon: Another hurdle in my political career was glossophobia: fear of public speaking.
I've been known to experience dry mouth, perspiration, heart palpitations, and fainting. A similar response to what I experience around unleashed dogs.

Missy: Dang, this place is nice.
Meemaw: That's because it was supposed to be a date.
Missy: Cool. My first date.

Sheldon: Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize winners are going to be announced in Sweden, and we'll hear it as it's happening.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, 2.8 milliseconds later.
Sheldon: Sure, because of the propagation.

Mary: Hi, Pastor Jeff. Everything okay?
Pastor Jeff: I'm in trouble. Robin just got here. She looks nice, and she smells even nicer.
Mary: Come on, now. Uh, nothing smells better than eternal salvation.

Mary: Okay, so how do we read it?
Missy: I'd say ask Sheldon, but he left after I clearly said not to.

Sheldon: It occurred to me that Maxwell's equations would achieve full symmetry by adding a magnetic monopole.
Missy: I drew a ladybug.

George Sr.: All right, since you're right-handed, which I now know, you're gonna bring your arm up and follow through like this.
Missy: Okay.
George Sr.: Nice. You might be a natural.
Missy: I'm not surprised. This is the arm I color with.

Sheldon: I wasn't even aware I was chewing them.
Mary: Baby, I think this math problem you're working on is stressing you out.
Sheldon: It makes sense. Einstein struggled with it for 30 years and never found a solution.
Mary: Maybe if you stop thinking about it, it'll just come to you.
Sheldon: No. I can't stop.
Mary: Sheldon.
Sheldon: If I stop, I'll lose momentum. I'll never solve it. I'll be a failure. My life will be worthless.
Mary: Okay, that's it. You're taking a break from science.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why I would do that.
Mary: Where is Dr. Sturgis right now?
Sheldon: That's a good reason.

Missy: Which team has a big red "T" on their hat?
George Sr.: Texas Rangers.
Missy: Is that a team we like?
George Sr.: Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's who most people around here root for.
Missy: Okay. And what's something I could say about the Rangers? You know, to sound cool.
George Sr.: Is this about a boy?
Missy: No!
George Sr.: All right, sorry. If you want, you could say, "Even though Nolan Ryan is old, the Rangers were still smart to get him."
Missy: That's a real thing?
George Sr.: That's a real thing.
Missy: How old is Nolan Ryan?
George Sr.: My age.
Missy: Ew.

Missy: Is there anything else good I could say about the Rangers?
George Sr.: Uh, let's see. Tell whoever's interested that no one's ever gonna touch Nolan Ryan's strikeout record.
Missy: 'cause he strikes out all the time.
George Sr.: No. Because he throws strikeouts all the time.
Missy: Oh. Big difference.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, here's a pineapple. It's a symbol of hospitality dating back to the 1700s.
Mary: Thank you. How tropical.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis, hello!
Dr. John Sturgis: Hi!
Sheldon: Ooh. Did you know the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality?
Mary: As a matter of fact, I did.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're welcome!

Dr. John Sturgis: But we haven't cut open the pineapple yet.
Mary: You boys go ahead. We'll eat the pineapple another time.
Sheldon: But we haven't had a chance to talk about science.
George Sr.: Ooh, can Sheldon come?
Sheldon: Can I?
Mary: No.
Sheldon & John: Aw.

Mary: Hey, do you want to help me paint these posters?
Sheldon: Not at all. [exits]
Mary: Oh, yeah, people would line up for that dunk tank.

Mary: I'm starting to worry about you.
Meemaw: I just had a little too much to drink. So what?
Mary: If you're upset about Dr. Sturgis, that's okay.
Meemaw: I'm not upset. I don't care.
Mary: So you don't care that I saw him last night?
Meemaw: No. I hope he's great.
Mary: Okay.
Meemaw: Is he great?
Mary: He seemed okay.
Meemaw: Tell it to somebody who cares.

Meemaw: All right, Moon Pie. I'll see you after class.
Sheldon: Aren't you going to walk me in?
Meemaw: I think you can manage it.
Sheldon: Is it because you're trying to avoid Dr. Sturgis?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Is it because you're getting old, and you're trying to limit the number of steps you take?
Meemaw: Get in there.