President Hagemeyer: We have other cards to play. Uh... we're near his family, and he loves you two... God knows why... and most importantly, he hates change.
Dr. Linkletter: I changed deodorants once. He made me change it back. Apparently, I smelled too outdoorsy.
President Hagemeyer: All right, look, we-we've been catering to Sheldon and his family for years, so let's take advantage of what we know and use it to keep him at East Texas Tech.
Dr. John Sturgis: His mother is very religious. Someone might mention Caltech was founded by a Satanist.
President Hagemeyer: Good, good. Wait-wait, is that true? Actually, I don't care. We're using it.
Dr. Linkletter: It is true.
President Hagemeyer: And again, I don't care. So, what else we got?

Sheldon: I need telescope time to search for exoplanets, and Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis have denied my request.
President Hagemeyer: Why?
Sheldon: They said that kind of research would expose both me and the university to criticism.
President Hagemeyer: [stifled laugh] Well, that's outrageous.
Sheldon: So, you'll give me access?
President Hagemeyer: Gosh, no. I want to, but... I'm just the president. [chuckles] Use of the telescope has to be approved by a... science advisor.
Sheldon: Is that true?
President Hagemeyer: Does it sound true?
Sheldon: I suppose it does.
President Hagemeyer: Then I suppose it is.
Sheldon: Why did I even come to you?
President Hagemeyer: [gasps] Remember that next time.

Sheldon: President Hagemeyer, we have a problem.
President Hagemeyer: What now, Sheldon? The Yoo-hoos in the vending machine aren't cold enough?
Sheldon: Actually, they aren't, but we'll table that for later.

Dr. Linkletter: I cannot work with that creepy little know-it-all one more day.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, but are we talking about Sheldon or Sturgis?
Dr. Linkletter: Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: He's not interested in anyone else's input.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter?
Dr. John Sturgis: Linkletter.
President Hagemeyer: Ah, got it. Continue.

Audrey: I just think you may want to try speaking more properly in front of your daughter.
Georgie: Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. Lotta people talk like me.
Audrey: True, but maybe CeeCee will have better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken.
Georgie: She don't even talk yet.
Audrey: No, she doesn't. [sighs] But she's listening and she's learning, and we don't want her first word to be "dang it."
Georgie: Better that than whatever the snooty version of "dang it" is.
Audrey: It's "darn it."
Georgie: Dang it, I knew that.

Mandy: Yeah, you don't need a book. Let's just start simple. Um, instead of "ain't," try "isn't."
Georgie: That isn't gonna be a problem.
Mandy: There you go. Now, let's work on "wasn't."
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: Wasn't.
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: See, I'm not hearing the "S."
Georgie: That's 'cause it wadn't there.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.