Veronica: Is there anything else?
Sheldon: There is, but I'm not allowed to ask about it.
Veronica: Oh, it's okay. You can ask me anything.
Sheldon: Oh, good. I don't like cats, but I share their curious nature.

[Church board says "Jesus Exorcises Every Day."]
Sheldon: Did you write that?
Mary: You betcha.
Sheldon: Instead of puns, have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards. For example, "Do geese see God?" Trust me. Both ways.
Mary: Come inside.
Sheldon: Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak. That's a funny word. Kayak. Never get me in one.

Sheldon: Okay. Who's next?
Missy: Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
Sheldon: Of Mackenzie Chevrolet? Now those are what we call "deep pockets."

Pastor Jeff: For so many months, our little parish has been struggling financially. But by the grace of God and his provision, we have received the most donations in church history! Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
Sheldon: So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit?
Missy: We need to start our own church.
Sheldon: They don't pay taxes. It's a very sound business model.

George: So you want me to put that thing on that roof?
Sheldon: Yes.
George: So you can hear who won a science prize?
Sheldon: The Nobel Prize.
George: Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?
Sheldon: I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.
Missy: He got you there.

George: The Super Bowl is football. Your thing is- I don't even know what your thing is.
Sheldon: It's the most prestigious award in the field of physics.
George: I'll think about it.
Sheldon: When I win one, I might just thank you in my speech.
George: The things I do for you.

Sheldon: Why aren't you also driving Missy to school?
Mary: I thought it might be nice for us to chat.
Sheldon: About Missy? She is a bit much, isn't she?

Mary: Here's a question for you. Do you ever see or hear things that other people can't?
Sheldon: Oh, all the time. Right now, the car antenna is vibrating at the same frequency as the pistons in the motor. It's quite irritating, but you know me I don't complain.
Mary: I meant more like things that aren't actually there.
Sheldon: Ah, isn't that the fundamental question of modern metaphysics? What is actually there? This is fun. Missy should ride with Dad more often.

Sheldon: Mother?
Mary: Yes?
Sheldon: Is it okay if I use a knife to butter my toast, or are you worried I'll do something crazy with it?
Mary: You can butter your own toast.
Sheldon: Oh, good. You see the toast, too. I was afraid I was imagining it.

Sheldon: [to Mary] I am behaving no differently than I ever have. Why are you suddenly so worried about me?
Dr. Goetsch: That is a valid question. Has anything changed recently?
Sheldon: Maybe it's hormonal. When does menopause typically begin?
Mary: It is not my hormones.
Sheldon: Well, it certainly isn't mine. I'm showing no signs of puberty.

George: What do you think you're doing?
Sheldon: Exploring the impact of the French invasion on Imperial Russian society.
George: Well, get out of here. You're going back to class.
Sheldon: No, I'm not.
George: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I don't learn anything in class. But in here I've taught myself the applications of gravitational lensing, Faraday's law of magnetic induction, and how to whistle. [blows air] Well, sound came out yesterday.
George: You can't spend your day in a broom closet.
Sheldon: It's no longer a broom closet. It's now a citadel of higher learning.

Sheldon: Same room. Different teacher. Same night. Different time. This is a real roller coaster.
Meemaw: Yeah, it's wild.

Dr. Linkletter: Just a warning: today's lecture is rather advanced.
Sheldon: Don't worry. If you get confused, I'll be right here in the front row.

Dr. Linkletter: So then we're able to take the ends of the strings and connect them to a ten-dimensional membrane. Yes, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis taught us that if you leave the strings open, it allows far more possibilities.
Dr. Linkletter: We don't believe you need open strings anymore. That's an older model of thinking. Now... Yes, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Just because something is older doesn't mean that it's not still good. Original Star Trek is older than Next Generation, but if you think that Mr. Data is better than Mr. Spock, you don't know what you're talking about.
Dr. Linkletter: I don't know what you're talking about.

Sheldon: That robotics lecture's going to be eye-opening. Get ready to forget everything you know about robot communication.
Meemaw: Moon Pie, I don't know if we're gonna go to this thing.
Sheldon: Why not? We've established that you're free, and I'm a child, so my schedule's wide open.
Meemaw: It's complicated.
Sheldon: Well, we're just sitting here, and we have to talk about something.
Meemaw: Can you just let this one go?
Sheldon: I think we both know the answer to that question.