Nathan: You going?
Sheldon: I'd like to. Are you?
Nathan: Yeah. I quit my job for the time off.
Sheldon: Wow.
Nathan: Well, my job search.
Sheldon: Hmm.
Nathan: You know, it hasn't been announced yet, but I hear there's a special guest appearance by David Gerrold.
Sheldon: He wrote the Star Trek episode "Trouble with Tribbles."
Nathan: Uh, no doy.
Sheldon: I just found my spring break.
Nathan: I'm not really looking for a job. I don't know why I lied.

Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

George: Sales is a tough racket, Mare.
Georgie: Yeah. It ain't as easy as I make it look.
Mary: Well, I think I'd be good at it.
Georgie: You sure? Sometimes you got to do a little fibbin'.
Mary: I would do it without that.
Georgie: And you got to have people skills.
Mary: I have people skills.
Georgie: Do you?
Mary: I'd like to throw my dinner roll at your head right now, but you don't see me doing it.

Mary: I'm not buying it. I'm thinking about selling it.
George: You?
Mary: Yes, me. Wouldn't hurt to have extra money.
Sheldon: But you already have two jobs... church and mom.
Mary: Well, that second one doesn't pay much.
Sheldon: I do your taxes. The first one doesn't either.