George Sr.: Everything okay?
Sheldon: No. I have to give a speech in front of the entire assembly.
George Sr.: Oh. Got a little stage fright?
Sheldon: Unfortunately so. Just thinking about it causes my bladder to misbehave.
George Sr.: Yeah, I been there.
Sheldon: You have?
George Sr.: Sure. When I first started coaching, I was real nervous to talk to the team, you know, give a locker room speech. Then, one day it dawned on me, I'm not just talking to football players, I'm talking to teenage football players. Most of them aren't listening to a word I'm saying.
Sheldon: That's an interesting perspective.
George Sr.: I'll tell you something else. You don't give yourself enough credit for how brave you are.
Sheldon: I don't?
George Sr.: No. Sheldon, you are ten years old, going to high school. Everyone's older than you, everyone's bigger than you, but you keep at it, day after day. That's brave. Any kid who can do that could give a speech to the United Nations if he had to.
Sheldon: Thanks, Dad.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Sheldon: Mr. Givens, I just wanted you to know that I'm still working hard on my campaign to get more funding for the science department.
Mr. Givens: Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself.

Adult Sheldon: Not all science is created equal. There's physics, the undisputed king of science.
There's chemistry. It's no physics, but it's not a bad way to pass a rainy afternoon. And then there's biology, the squishiest of the sciences.

Principal Petersen: [screams]
Sheldon: [screams]
Principal Petersen: What are you doing, standing there?
Sheldon: I wrote a formal complaint letter to the school board on how much money is spent on football. I was hoping you could deliver it to them.
Principal Petersen: You do realize your father's a coach here.
Sheldon: Yes, sir, I do.
Principal Petersen: Maybe you ought to talk to him about this first.
Sheldon: I did. He didn't care for the idea at all.
Principal Petersen: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: There I go what?
Principal Petersen: Let me see that. "Barbaric sport encourages bloodlust similar to Roman gladiator games Christians, lions money better spent on science and learning." You're joking, right?
Sheldon: Did you see the word "bazinga" anywhere in that letter?
Principal Petersen: Out.