Dr. Linkletter: [to Meemaw] I admire your bravado.
Sheldon: In this case, isn't it the feminine, "bravada"?
Dr. Linkletter: I've never heard the term "bravada." Let's just go with "chutzpah."
Sheldon: What's chutzpah?
Dr. Linkletter: It's like moxie.
Sheldon: Oh, I do like moxie.
Dr. Linkletter: [to Meemaw] I admire your moxie. However, I believe that nylon thread would be the best choice.
Sheldon: True, it's chemically inert and would allow more light to pass through.
Meemaw: Nylon thread. Done.
Dr. Linkletter: Brava. That one I know is a word.

Adult Sheldon: My role as Dr. Linkletter's lab assistant was progressing nicely. I had mastered operating the manual particle collector, aka a broom. I may not always recognize sarcasm, but I sure know how to use it.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I've hit a bit of a roadblock with the solar neutrino detector. Why don't you come have a look?
Sheldon: Are you saying you would like me to take part in your experiment?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I think a fresh set of eyes might be helpful.
Sheldon: Because my previous observations proved correct?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: And had you listened to me, the lab wouldn't have caught fire?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: So just to be clear, at the tender age of 11, I'll be officially participating in an academic study.
Dr. Linkletter: Will you do it or not?
Sheldon: Absolutely. [hands Dr. Linkletter the broom] Here you go.
Dr. Linkletter: What am I supposed to do with this?
Sheldon: Well, if you can't figure that out, no wonder you need my help.

Dr. Linkletter: So, the problem that I'm running into is I can't get the inner sphere to remain suspended in the buffer liquid.
Sheldon: Have you tried wrapping the sphere in copper wire?
Dr. Linkletter: I did, but it just slips out.
Sheldon: Perhaps we could suspend it in some sort of sleeve.
Dr. Linkletter: That would prevent light from getting through.
Sheldon: Hmm. [strokes chin] I wonder if my thinking would be more effective if I had a beard to stroke. It's one of the few aspects of puberty I'm looking forward to.

Sheldon: I never thought a sphere suspended in mineral oil could be so exciting.
Dr. Linkletter: Eight minutes and it hasn't moved. So far so good.
Sheldon: Oh, boy, my heart is pounding. I hope I don't turn into an adrenaline junkie.

Adult Sheldon: The next day, I set out to start my own club. It involved science, education and all the glitz and glamour of show business. All I had to do was sit back and wait for my new Proton posse to come rolling in.
Sheldon: Greetings, fellow Professor Proton fan.
Guy: Oh, I thought this room was empty.
Sheldon: Well, it's not. This is a meeting of the Professor Proton Appreciation Club. Would you like to fill out an application?
Guy: I'm just looking for someplace quiet.
Sheldon: I understand. Well, it doesn't look like anyone's gonna show up, so if you would like to read here, you're welcome to.
Guy: Okay. [sits down]
Sheldon: I was only starting this club because my mother wanted me to make some friends. Not just her. It started with my physics professor, Dr. Linkletter, who I thought was my friend but then decided...
Guy: Are you gonna keep talking?
Sheldon: I-I've got a book.
Adult Sheldon: That day, the Read in Silence Club was born. Its members were me and my new friend...
Sheldon: What's your name?
Guy: Shh.
Adult Sheldon: And my new friend, that guy.

Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, why are you at my desk?
Sheldon: I like your keyboard. The ones at the library are too clacky.
Dr. Linkletter: I thought you were going to join a club.
Sheldon: I tried, but they each had their own problems.
Dr. Linkletter: By chance, were any of those problems you?
Sheldon: You're so funny. I missed this.

Sheldon: Would you like your seat back?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes. I'd also like my office back.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Dr. Linkletter: Son, you can't just hang out here whenever you want.
Sheldon: Why not? We're friends.
Dr. Linkletter: No. I'm a professor, you're a student. I'm 68, you're 11. Do you see where I'm headed here?
Sheldon: Nope.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I've tried to be nice about this, but you're just not taking the hint. If you have questions about class, I'm here. Otherwise, please leave me alone.
Sheldon: Uh, I understand.
Dr. Linkletter: Thank you.

Sheldon: I'm hurt Dr. Linkletter doesn't want me as a friend.
Mary: Understandable.
Sheldon: I'm also angry. I don't like having two feelings at once. It's annoying. Great, annoyed. That's three.

Adult Sheldon: For some reason, Dr. Linkletter felt it was important that I start my quest to join a club immediately. The interview process was tougher than you'd expect.
[title: Chess Club:]
Sheldon: So why exactly should I join your club?
Chris: Well, cool people, good chess players, and when the weather's nice, we meet in the quad.
Sheldon: Outside?
Chris: Yes.
Sheldon: Under trees?
Chris: Yes.
Sheldon: Where birds live?
Chris: Yes.
Sheldon: I think we're done here.

Sheldon: Hello, lunch friend.
Dr. Linkletter: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Egg salad. Stinky.
Dr. Linkletter: What do you want?
Sheldon: I have some bad news. I'm going to join a club on campus, which means we won't be able to have lunch together.
Dr. Linkletter: Wonderful! For you. Sad for me. Mmm. Happy trails.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we're still having lunch today. You get to help me decide which club I should join.
Dr. Linkletter: Terrific.

[title: Debate Club:]
Sheldon: Proposition: the newest member of the Debate Club should be Sheldon Cooper. You're the affirmative. Go.
Ashley: Who's Sheldon Cooper?
Sheldon: Me. And I believe I should not join the debate team because there are far more valuable uses of my time.
Ashley: Do you want to join or not?
Sheldon: That's the debate, isn't it?
Ashley: I don't know what's happening.
Sheldon: If you're thrown for a loop, wait until you hear my rebuttal. Sheldon Cooper should not join the debate team because your leadership is clearly questionable.
Ashley: Okay, you're not in the club.
Sheldon: Ha! I win. Wait.

[title: Sci-Fi Club:]
Sheldon: So, what kind of activities does the Science Fiction Club engage in?
Greg: Well, this Friday we're having a screening of Star Wars on laser disc.
Sheldon: I thought this was the Science Fiction Club.
Greg: It is.
Sheldon: Star Wars is science fantasy. The Force is basically magic. At that point, you might as well be watching The Hobbit.
Greg: That's next week.
Sheldon: This is madness.

Adult Sheldon: After a few short weeks as a full-time college student, I am proud to say the transition had gone quite nicely. My classes were going well, I knew my way around campus and I had an active and vibrant social life.
Sheldon: There you are.
Dr. Linkletter: Why are you here?
Sheldon: Lunch. Don't worry, I didn't start without you.
Dr. Linkletter: How did you get in?
Sheldon: Janitor Jim.
Dr. Linkletter: And why would Janitor Jim do that?
Sheldon: You're not my only friend around here.

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Dr. Linkletter?
Man: No.
Sheldon: Sorry. You and he have the same loafers. Carry on.

Dr. Linkletter: What?
Sheldon: I've been looking for you.
Dr. Linkletter: I was just trying to have a little privacy.
Sheldon: Smart. No one will bother us out here. [climbs into car] What is that? Ham?

Dr. Willard: The Moho lies between the mantle and the crust, and...
Sheldon: Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Linkletter.
Dr. Willard: He's not here.
Sheldon: Sorry for wasting your time. Oh, this is geology. You're already wasting your time.

Sheldon: I'll trade you my apple slices for your pudding cup.
Dr. Linkletter: No.
Sheldon: Aren't you a little old for a pudding cup?
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, surely there's somebody else you could have lunch with.
Sheldon: There is, but the lunch rush is a busy time for janitors.
Dr. Linkletter: Perhaps you could work on widening your social circles here.
Sheldon: I'm already at two. That's double where I was at high school.

Adult Sheldon: The next day, Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment. I'm proud to say I never broke my word, and he eventually figured out the problem. [flames wooshing]
Dr. Linkletter: Fire! Fire! Fire! Was it too much oxygen in the reagents?
Sheldon: See? You didn't need my help after all.

Dr. Linkletter: Hello?
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter? [Dr. Linkletter sighs] Sheldon Cooper. I'm calling to apologize. I shouldn't have quit. I made a commitment, and I need to see it through.
Dr. Linkletter: I appreciate that, but there's no need.
Sheldon: There is. It's important to me, as well as my father.
Dr. Linkletter: Fine.
Sheldon: Excellent. Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds. I give you my word as a Texan.
Dr. Linkletter: Great.
Sheldon: And a man.
Dr. Linkletter: Very good.
Sheldon: Well, a future man. At present, my hormones and body hair aren't exactly what you'd call...
Dr. Linkletter: Good night. [hangs up]

Adult Sheldon: The next day I returned to my role as lab assistant with renewed vigor. Bolts were greased, wires were stripped, floors were swept, all with a smile. It was a forced smile but you'd never know.
Dr. Linkletter: I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed.
Sheldon: I gave you my word and I'm standing by it.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I know it's not glamorous, but all scientists pay their dues.
Sheldon: And I'm happy to do it.
Dr. Linkletter: Good man.
Sheldon: I understand my role here. In fact, I noticed a flaw in your reaction rates, but I kept it to myself because I know my place.
Dr. Linkletter: You really think there's a flaw?
Sheldon: Oh, yes.
Dr. Linkletter: What is it?
Sheldon: I appreciate you testing me, but I'm not going to crack.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm not testing you.
Sheldon: Nice try.