Sheldon: I need to wash my hands. There are germs here that can kill you.

Sheldon: You're reading a comic book.
Tam: I am.
Sheldon: You do understand those are for children.
Tam: Have you ever read one?
Sheldon: I outgrew picture books when I was three.
Tam: Just eat your lunch.

Meemaw: How about I cut that pork chop off the bone and throw it in the blender with some gravy?
Sheldon: If it fits through a bendy straw, I'll drink it.

Tam: What are you doing here?
Sheldon: Oh, hello, Tam.
Tam: I thought you said comic books are for children.
Sheldon: I'm a complicated young man.

Sheldon: What I find interesting is how many supervillains are scientists: Doctor Octopus, Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor, Green Goblin, the list goes on and on.
Tam: So?
Sheldon: So if the world doesn't respect me, I might change sides.

Tam: Hello.
Sheldon: Tam? What are you doing here?
Tam: Would you like to go to a party with me?
Sheldon: I don't want to go to a party with anyone.

Sheldon: And here near apogee, we gimbal the engine to exert a torque that executes a pitchover maneuver to flip the rocket by 180 degrees.
Dr. Hodges: Well, that's very impressive. Thank you very much for taking the time-
Sheldon: I'm not done.
Dr. Hodges: Uh, sorry.

Dr. Hodges: This is groundbreaking work. Thank you.
Sheldon: And?
Dr. Hodges: And?
Sheldon: I thought you might want to apologize.
Dr. Hodges: Well why?
Sheldon: You tried to shut me up with a patch.
Dr. Hodges: Well, I-I give those to everyone. A-And you have to understand, Sheldon, that while your math is-is theoretically correct, we don't have the technical capability to execute it.
Sheldon: So I'm ahead of my time?
Dr. Hodges: Well it would appear so.
Sheldon: All right, call me when you catch up.

Sheldon: Dad?
George: Yeah?
Sheldon: Would you like to have a conversation?
George: Yeah. Sure. Absolutely.
Sheldon: All right, what would you like to talk about?
George: Um, well, let's see. Uh, have you given much thought to what you want to be when you grow up?
Sheldon: I have.
George: Great. ... And what would that be?
Sheldon: Oh, most likely a scientist. Unless I stay in Texas, then I'm thinking cattle baron.
George: Cattle baron?
Sheldon: Assuming I don't have to touch the cows.
George: Goes without saying.

Sheldon: The toilet was sanitized for my protection. I love this place.

Sheldon: That's humorous, because Spock is half human and half Vulcan. But he's ashamed of his human side. That's why I identify with him.

Sheldon: Does she break wind on your head? Because that's what Georgie does to me.

Sheldon: Ms. Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yeah, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm done.
Ms. Ingram: What?
Sheldon: I enjoyed it very much. I'll take another if you have one.
Ms. Ingram: No, I don't have another one. J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Sheldon: So, I guess I have to rethink my abilities. Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
Tam: Georgie didn't pass because of you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: He cheated. He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe.
Sheldon: He wouldn't do that. When you cheat in school, you only cheat yourself.
Tam: Where'd you get that?
Sheldon: An inspirational poster outside the boys' room.

Sheldon: You dirty bird.
Georgie: What are you doing in here?
Sheldon: You cheated.
Georgie: No, I didn't.
Sheldon: I'm holding the evidence.
Georgie: Let me see that. [SPITS] I don't see nothin'.
Sheldon: That's obstruction of justice, as well as disgusting.