Meemaw: I just think it'd kill me to lose my independence like that.
Hortense: Oh, it's not so bad. Sometimes Clayton takes us to the park.
Vern: Like dogs.
Meemaw: I got places to go... Bowling league, water aerobics, I drive my grandson to college.
Hortense: Why can't he drive himself?
Meemaw: Well, he's 11.
Hortense: Wha...?
Vern: 11 and in college?
Meemaw: He's special.
Hortense: Our grandson is 27.
Vern: Mm, he may be the other kind of special.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Adult Sheldon: My mother eventually coaxed me back into a car with a trip to RadioShack. She knew I was nervous so she came up with an interesting distraction.
Mary: Baby, how about we play a car game?
Sheldon: I suppose. Can I make it science-based?
Mary: Sure.
Sheldon: I'll say an element starting with "A," then you repeat that and add one starting with "B."
Mary: I don't think I'll get very far.
Sheldon: Great. Then I'll win. Aluminum.
Mary: Okay, uh, you said "A" for aluminum. "B." Is boron an element?
Sheldon: Yes.
Adult Sheldon: It was the beginning of a new tradition. One that would eventually bring countless hours of joy to Leonard on our drives to work. Much like my mother, he never beat me.
Mary: I don't know an element that starts with "D."
Sheldon: I win. That was fun. Round two. Argon.

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] So, there's no one who can lend you a car?
Meemaw: There is the church shuttle, but that just feels like it's the end of the line.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I wouldn't say that. There's all sorts of depressing steps before the end. You've got full-time nursing care.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Assisted living.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hospice.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Life support.
Meemaw: Bye, John!
Dr. John Sturgis: Pulling the plug. [chuckles]
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then... you make a miraculous recovery!
Meemaw: Great!
Dr. John Sturgis: But... the hospital bills leave you destitute!
Meemaw: Bye.
Dr. John Sturgis: Bye.

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] Oh, my goodness. Was anyone hurt?
Meemaw: No. But now I got no car for a while.
Dr. John Sturgis: You could ride your bike.
Meemaw: An old lady on a bike? That's not cool.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? Then I won't ask how I look on one.
Meemaw: You look great.
Dr. John Sturgis: I know. I just wanted to hear you say it. [Meemaw chuckles]