Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Missy: I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you.
George Jr.: What girl?
Missy: I don't know. A girl.
George Jr.: Well, what'd she say?
Missy: It's hard to remember. This was months ago.

Mary: Finish your dinner and then pack a bag. We are going to Meemaw's.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
Sheldon: For how long?
Mary: I don't know. Just pack.
Sheldon: Will I need earmuffs?
Mary: Sure, if you want.
Sheldon: Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
Mary: Then don't bring it.
Sheldon: I'll just bring my almanac. You know what, I'll bring both. Should I pack my toothbrush or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
Missy: I got this one. Nobody cares.

Sheldon: We really need to get one of these.
Mary: What on earth do we need a computer for?
Missy: Yeah, we got you and your big head.

Missy: Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.

Sheldon: It's not fair. You bought Missy a Ring Pop.
Mary: For ten cents.
Missy: And I'm worth every penny.

Pastor Jeff: Now, uh, last week, we started talking about the Gospel of John. Does anybody have a notion as to what God's getting at in that passage? Yes, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Chapter one, verse one states, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God." Well done.
Sheldon: Thank you. I read the gospels last night.
Missy: Suck up.

Mary: Shelly, why aren't you asleep?
Sheldon: I'm studying for Sunday school.
Mary: You're reading the Bible? That's wonderful.
Sheldon: I do have a question.
Mary: Sure, what?
Sheldon: Is there anyone in our town from the Amalek tribe?
Mary: I don't know, why?
Sheldon: If there is, we're supposed to kill them and their cows.
Mary: Well, no. There's no Amaleks.
Missy: Told you.

Missy: You got my message! Hi-yah! [jumping across to Sheldon's bed]
Sheldon: No hugging! No hugging! [Missy laughing]

Mary: "Nice people."
George Sr.: Then why did we leave him there?!
Mary: Because we love him and we want the best for him.
Missy: This is tense.

Missy: Sheldon, can you hear me? It's your twin sister, Missy. Everything's all right here, but I think Mom misses you real bad. All right, I can't hear you, so I'm gonna hang up now.

Missy: You awake?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Are you gonna miss me?
Sheldon: I haven't given it any thought.
Missy: Well, we're just lying here. Think about it.
Sheldon: I am used to you.
Missy: I'm used to you, too.
Sheldon: It's not the same as liking you.
Missy: No.
Sheldon: To me, you're like string beans. No one asks for them, no one wonders about them. They're just there on the plate.
Missy: But you eat them, right?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: You're gonna miss me.

Sheldon: Hello.
Missy: What's that for?
Sheldon: Oh, this? I was just digging for money in Meemaw's backyard.
Missy: There's money there?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
Missy: Who do you think left it?
Sheldon: If I were to guess, I'd say pirates with holes in their pockets.
Missy: Can I use your shovel?
Sheldon: Be my guest.
Missy: Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.

George Sr.: Georgie, how'd you do on that math test today?
George Jr.: It was tough. I don't know.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
George Jr.: Me, too.
Mary: That's all right, baby, you tried.
Missy: Yeah. It's okay, baby.

Mary: Now, come on, let's tuck you in.
Missy: I'm glad I don't have orange hair.
Mary: Me, too, baby.
Missy: I want to be more like Madonna.
Mary: Are you trying to kill me? 'Cause if you are, good job.
Missy: Why is she only like a virgin?
Mary: Good night!

Missy: My head is so hot!
Meemaw: She is such a hoot.

Missy: Seriously, I'm melting.

Missy: How come I don't get to go?
Mary: 'Cause you, me and Meemaw are gonna have our own fun.
Missy: Could we shoot guns at the gun range?
Mary: Mm, you're too young to go to the gun range.
Missy: Meemaw took me.
Meemaw: We pinky swore. What are you doing?
Missy: Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm saying.

Sheldon: I can write it down for you.
George Sr.: That's okay, I don't want it.
Missy: You have got to be kidding me.

Sheldon: Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father. It rarely leads to a breakup of the family.
Missy: He's right. Fred and Wilma are still happily married.