Missy: Like you never messed up when you were my age?
George: Oh, I messed up plenty. Luckily, the Army straightened me out.
Missy: Maybe you should ship me off to the Army. I'm sure that'll make everyone happy.
George: You know, that's not a bad idea.
Missy: What?
George: Tomorrow morning, you're up at 0600.
Missy: Why?
George: Yard work, cleaning the gutters, then you gonna help me put bars on your bedroom window.
Missy: [scoffs] You can't make me do all that.
George: Hmm. Cute how you think that.
Missy: Why are you trying to ruin my life?
George: That's "Why are you trying to ruin my life, sir".

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Mandy: Okay, we got diapers, wipes, change of clothes, bottles, binkies, bibs.
Georgie: And we got your boobs, so we're set on food.
Mandy: Okay, please don't bring my boobs up when we're at my parents' house.
Georgie: Well, what if it comes up naturally?
Mandy: It won't.

Mary: And please look after Sheldon and I as we travel to Germany.
Sheldon: "Sheldon and me".
Mary: [sighs] God doesn't care about grammar.
Sheldon: You're not gonna be on a ten-hour flight with God.
Georgie: I bet it's gonna feel longer than ten.

Sheldon: When we get there, you'll be looking for "international departures".
George: Ah, well, thanks for letting me know that Germany's in a different country.
Sheldon: Is he joking? I'd like to believe he's joking.
Mary: He's joking, Sheldon.
Sheldon: He's a football coach. I don't know what he knows.