Adult Sheldon: The next day, I set out to start my own club. It involved science, education and all the glitz and glamour of show business. All I had to do was sit back and wait for my new Proton posse to come rolling in.
Sheldon: Greetings, fellow Professor Proton fan.
Guy: Oh, I thought this room was empty.
Sheldon: Well, it's not. This is a meeting of the Professor Proton Appreciation Club. Would you like to fill out an application?
Guy: I'm just looking for someplace quiet.
Sheldon: I understand. Well, it doesn't look like anyone's gonna show up, so if you would like to read here, you're welcome to.
Guy: Okay. [sits down]
Sheldon: I was only starting this club because my mother wanted me to make some friends. Not just her. It started with my physics professor, Dr. Linkletter, who I thought was my friend but then decided...
Guy: Are you gonna keep talking?
Sheldon: I-I've got a book.
Adult Sheldon: That day, the Read in Silence Club was born. Its members were me and my new friend...
Sheldon: What's your name?
Guy: Shh.
Adult Sheldon: And my new friend, that guy.

Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Sheldon: I'm hurt Dr. Linkletter doesn't want me as a friend.
Mary: Understandable.
Sheldon: I'm also angry. I don't like having two feelings at once. It's annoying. Great, annoyed. That's three.

[title: Sci-Fi Club:]
Sheldon: So, what kind of activities does the Science Fiction Club engage in?
Greg: Well, this Friday we're having a screening of Star Wars on laser disc.
Sheldon: I thought this was the Science Fiction Club.
Greg: It is.
Sheldon: Star Wars is science fantasy. The Force is basically magic. At that point, you might as well be watching The Hobbit.
Greg: That's next week.
Sheldon: This is madness.

Dr. Willard: The Moho lies between the mantle and the crust, and...
Sheldon: Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Linkletter.
Dr. Willard: He's not here.
Sheldon: Sorry for wasting your time. Oh, this is geology. You're already wasting your time.