Meemaw: Hey, you got any plans this weekend?
June: I don't think so. Why?
Meemaw: I happen to have a coupon for a free room at the Royale Casino.
June: Now you're talking! How'd you swing that?
Meemaw: Well, you lose enough, they give you all kinds of crap.
June: I'm in.
Meemaw: And if you really feel like gambling, they got an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet.
June: Put enough drinks in me, I'll eat anything. [Meemaw laughs]

June: So, why are you taking me instead of Dale?
Meemaw: Well, last time he and I went casino hopping, it didn't work out too hot.
June: 'Cause he proposed and you said no?
Meemaw: Why would he tell you that?!
June: Hey, don't feel bad. I'm the dummy that said yes to him.
Meemaw: Well, I guess you got a point there.

June: Whoever decided to put video poker in the bar is a genius.
Meemaw: If they change the seats out to toilets, we'd never have to leave. [both laugh]

Meemaw: So, what else has Dale told you about our relationship?
June: You still hung up on that?
Meemaw: Apparently.
June: You know, I don't think he meant to. We were having a drink, and it just kind of slipped out.
Meemaw: Y'all still go out drinking together?
June: It was our grandson's elementary school graduation, so yeah.
Meemaw: I didn't know y'all were that close.
June: Are you jealous?
Meemaw: No.
June: Sounds like it.
Meemaw: Well... You ever sleep with him after the divorce?
June: Gross! No. That cranky bag of wrinkles is all yours.
Meemaw: That's a comfort. [laughs] I guess.

Dr. Linkletter: Connie, would you help us detect solar neutrinos?
Meemaw: Really? You-you-you want me to be a part of your science thing?
Dr. Linkletter: Indeed.
Meemaw: Well... sure, why not.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Excellent.
Adult Sheldon: And just like that, my meemaw had been seduced by the siren call of science.
Meemaw: But before we unravel the secrets of the universe, I'm gonna hit the john.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh... of course.

Meemaw: Can I ask... why exactly are we looking for solar neutrinos?
Sheldon: Other experiments have only seen about half the neutrinos coming from the Sun.
Dr. Linkletter: And we'd like to figure out why.
Meemaw: And what happens if we do?
Dr. Linkletter: They will tell us what kind of nuclear reactions are going on there.
Meemaw: In the Sun?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Meemaw: That's so far... how?
Sheldon: Neutrinos are made deep within the core of the Sun. They have to go over a hundred times the radius of Earth just to get out.
Meemaw: Mm, kind of like how you can drive all day and still be in Texas.
Dr. Linkletter: Exactly, then they have to travel another 93 million miles just to get here.
Meemaw: Huh.
Sheldon: Neutrinos are essentially direct messengers from the center of the Sun.
Dr. Linkletter: That's why we're building the prototype.
Meemaw: And I get to be a part of it?
Dr. Linkletter: You do.
Meemaw: Damn. Is there any money in it?
Dr. Linkletter: No.
Meemaw: Damn.

Meemaw: Wow. Look at those beautiful neutrinos.
Sheldon: Those aren't neutrinos.
Meemaw: What are you talking about? That's what we're looking for.
Sheldon: That's just radioactivity.
Meemaw: Well, then, when do we find the neutrinos?
Dr. Linkletter: We don't. This is just the prototype.
Meemaw: You kidding me?
Sheldon: The actual device needed would be the size of a building.
Dr. Linkletter: And that's 20 to 30 years away.
Meemaw: Well, I could be dead by then.
Sheldon: You still may have helped advance science.
Dr. Linkletter: Unless another team beats us to it.
Sheldon: Yeah.
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait in the car.
Sheldon: If it helps, in 30 years, I should still be alive. [to Dr. Linkletter] Boy, you'd think she'd be happy about that.

George: Tow truck's on the way.
Mary: You sure we shouldn't call an ambulance?
Meemaw: I'm fine. Sheldon?
Sheldon: I feel fine.
George: What happened?
Meemaw: Oh, a cat ran in front of me.
George: You couldn't stop?
Meemaw: I tried, but the brake just gave out.
Mary: Well, thank goodness it wasn't worse.
Meemaw: I should have aimed for the cat.

George: Looks like your car's gonna be out of commission for a while.
Mary: If you need a ride, the church offers a shuttle service.
Meemaw: I'm not getting on that geezer bus.
Mary: It's just for people who can't get around.
Meemaw: That's 'cause they're so shriveled up, they can't even see over the steering wheel.
George: I've driven that van... it is grim.

Meemaw: [on the phone] I don't care what your guy says. Have him check it again. [hangs up] Sorry, I'm cranky.
Dale: No problem. I like when you yell at people who aren't me.
Meemaw: Stupid mechanic said the brakes are just fine.
Dale: Well, you probably stepped on the wrong pedal.
Meemaw: I didn't.
Dale: I'm just saying, it happens with people our age, you know.
Meemaw: I've been driving my whole life. I know which pedal is which.
Dale: Now you're yelling at me.
Meemaw: Sorry.

Meemaw: I just think it'd kill me to lose my independence like that.
Hortense: Oh, it's not so bad. Sometimes Clayton takes us to the park.
Vern: Like dogs.
Meemaw: I got places to go... Bowling league, water aerobics, I drive my grandson to college.
Hortense: Why can't he drive himself?
Meemaw: Well, he's 11.
Hortense: Wha...?
Vern: 11 and in college?
Meemaw: He's special.
Hortense: Our grandson is 27.
Vern: Mm, he may be the other kind of special.

Meemaw: Tell me, when was the last time you went and got all dolled up at a salon?
Doris: I don't even remember.
Hortense: It's been years.
Vern: Does it look like I go to a salon?
Meemaw: We're going now. I'm gonna take you, and it's on me.
Vern: This is exciting. [laughter] It's a good thing I got my heart pills.

Meemaw: How's that salad?
Dale: It sucks. How's your steak?
Meemaw: You know how they overcook it sometimes so it's a little bit dry?
Dale: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: Not this time. It's so good.
Dale: You know what else is good? This radish.
Meemaw: Would you like some steak?
Dale: Yes.
Meemaw: Then you probably should've ordered some. It's delicious.
Dale: You are not a very nice lady.
Meemaw: [softly] Mmm.

Meemaw: My husband went to the doctor. And they found something. Two days later, he was in surgery. Nine months later, he was dead.
Dale: Geez.
Meemaw: I don't want that. And I, I don't want to put anybody else through that.
Dale: I'm sorry.
Meemaw: Mm.
Dale: I hope you stick around long enough to start looking like a mummy, too.
Meemaw: [chuckles] I always pictured myself more the Bride of Frankenstein type.
Dale: Well, you got the hair for it.

Meemaw: I'm sorry she ruined your picture, but, you know, she's having a bad day.
Sheldon: Oh, please, she can find another boyfriend.
Meemaw: I know you're mad at her.
Sheldon: I hate her.
Meemaw: Hey, don't say that about family.
Sheldon: You say mean stuff about my dad.
Meemaw: That's different. He deserves it.