Ms. Ingram: I mean, why'd I bother becoming a teacher? He knows what I'm gonna say before I say it. Or I say it and look like a dumbbell.

George Sr.: So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
Ms. Ingram: Mm-mm, not a one.
Ms. MacElroy: Nope.
George Sr.: But I bring him here, I take him home he's got to be somewhere in the building.
Ms. Ingram: Mm, I might've seen him in the library. But at this point, I sometimes think I see him when I'm alone in my house.
Ms. MacElroy: Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] Exactly!

[on the "Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College" tape:]
Ms. Ingram: Honestly... teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I don't say that because he can be a pain. I say that because he's so intelligent, I had to study every night just to keep up. I'm gonna miss him.

Sheldon: Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yes.
Sheldon: The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book?
Ms. Ingram: And why is that your business?
Sheldon: I just assumed you were looking to make a friend.
Ms. Ingram: Oh, well, that was a long time ago. I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship.
Sheldon: With a friend?
Ms. Ingram: Friend. Ha! I gave that man three years of my life and my innocence.
Sheldon: I don't know what that means.
Ms. Ingram: It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing-
Sheldon: Well, that's not the dictionary definition.
Ms. Ingram: Mm-hmm. Always starts the same. A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, lunch at Stuckey's. [LAUGHS] Oh, yeah, it's all romance and flowers in the beginning

Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like the other day, I told him, "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
Coach Wilkins: What's a framastan?
Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up. He was gone the whole period.
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] I'm using that.
Ms. MacElroy: Don't use framastan. That's mine.

Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
George Jr.: Hey, I got plans of my own.
Meemaw: Do tell.
George Jr.: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
Meemaw: That is hilarious.
George Jr.: What? I'm good-lookin'.
Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
Missy: The model thing was funny, too.

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, even as a small child, people cherished having me around and wept over my absence.