George Sr.: Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home?
Mary: He hasn't come out of Georgie's room.
George Sr.: Maybe he found Georgie's magazines.
Mary: He's a man of God.
George Sr.: You're adorable.

George Sr.: At least he's not crying anymore.

George Sr.: So, uh, who do you think the Oilers are gonna take in the draft?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I don't really follow sports.
George Sr.: I'm just gonna eat.

George Jr.: Honestly, I do not understand the female mind.
Mary: Do something.
George Sr.: Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV?
Pastor Jeff: No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble navigating the perilous waters of a relationship. Believe me, I can understand.
George Jr.: You having problems with your hot wife?
George Sr.: Maybe I'll go eat by the TV.

George Sr.: You mind putting down my kid?
Clint Watson: We were just playing around.
Veronica: This is my mom's boyfriend, Clint.
George Sr.: Hello, Clint. What can we do for you?
Clint Watson: I'm here to pick up Veronica. Come on.
George Sr.: You want to go with this man?
Veronica: No, sir.
George Sr.: You heard her. Thanks for stopping by.
Clint Watson: You really want to mess with me?
George Sr.: Sure. Why not?
[THUDDING OUTSIDE]
Mary: What's going on out there?
George Sr.: You might want to call the police.
Mary: Why?
George Sr.: There's a bum sleeping on our front porch.

[As Georgie vacuums his bedroom]
George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Documenting. This may never happen again.

Mary: You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
George Sr.: The one that Georgie likes?
Mary: Yeah. I was thinking about having her stay here for a couple days.
George Sr.: Is it Georgie's birthday or something?
Mary: No!

George Sr.: Everything okay?
Sheldon: No. I have to give a speech in front of the entire assembly.
George Sr.: Oh. Got a little stage fright?
Sheldon: Unfortunately so. Just thinking about it causes my bladder to misbehave.
George Sr.: Yeah, I been there.
Sheldon: You have?
George Sr.: Sure. When I first started coaching, I was real nervous to talk to the team, you know, give a locker room speech. Then, one day it dawned on me, I'm not just talking to football players, I'm talking to teenage football players. Most of them aren't listening to a word I'm saying.
Sheldon: That's an interesting perspective.
George Sr.: I'll tell you something else. You don't give yourself enough credit for how brave you are.
Sheldon: I don't?
George Sr.: No. Sheldon, you are ten years old, going to high school. Everyone's older than you, everyone's bigger than you, but you keep at it, day after day. That's brave. Any kid who can do that could give a speech to the United Nations if he had to.
Sheldon: Thanks, Dad.

Mary: I heard what you said in there. That was very beautiful.
George Sr.: Thanks. I gave a similar speech to my team last week. Boy, did we get our asses kicked.

George Sr.: And then there was some extra money in the budget, so I was able to order those tackling dummies I had my eye on.
Sheldon: I don't understand why the football program gets so much money, while the equipment in the science lab is outdated and falling apart.
George Sr.: Oh, I can explain that. This is Texas. Pass the ribs.

Mary: George, isn't there a way they can take some of the football money and spend it on science?
George Sr.: Really? I need to explain it again?

Sheldon: Ooh! Maybe I can lodge a formal complaint with the school board about the sports budget infringing on the other departments.
George Sr.: Okay, last time: Canada, the other states, us.

George Sr.: Hey. He okay?
Mary: Yeah, he's fine.
George Sr.: How you doing?
Mary: Much better.
George Sr.: You know, I just been sitting here thinking how I drove an hour both ways to bring the two of them back. Pretty damn decent of me.
Mary: Come here. [Mary and George start kissing]

George Sr.: I understand all that.
Mary: Then why are you pushing so hard for this?
George Sr.: Because these schools are interested now. It's like football recruitment. You got to strike while the iron's hot.
Mary: This is nothing like football.
George Sr.: Oh, yeah? What if he stops being smart and they don't want him anymore?
Mary: How is that gonna happen?
George Sr.: I don't know. Conks his head?

George Sr.: Uh-huh. Okay. I'll be right there.
Coach Wilkins: What's up?
George Sr.: Principal wants to talk to me.
Coach Wilkins: Ooh.
George Sr.: Grow up.

Sheldon: Hello!
George Sr.: Oh.
George Sr.: What are you doing here?
Sheldon: I got called to the principal's office.
George Sr.: So did I. What, you do something wrong?
Sheldon: Not that I'm aware of. Did you?
George Sr.: I hope not.
Sheldon: Maybe it's good news.
George Sr.: Sheldon, you ever been called to the principal's office for good news?
Sheldon: Never.

Principal Petersen: Gentlemen, good news.
George Sr.: I had a feeling.

George Sr.: What's going on? You all right?
Mary: I'm not feeling great.
George Sr.: Is it a pregnant thing? 'Cause I got some good news on that. I got a decent raise.
Mary: It doesn't matter.
George Sr.: What do you mean it doesn't matter? We can pull this off now.
Mary: I lost the baby.
George Sr.: Oh.
Mary: You're probably relieved, huh?
George Sr.: Actually no. I love the first three. Fourth one's a charm, right?

Principal Petersen: All right, George, what's so damn important?
George Sr.: Well I don't want to get into the why's and wherefore's, but I'm gonna need a raise.
Principal Petersen: Is this 'cause Mary's pregnant?
George Sr.: You got to be kidding me. Does everybody in this damn town know my business?
Principal Petersen: I just it was taking a guess.
George Sr.: Tom.
Principal Petersen: My wife told me.
George Sr.: Doesn't matter. What do you say?
Principal Petersen: Are you threatening to quit if you don't get it?
George Sr.: No, Tom, I'm threatening to rob a bank.
Principal Petersen: Okay. All right, well, let's not do that. $100 a week do the trick?
George Sr.: Yes. Thanks. Bye.

George Sr.: What the hell is that?
Mary: Sheldon's learning to play the violin.
George Sr.: Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.