Meemaw: Oh, Moon Pie, I've got a little treat for you.
Sheldon: Chocolate chip?
Meemaw: Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.
Sheldon: Good. That means they're sterile.

Missy: How come you're not eating your snack?
Sheldon: I prefer my snack to be a reward for homework well done.
Missy: You're like an old person.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Sheldon: Hello.
Libby: Hello.
Sheldon: My name is Sheldon.
Libby: Yeah, you're Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: You know who I am?
Libby: Well, there's only one nine-year-old in high school, and you still have your baby teeth.
Sheldon: [to Tam] She knows who I am. It's going well.

Tam: [to Libby] I don't know what's more beautiful, your mind or your eyes.
Sheldon: Tam, please. We're eating.

Sheldon: Thank you.
Libby: Happy to help.
Sheldon: Is there any chance you'd be available to stand guard at 1:45?
Libby: You have a bathroom schedule?
Sheldon: You don't?

Mary: All right, I'll make a deal with you.
Sheldon: I'm listening.
Mary: You can go to Houston with your friends, but I want to meet this girl first.
Sheldon: That's very reasonable. Thank you.
Mary: You're welcome.
Sheldon: Now, can you please reach the dryer sheets? I get vertigo on the step stool.

George: Sheldon, listen, I know losing ain't easy. I deal with it on the football field all the time. It's like that big game we had last year against Nacogdoches. We were down 28 points at the half. It was raining, it was muddy. Everybody in the stands had gone home. But somehow, we managed to claw our way back to a tie with a minute left. And then, they threw a Hail Mary, and the receiver stepped out of bounds, but the ref didn't see it. After all that, we lose on a bad call. Believe me, I was furious. But I sucked it up, and I walked across that field and I shook their hands.
Sheldon: I didn't hear a word you said.
George: Okay.

Mr. Givens: So while an animal cell has a membrane, a plant cell has a membrane and a cell wall.
Sheldon: Who cares?
Mr. Givens: Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: Being disrespectful, sir.

Dr. Goetsch: Okay. Uh, you two, make yourselves comfortable. Me and my main man Sheldon are gonna go have a little chitchat in my office.
Sheldon: I don't like chitchat, and I'm not your main man.

Sheldon: Wow. You're famous.
Mr. Lundy: Well, I And I was Carbucketty in the Dallas-Fort Worth Players production of Cats. [PURRS] [LAUGHS] Did you see that?
Sheldon: No, I'm afraid of cats.
Mr. Lundy: Well, you realize the cats are just the actors.
Sheldon: I still wouldn't risk it.
Mr. Lundy: You're an odd boy, but you make it work.

Mr. Lundy: Anyway, uh, auditions are next week. You're welcome to come on by.
Sheldon: Excellent. I checked out a book on acting so I should have the hang of it by then.
Mr. Lundy: Well, I like that confidence.
Sheldon: Thank you. Most people find it off-putting.
Mr. Lundy: I can see that.

Sheldon: Why are they all singing?
Meemaw: Because it's a musical.
Sheldon: But why can't they just say it?
Meemaw: Well, that wouldn't be very musical, would it?
Sheldon: And where is the music coming from?
Missy: You're thinking about it too much.
Sheldon: And how do they all know the same dance?
Missy: Come on!
Meemaw: Moon pie!

Georgie: What are you looking for?
Sheldon: A brooch.
Georgie: What's a brooch?
Sheldon: It's a piece of jewelry. In my acting book, there's an exercise where you look for a missing brooch in a convincing way.
Georgie: Why?
Sheldon: According to the story, it was given to me by a friend so I could afford to stay in drama school, but now it's gone.
Georgie: Well, good luck finding it.
Sheldon: Thanks. Wait. You really believed I was looking for something? I did it. I'm an actor.
Georgie: You're a freak.
Sheldon: Oh, where the heck is that brooch?

Mr. Lundy: All right, Mr. Cooper. The stage is yours.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'd like to begin with a monologue from King Lear. [looking at Mr. Lundy]
Mr. Lundy: What?
Sheldon: I believe you're supposed to say "break a leg."
Mr. Lundy: Sorry. Break a leg.

Sheldon: Poor naked wretches, whereso'er you are, that bide the pelting of this pitiless storm.
How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides, your looped and windowed raggedness defend you from seasons such as these? Oh, I've ta'en too little care of this. Take physic, pomp. Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel, that thou may shake the superflux to them and show the heavens more just.
Mr. Lundy: Holy mackerel.