Adult Sheldon: My role as Dr. Linkletter's lab assistant was progressing nicely. I had mastered operating the manual particle collector, aka a broom. I may not always recognize sarcasm, but I sure know how to use it.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I've hit a bit of a roadblock with the solar neutrino detector. Why don't you come have a look?
Sheldon: Are you saying you would like me to take part in your experiment?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I think a fresh set of eyes might be helpful.
Sheldon: Because my previous observations proved correct?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: And had you listened to me, the lab wouldn't have caught fire?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: So just to be clear, at the tender age of 11, I'll be officially participating in an academic study.
Dr. Linkletter: Will you do it or not?
Sheldon: Absolutely. [hands Dr. Linkletter the broom] Here you go.
Dr. Linkletter: What am I supposed to do with this?
Sheldon: Well, if you can't figure that out, no wonder you need my help.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Georgie: Remember, the smart cheater gets some answers wrong.

Pastor Jeff: Get this. I drove past the Methodist church and you know what the sign out front said?
Mary: What?
Pastor Jeff: "Friendship, pirate ship, try the best ship... worship."
Mary: Clever.
Pastor Jeff: That was our sign last year! I wrote that!
Mary: Isn't the most important thing that it might get more people to go to church?
Pastor Jeff: But whoever did it has the sin of stealing on their soul now, so at least there's that.
Mary: There you go.

Dr. Linkletter: So, the problem that I'm running into is I can't get the inner sphere to remain suspended in the buffer liquid.
Sheldon: Have you tried wrapping the sphere in copper wire?
Dr. Linkletter: I did, but it just slips out.
Sheldon: Perhaps we could suspend it in some sort of sleeve.
Dr. Linkletter: That would prevent light from getting through.
Sheldon: Hmm. [strokes chin] I wonder if my thinking would be more effective if I had a beard to stroke. It's one of the few aspects of puberty I'm looking forward to.