George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism

George Sr.: When you were married, would you have said that Herschel was your best friend?
Brenda Sparks: [scoffs] What married person would say that?
George Sr.: My buddy Wayne.
Brenda Sparks: Does this buddy of yours have kids?
George Sr.: No.
Brenda Sparks: Then what the hell does he know?
George Sr.: He's a very happy guy. It's exhausting. Ooh, I should get going.
Brenda Sparks: Okay. You want to take a chicken for the smoker?
George Sr.: Do I look like a vegetarian?

Quote from the episode Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench

Mary: You are finishing high school, end of discussion.
George Jr.: It's my life.
George Sr.: It's my house. If you're don't go to school, you can't live here.
Mary: Hold on, we are not kicking him out.
George Sr.: The hell we're not!
George Jr.: I'll pack right now.
Mary: Stop, you don't have to go.
George Sr.: Yes, he does. My house, my rules.
Mary: It is my house, too.
George Sr.: Oh, really?
Mary: Yes, really.

Quote from the episode Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room

George Sr.: Hey. You might want to check in on Sheldon.
Mary: Is he okay?
George Sr.: Well, he was smiling.
Mary: Smiling how? [George mimics Sheldon's strained grin] Oh, boy.

Quote from the episode Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room

George Sr.: Let's just put this down for a few days.
Missy: Why? 'Cause you don't want to hear him complain?
George Sr.: Bingo.

Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy

George Sr.: So, how'd it go?
Sheldon: I had Dr. Sturgis present his ideas to Dr. Linkletter like you said.
George Sr.: And?
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: John, I must say, that might be the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Big talk coming from the man who thought the whole thing could be explained with classical field theory.
[present:]
George Sr.: Oh, no. Then what happened?
Sheldon: Well...
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Why on earth would you bring this crackpot into my lab?
[present:]
George Sr.: You didn't mention me, did you?
[flashback:]
Sheldon: Because we're all on Team Science, and don't we want Team Science to win?
[present:]
George Sr.: Okay, good.
Sheldon: But then...
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: "Team Science"?
Dr. Linkletter: And where did you get that bit of clichéd nonsense?
Sheldon: My dad.
[present:]
George Sr.: [exhales]

Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy

Missy: What did you say to Billy?
George Sr.: Uh... What did Billy say to you?
Missy: He asked me out. And he said he talked to you about it?
George Sr.: Well, yes, but...
Missy: Why wouldn't you warn me? He asked me out in front of my friends.
George Sr.: I didn't tell him to do it. I-I told him to think about it.
Missy: Well, he thought about it, and then he did it, so thanks a lot. [walks away]
George Sr.: [sighs] Wayne was right.
Missy: [turns back] You told Coach Wilkins?
George Sr.: A little.
Missy: His wife is my teacher. Do you have any idea how bad this is?
George Sr.: I'm putting it together. [Missy huffs angrily] I didn't tell him to do it!

Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy

Brenda Sparks: Hey.
George Sr.: Thanks for letting me come by.
Brenda Sparks: Sure.
George Sr.: How's he doing?
Brenda Sparks: I don't know. He never tells me anything.
George Sr.: Well, Missy talks. It is not an improvement.

Quote from the episode An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel

George Sr.: What's going on?
Sheldon: I can't figure out this engineering project. And every time I turn it in, my professor just rips it up.
George Sr.: Well, ain't this the fella you liked?
Sheldon: I did, when I thought he was pushing me to be all I could be, but it turns out all he can be is mean.

Quote from the episode An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel

Sheldon: Could you talk to him?
George Sr.: You're in college now. Don't you think you should fight your own battles?
Sheldon: Does telling on him to the president of the university count?
George Sr.: Did it work?
Sheldon: No.
George Sr.: Then no.

Quote from the episode An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel

Sheldon: Will you please talk to him?
George Sr.: [sighs] Ooh, what if your mom does it?
Sheldon: But you were both in the Army. And you're both crabby and impatient. There's a lot of common ground.
George Sr.: You really got under this guy's skin, huh?
Sheldon: It would seem so.
George Sr.: Lot of common ground.

Quote from the episode The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

Brenda Sparks: Who knew you were so handy?
George Sr.: Yeah. There's just things guys need to be good at.
Brenda Sparks: What else you good at? [water sputters]
George Sr.: I should go.

Quote from the episode The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

George Sr.: Hey, pretty lady.
Mary: Are you drinking already?
George Sr.: [laughs] No! Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?
Mary: Do I have to smell your breath?
George Sr.: How about a kiss instead?
Mary: What is with you?
George Sr.: Well, I don't know. Kids aren't home.
Mary: Now? I'm doing laundry.
George Sr.: Laundry can wait.
Mary: So can your thing.
George Sr.: I like to think of it as ourthing, but if you only have time for my thing, that's fine, too.
Mary: You're being weird.
George Sr.: Weird sexy?
Mary: No.
George Sr.: Headed to the bedroom?
Mary: No!
George Sr.: Just checking. [sighs]

Quote from the episode The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

George Sr.: What are you doing?
Brenda Sparks: What do you mean?
George Sr.: [scoffs] You know what I mean.
Brenda Sparks: I was just trying to thank you. And you're the one who offered to come over here and fix things.
George Sr.: I was being nice.
Brenda Sparks: So was I.
George Sr.: Yeah, maybe a little too nice.
Brenda Sparks: There is no pleasing you.
George Sr.: Well, I don't need this here. I can get fighting at my house.
Brenda Sparks: Then maybe you should go back to your house.
Billy Sparks: [o.s.] Mom, can you help with my homework?
Brenda Sparks: There in a sec. [to George] You leaving?
George Sr.: You gonna fix the toilet?
Brenda Sparks: No.
George Sr.: Then I guess I'm not leaving.
Brenda Sparks: Thank you. Lasagna?
George Sr.: Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

Quote from the episode An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room

George Sr.: Hey, you better appreciate what you got. There's a lot of kids out there who have way less than you.
Missy: I guess.
George Sr.: You have your own room. I never had that growing up. And then I was in the barracks, and then I married your mother.
Missy: Dang. [chuckles]
George Sr.: Yeah. Tell me about it.
Mary: What happened to appreciating what you have?
George Sr.: Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

Quote from the episode A Pink Cadillac and a Glorious Tribal Dance

Mary: Guess who I ran into at the grocery store. Mr. Lundy.
Missy: Ugh, the weird theater guy?
Mary: He's not weird.
Sheldon: He's also a teacher, realtor, choreographer, ooh, and local celebrity.
Mary: He's actually not doing that stuff now. He is selling makeup. He's even got one of those pink Cadillacs.
George Sr.: Driving a pink car in Texas. Bold choice.

Quote from the episode A Lot of Band-Aids and the Cooper Surrender

George Sr.: [sighs heavily] Apparently, the football boosters think I'm not doing my job. Just 'cause they give a little money to the team...
Coach Wilkins: A lot of money.
George Sr.: They give some amount of money to the team.
Coach Wilkins: And the new scoreboard.
George Sr.: Okay. But I-I give my time, my talent, my sweat. You see any boosters out there doing two-a-day summer practice?
Coach Wilkins: I do not.
George Sr.: Damn right. If they really want to help, you know what they could do? Give birth to stronger, faster kids, 'cause theirs ain't cutting it.
Coach Wilkins: You know you're gonna have to talk to them, right?
George Sr.: [exhales] Yes.
Coach Wilkins: And you know you can't say that stuff about their kids, right?
George Sr.: Well, what if it comes up organically?
Coach Wilkins: Maybe I should come.
George Sr.: [scoffs] I'm not gonna insult their children.
Coach Wilkins: You sure?
George Sr.: Okay, come.

Quote from the episode A Suitcase Full of Cash and a Yellow Clown Car

George Sr.: Oh, no, t-these are great shoes, but at his age, he's gonna grow out of them before you hit the parking lot. [chuckles] These are just as good, and they're gonna save you a little money.
Woman: Thank you.
George Sr.: Take them up to the counter, I'll be right there to ring them up.
Dale: George. You realize you're on commission, don't you?
George Sr.: [to the mother] You know what you never grow out of? Socks. I'm gonna grab you some socks. How about some wristbands?

Quote from the episode A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles

Mary: I'm gonna tell you right now, we can't keep it.
George Sr.: It's not a puppy, Mary, it's 500 bucks.
Mary: It is gambling.
George Sr.: Then why'd you buy the ticket?
Mary: I didn't buy it. They gave it to me at the gas station.
George Sr.: Okay, well, that sounds like a gift from God. You don't want to make Him mad.
Mary: That is not how God works, George.
George Sr.: What if He wanted you to have it to give to the Church?
Mary: Well...
George Sr.: Well, uh, based on that, what ifHe wanted you to have it so we could buy stuff?
Mary: George.
George Sr.: All I'm saying is, we work hard, we're good people. Maybe we deserve this.

Quote from the episode A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles

George Sr.: Ooh, look at the Ultra-Clean Two. It's got five washing cycles.
Mary: I don't know, George, these are really expensive.
George Sr.: You won the money. Spend it.
Mary: Maybe we should just get a more affordable one.
George Sr.: Everything we do is affordable. Uh... splurge for once.
Mary: It's so extravagant.
George Sr.: [laughs] You'd think we were talking about buying a party boat. It's a dishwasher, for crying out loud.
Mary: But the way we got the money, it just doesn't feel right.
George Sr.: So you're telling me you're never okay with bending the rules once in a while?
Mary: That's not how being a Christian works.
George Sr.: Good to know. [grabs the scratch card]
Mary: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Oh, just helping you be a good Christian.

Quote from the episode A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles

Principal Petersen: But I do think you're overreacting.
George Sr.: Come on. I... Would it kill her to loosen up once in a while?
Principal Petersen: Maybe that's just not who she is.
George Sr.: What if it is, just not with me?
Principal Petersen: Well, what does that mean?
George Sr.: The other night I drove by the church and I saw Mary and that new youth pastor just hanging out on the curb, laughing and smoking cigarettes.
Principal Petersen: Yeah? And?
George Sr.: Well, that's not enough?
Principal Petersen: Well, is smoking even a sin? 'Cause I still light up after a roll in the hay.
George Sr.: The point is, she's capable of being fun, just... not with me.