George Sr.: What are y'all up to?
Sheldon: Just helping Mom with some church work.
George Sr.: Well, aren't you two great kids.
Missy: We like to think so.

Mary: So good news. We're gonna have a houseguest for a couple days.
George Jr.: Oh, not Aunt Ruth.
Sheldon: Her beard is very scratchy.
George Sr.: My sister doesn't have a beard.
Missy: Did she shave it?

Sheldon: Why is she staying with us?
Mary: Because she needs to be out of her house for a few days.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Because her family is dealing with some personal business.
Sheldon: What personal business?
Missy: Well I heard her mama's boyfriend is a drunk.
George Sr.: Where did you hear that?
Missy: Mom told you outside and I heard it.

Sheldon: He's exhibiting Zahavian signaling theory.
Missy: Is that from Star Trek?
Sheldon: No, biology. He's trying to communicate his more desirable qualities in order to attract Veronica.
Missy: Too bad he doesn't have any desirable qualities.

Missy: You're so tall and pretty, you should be Vanna White.
George Jr.: How can she be Vanna White? Vanna White is Vanna White.
Missy: Fine. She can be Vanna Blue.

George Jr.: Uh, maybe when you're done, we can go down to the mall and hang out.
Veronica: Oh, I promised your sister I'd take her out for some girl time.
George Jr.: Maybe I can come along.
Veronica: Then it wouldn't be girl time.
George Jr.: No, not entirely, but it would be mostly.
Missy: Take a hint, dummy.

Veronica: Sorry, I know this isn't the most fun thing in the world.
Missy: I was happy just riding in the front seat of your car.

Missy: Maybe, if we make a wish at the same time we could switch places.
Veronica: You think?
Missy: It's worth a try.
Veronica: Okay. What do we need to do?
Missy: We close our eyes and at the exact same time say, "I wish I could switch places."
Veronica: Ready? One, two, three.
Both: I wish I could switch places. Well?
Missy: I'm still here. You?
Veronica: Same.
Missy: That's too bad. I really wanted to drive home. Can I anyway?
Veronica: Sure.
Missy: Really?
Veronica: No.

Missy: Please, can we keep her?
Mary: No, we cannot keep her.
Missy: We don't have a dog 'cause of Sheldon, why can't I have Veronica?
Mary: I'm not participating in this conversation.
Missy: We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom. Like a trade.

Sheldon: Well, it's not fair. It's a school. Education should be their priority.
George Sr.: All right, I'll explain it again-
Meemaw: I think Shelly's got a point. The school is supposed to prepare these kids for the future. How many of 'em are gonna be professional football players?
Missy: No one at this table.

Sheldon: Guess what. I'm running for class president.
Mary: Good for you.
Missy: You're encouraging him? He's gonna get destroyed.
Mary: You don't know that.
Missy: I feel like I do.
Mary: Well, whether you win or not, I think it's great that you're trying.
Sheldon: But you think I'll win, right?
Missy: God's listening, Mom.

Mary: I think it's certainly possible. Do you have a campaign strategy?
Sheldon: No.
Mary: Do you have a catchy slogan?
Sheldon: No.
Missy: Does he have a shot at winning? No.

Missy: Oh, yeah. You're screwed.
Sheldon: Which is why I need your help.
Missy: Why me?
Sheldon: You're ruthless. I've seen you cheat at Candy Land.
Missy: Thanks. Go on.

Sheldon: Well, I'd like to retaliate, but I don't know anything about her.
Missy: Make something up. Ooh, tell people she has head lice.
Sheldon: I won't resort to lying.

Missy: Hey, I spoke to Nell's sister. Found out some interesting stuff.
Sheldon: Thanks, but I've decided I don't want to stoop to her level. If I can't win on the quality of my ideas, then I'd rather lose with my head held high.
Missy: That's really stupid, but in case you change your mind.

Sheldon: At least Dad's on my side.
Missy: Doesn't matter. Mom's gonna win. She always does.
Sheldon: But I have to leave for college at some point.
Missy: If you went to college, you know what would happen?
Sheldon: I'd enjoy higher learning?
Missy: You would die. You would curl up on the floor and die.

Mary: Sheldon! Come back in here!
Sheldon: I guess we'll find out what happened.
Missy: I already know what happened. Mom won.

Sheldon: They're still discussing.
Missy: Mom didn't win?
Sheldon: It's touch and go.
Missy: Crazy.

Sheldon: Did you know Einstein loved playing the violin?
Missy: So?
Sheldon: He believed music helped him formulate his theories.
Missy: So?
Sheldon: Einstein was arguably the greatest scientific mind of the 20th century. If music helped him, maybe it could help me.
Missy: So?

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: What does it look like?
Missy: Like you're looking for another excuse for kids to pick on you.