Sheldon: Okay, I enjoy Mr. Data, but he's clearly just a Spock rip-off. [all murmuring]
Nathan: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Data wants to be more human, Spock wants to be less human. How is that the same?
All: Yeah!
Sheldon: Well, I think we can all agree that William Shatner is the better actor. [others murmuring in agreement]
Nathan: Patrick Stewart is classically trained. He's a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Sheldon: He's too subtle. When William Shatner plays an emotion, my shoe can tell what it is. [murmuring, laughter]
Mr. Givens: Well, if you like big acting, [with accent]: have I got a show for you, dear boy. [silence]
Nathan: And Kirk is a terrible captain. He always puts the ship in danger. Picard would never do that.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess Picard never got assimilated by the Borg.
All: Oh, yeah.
Adult Sheldon: Our verbal fisticuffs may have seemed unfriendly, but the truth is, we were engaged in a glorious tribal dance, like the revelers at Daytona Beach.
Nathan: I will admit, Wesley Crusher is the worst.
Sheldon: Now you're knocking Wil Wheaton. He's the best part of the show.
Nathan: He's an annoying know-it-all.
Sheldon: [scoffs] Yeah, that's what makes him lovable.

Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

George Sr.: Sales is a tough racket, Mare.
George Jr.: Yeah. It ain't as easy as I make it look.
Mary: Well, I think I'd be good at it.
George Jr.: You sure? Sometimes you got to do a little fibbin'.
Mary: I would do it without that.
George Jr.: And you got to have people skills.
Mary: I have people skills.
George Jr.: Do you?
Mary: I'd like to throw my dinner roll at your head right now, but you don't see me doing it.

Mary: I'm not buying it. I'm thinking about selling it.
George Sr.: You?
Mary: Yes, me. Wouldn't hurt to have extra money.
Sheldon: But you already have two jobs... church and mom.
Mary: Well, that second one doesn't pay much.
Sheldon: I do your taxes. The first one doesn't either.