Dr. Linkletter: Son, I know you have a lot of options for grad school, and I'm sure you'll make the right choice for yourself and your sweet, aging grandma.
Dr. John Sturgis: Who will miss you so much if you leave.
Dr. Linkletter: Moon Pie... isn't that what she calls you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sweet.
Dr. Linkletter: So sweet.

George: So, we've narrowed it down to five schools. We got Caltech and Stanford in California.
Meemaw: The left coast.
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: It is.
George: Can I continue?
Meemaw: Also known as the land of fruits and nuts. Continue.
George: And on the East Coast, we got MIT, Harvard and Princeton.
Meemaw: Damn Yankees.
George: We can't move the schools, Connie.

Mary: If you're worried about being far away, they're all offering to pay for travel expenses so you can come home for the holidays.
Missy: But to be clear, you don't have to.
Mary: And we can also come and visit you.
Meemaw: Ooh, free trip. I like that.
George: You were just complaining about these places.
Meemaw: I can complain on a beach.

Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, you can't stay here.
Sheldon: Why?
Dr. Linkletter: You've outgrown us.
Dr. John Sturgis: Me, literally.
Dr. Linkletter: You deserve the best education possible.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're going to do great things, Sheldon. And we're proud to have been a small part of your journey.
Sheldon: So, where should I go?
Dr. John Sturgis: Caltech.
Dr. Linkletter: MIT.

Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know what to tell you, Linda. We begged him to stay.
Dr. Linkletter: I got down on my knees, and, well, John was already there.
Dr. John Sturgis: We did everything we could to keep him.
President Hagemeyer: I wore a cowboy hat and offered a scholarship to a baby.
Dr. Linkletter: Ooh. You win.
President Hagemeyer: Damn straight.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'd like to propose a toast. To our complete and utter lack of integrity.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Hear, hear.
President Hagemeyer: Hear, hear.

Mary: Oh, Shelly, you got a package from your little friend.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis sent me something? He's so cute.
Mary: No, your tutor friend from Germany.
Sheldon: Mei-Tung was not my tutor, she just assisted me in learning things I didn't understand yet.
Mary: What'd you get?
Sheldon: It's the latest issue of the International Physics Review. "Sheldon, check out page 58. "I never thought I'd be published in such a prestigious journal."
Mary: Wow, good for her.
Sheldon: Good for her? What kind of monster sends mail across multiple time zones just to rub their success in my face? Indulging the ramblings of a child. My respect for this esteemed journal is plummeting.

Sheldon: Oh, my.
Mary: What is it?
Sheldon: It's the paper I wrote with Mei-Tung. I'm the coauthor of an article in a highly esteemed physics journal.
Mary: Well, that's neat, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Neat is a robot that doesn't look like a truck that turns into a truck. This treatise revolutionizes the theory of manifolds.
Mary: What word would you like me to use?
Sheldon: How about... transformative?
Mary: Sheldon, that's transformative.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Meemaw: An "A"? That's nice, sweetie.
Missy: It's Medford from the year I was born.
Sheldon: Aren't we going a little overboard with this "A" thing?
George: Hey, some of us never got an "A."
Mary: Really? Not even one?
Meemaw: If only they graded lunch.
George: I'll have you know, I love my body. [Meemaw chuckles]

Sheldon: You know how a Möbius strip generalized to the third dimension is a Klein bottle?
Missy: Dumber.
Sheldon: A Möbius strip is a two-dimensional manifold that's embedded in...
Missy: Dumber.
Sheldon: Do you know what a square is?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: Cube?
Meemaw: Of course.
Sheldon: Then you know what a C-8 octachoron is.
[Meemaw and Missy stare blankly at Sheldon]

Sheldon: It's refreshing to talk to people who appreciate my work.
Dr. John Sturgis: Appreciate it, understand it, and are inspired by it.
Dr. Linkletter: Ditto, ditto and ditto.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I'm sure your family is very proud.
Sheldon: Yes, but not just me. Childish maps, impregnating a woman out of wedlock... they're proud of all their kids.
[Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter stare blankly at Sheldon]

Mary: Whip some of the lumps?
George: Point is, Sheldon's gobbledygook article got us a bidding war.
Mary: George, what do you know about grad school?
George: Nothing, but I do know about recruiting blue chip talent. These schools want him, and we got him.
Mary: He's not a prize heifer to auction off.
George: Mary, we got two average kids. Let's cash in on the smart one.

Georgie: Do you think I talk funny?
Mandy: What'd my mom say?
Georgie: Just that I should speak more proper.
Mandy: You're fine, and she should mind her own business.
Georgie: Thanks, 'cause she's all worried CeeCee's gonna sound like me.
Mandy: Oh.
Georgie: What?
Mandy: Nothing. You know, when I was a weather girl, I took some speech classes, and they really seemed to help.
Georgie: Did you used to sound like me?
Mandy: Oh, sweetie, no. [laughs]

Mary: I thought U.T. was burnt orange?
Mr. Beaudry: Oh, no, that's the University of Texas. We're the University of Toronto. Go, True Blue.
George: Toronto?
Mr. Beaudry: Yes, sir, we're the Harvard of the North, eh.
George: Well, you should probably get going. Got a long trip ahead of you.

Dr. John Sturgis: We know this recruiting thing can be stressful, and we just wanted to see how you're holding up.
Sheldon: It's actually not stressful at all. My parents have been handling most of it.
Dr. Linkletter: That's great. That's why it's good to have family close by.
Dr. John Sturgis: Friends and family just a hop, skip and a jump away.
Sheldon: I don't hop, skip or jump.
Dr. Linkletter: See, that's that sense of humor that we get but strangers may not.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes. [forced laughter]

George: This is your decision, but best I understand, these other schools are the major leagues, and East Texas Tech is T-ball.
Sheldon: Please don't make sports analogies.
George: Fine. These schools are like... Superman and East Texas Tech is like... regular man?
Sheldon: Better, I think.