Darren: Get him something to throw up in. Oscar grabs a bowl] No, not the Skittles.
Oscar: Here, here.
Darren: Here.
Sheldon: Next door there's an emergency Alka-Seltzer tablet in my bathroom medicine chest.
Oscar: You have a bathroom?
Abby: Why does he get a bathroom?
Darren: Go throw up in your own bathroom.

Darren: Any chance you play Dungeons and Dragons?
Sheldon: And how. I once created a campaign set in 1940s London where Alan Turing was a character, and I had the mathematicians be magic users with theorems instead of spells. The intelligence officers were clerics...
Darren: "Yes" works. We're playing tonight and we're down a magic user. You in?
Sheldon: When are you playing?
Darren: We start at 7:00. We'll go till whenever.
Sheldon: My mom didn't let me stay past 6:00 yesterday. She'll never let me stay till "whenever."
Darren: Bummer.
Sheldon: Mm. You could play at my house.
Darren: No.
Sheldon: Bummer. I've never said that before. Did it sound cool?
Darren: No.
Sheldon: Bummer.

Sheldon: I don't know. I don't think I should.
Oscar: It's just root beer.
Sheldon: This late in the evening, my mother wouldn't approve.
Oscar: Okay.
Sheldon: Then again, I didn't think they'd let me stay, and they did, so maybe it's fine.
Oscar: I know, why don't you roll for it?
Sheldon: Ooh, good idea. Seventeen. Guess I'll have it.
Darren: We playing?
Sheldon: Hold on. Do you have a coaster?
Darren: Yeah, it's in the china cabinet.
Sheldon: And where would that be?

Oscar: Watch out for the CyberToad.
Sheldon: What's a CyberToad?
Darren: The evil little robot frogs. Although they're only known as CyberToads in the west. In Japan they're known as...
Oscar: MechaGamas.
Darren: Can I finish my own thoughts, please?
Oscar: He's very sensitive.
Sheldon: I'm protective of my fun facts, too.

Oscar: I'm hungry. You wanna order something?
Darren: Chinese?
Oscar: Little man, you want Chinese?
Sheldon: I don't know. I've never had Chinese food.
Oscar: Really?
Darren: We get it, like, two, three times a week.
Sheldon: Chinese food three times a week? That seems excessive.
Darren: How have you never had an egg roll?

Oscar: So, how old are you?
Sheldon: Twelve.
Oscar: Damn.
Darren: And they let you live here by yourself?
Sheldon: That room's just for during the day to study.
Oscar: Didn't I see some lady in there?
Sheldon: That must've been my mom.
Oscar: Dude, his mom is hot.
Darren: What is wrong with you? Don't listen to him. He thinks any female with a pulse is hot.
Oscar: I don't think your mom is hot.
Darren: Congratulations, you're more mature than him.
Sheldon: Don't feel bad. I'm more mature than most people.

Sheldon: I'm trying to study, and your loud music is very distracting.
Oscar: You mean the game?
Sheldon: "The game"? I'm not up on today's one-named pop stars.
Oscar: No. It's a video game.
Sheldon: You have video games?
Oscar: A bunch. You play?
Sheldon: My meemaw and I beat Quest of Adeera.
Oscar: Dude, this kid beat Adeera.
Darren: Well, tell him to come in.

Oscar: Uh, who are you?
Sheldon: I'm in the room next door.
Oscar: Oh, you're that smart kid.
Darren: Who is it?
Oscar: That smart kid.
Darren: Tell him to come in.
Oscar: Want to come in?
Sheldon: No, I'm here to complain.
Oscar: He's here to complain.
Darren: Then don't let him in.
Oscar: You can't come in.

Adult Sheldon: I was normally a rule follower, but one of the rules of spring break is to cut loose and break rules.
Sheldon: I'm heading out.
Mary: Where you going?
Sheldon: To see my comic book friends.
George Sr.: Hmm. I'm leaving in a few. You want a ride?
Sheldon: No, I'm taking my bike.
Adult Sheldon: All the way to the bus station. [Sheldon smirks]
George Sr.: Something funny?
Sheldon: Not funny. Just normal.
Adult Sheldon: Smooth.
Sheldon: Bye.
Adult Sheldon: So smooth.

Nathan: So how do you know Dr. Smith over there?
Sheldon: That's not Dr. Smith, that's Mr. Givens. He was my high school science teacher.
Nathan: Oh. Well, he's dressed as Dr. Smith from Lost in Space.
Sheldon: Oh, I've never seen it.
Nathan: Yeah, well, you're not missing much. It was a lame kids' show.
Mr. Givens: I'm sorry, "lame kids' show"? For your information, Star Trek wouldn't exist without Lost in Space. [all oohing]
Nathan: Yeah, well, at least Star Trek didn't have to steal its robot from Forbidden Planet. [all oohing]
Sheldon: I take it from their reaction that was a good dig?
Nathan: Solid.
Sheldon: Nice job.

Sheldon: Okay, I enjoy Mr. Data, but he's clearly just a Spock rip-off. [all murmuring]
Nathan: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Data wants to be more human, Spock wants to be less human. How is that the same?
All: Yeah!
Sheldon: Well, I think we can all agree that William Shatner is the better actor. [others murmuring in agreement]
Nathan: Patrick Stewart is classically trained. He's a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Sheldon: He's too subtle. When William Shatner plays an emotion, my shoe can tell what it is. [murmuring, laughter]
Mr. Givens: Well, if you like big acting, [with accent]: have I got a show for you, dear boy. [silence]
Nathan: And Kirk is a terrible captain. He always puts the ship in danger. Picard would never do that.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess Picard never got assimilated by the Borg.
All: Oh, yeah.
Adult Sheldon: Our verbal fisticuffs may have seemed unfriendly, but the truth is, we were engaged in a glorious tribal dance, like the revelers at Daytona Beach.
Nathan: I will admit, Wesley Crusher is the worst.
Sheldon: Now you're knocking Wil Wheaton. He's the best part of the show.
Nathan: He's an annoying know-it-all.
Sheldon: [scoffs] Yeah, that's what makes him lovable.

Announcer: [on TV] Attention, science fiction and comic book fans, this Friday, Saturday and Sunday in Ballroom B of the Texarkana Holiday Inn, it's Texarkana-Con! That's right, Texarkana...
Captain Kirk: [on TV] Khan!
Announcer: Celebrity appearances, panel discussions, autograph alley, only at Texarkana...
Captain Kirk: Khan!
Announcer: Raffles, prizes, costume parade, Friday through Sunday at Texarkana...
Captain Kirk: Khan!
Announcer: William Shatner not appearing.
Sheldon: William Shatner may not be appearing, but Sheldon Cooper is.

Sheldon: [on the phone] And since we're both on spring break, I thought you might like to go with me.
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, I am the president of the university.
Sheldon: You're right. I should've asked you first. So is that a "yes"?
President Hagemeyer: No!

Sheldon: Would you like to go with me to a comic book convention?
George Jr.: Will there be girls there?
[Sheldon turns around and walks away without saying a word]

Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

Nathan: You going?
Sheldon: I'd like to. Are you?
Nathan: Yeah. I quit my job for the time off.
Sheldon: Wow.
Nathan: Well, my job search.
Sheldon: Hmm.
Nathan: You know, it hasn't been announced yet, but I hear there's a special guest appearance by David Gerrold.
Sheldon: He wrote the Star Trek episode "Trouble with Tribbles."
Nathan: Uh, no doy.
Sheldon: I just found my spring break.
Nathan: I'm not really looking for a job. I don't know why I lied.

Mary: I'm not buying it. I'm thinking about selling it.
George Sr.: You?
Mary: Yes, me. Wouldn't hurt to have extra money.
Sheldon: But you already have two jobs... church and mom.
Mary: Well, that second one doesn't pay much.
Sheldon: I do your taxes. The first one doesn't either.

Sheldon: 22 minutes. This has to be a record.

Pastor Rob: Gentlemen. How are we tonight?
Billy Sparks: [whispers] Be cool.
Pastor Rob: Y'all wouldn't be planning on throwing any water balloons at the girls later?
Billy Sparks: No, sir.
[Pastor Rob picks up Billy's backpack and removes a water balloon]
Pastor Rob: Nice try.
Billy Sparks: How did he know?
Sheldon: Maybe God told him.

Sheldon: I'm neither holding hands nor praying. I don't even know why I walked over here.
Pastor Rob: Heavenly Father, may this evening bring us closer to you. Keep us safe and, most importantly, Heavenly Father, help us rock this night of fellowship. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
All: Amen.
Pastor Rob: I don't think he heard you.
All: Amen!
Sheldon: He can't hear you because he's not real.
Pastor Rob: One more time for Sheldon, y'all. [Sheldon covers his ears]
All: Amen!