Missy: Which team has a big red "T" on their hat?
George Sr.: Texas Rangers.
Missy: Is that a team we like?
George Sr.: Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's who most people around here root for.
Missy: Okay. And what's something I could say about the Rangers? You know, to sound cool.
George Sr.: Is this about a boy?
Missy: No!
George Sr.: All right, sorry. If you want, you could say, "Even though Nolan Ryan is old, the Rangers were still smart to get him."
Missy: That's a real thing?
George Sr.: That's a real thing.
Missy: How old is Nolan Ryan?
George Sr.: My age.
Missy: Ew.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

[Sheldon sits on the top of the couch with his feet on the cushion]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm practicing the philosophy of cynicism... The ancient Greek view that the rules of society should be ignored.
Missy: If you're gonna break rules, you can do better than that.
Sheldon: How?
[Missy pushes Sheldon off the couch]

Adult Sheldon: Having found no answers, I took it upon myself to rectify the inconsistent timeline in Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien had a brilliant mind, but let's be honest. He was no S.L. Cooper.

Mary: Baby, you need to eat something.
Sheldon: But it looks like I can change the definitions of electric and magnetic fields and rotate the magnetic charge away mathematically to zero.
Mary: Maybe some fried okra would help.
Sheldon: Richard Feynman didn't develop quantum electrodynamics by filling up on fried okra.
Mary: Well, maybe that's because his mama didn't love him as much as I love you.
Adult Sheldon: Richard Feynman was Jewish. His mother didn't give him fried okra.

Meemaw: So, what's new?
Mary: I'm worried about Sheldon.
Meemaw: I said "new."