Mary: Dot, dot, dot.
George Sr.: Uh, "S."
Meemaw: Got it.
Mary: Dot.
George Sr.: "E."
Meemaw: All right.
Mary: Another dot, dot, dot.
George Sr.: Uh, "S" again.
Meemaw: Okay.
Mary: What do we have so far?
Meemaw: "I am taking a bus. Fun fact about buses"
George Sr.: You got to be kidding me.
Mary: Oh, Lord.
Missy: Come on!

Missy: Does he really think these facts are fun?
Mary: Not now.

Meemaw: I've got it. He's headed to Rusk. He's going to the hospital to see John.
George Sr.: I'll call the police.
Mary: Hurry!
Missy: Is Sheldon going to jail?
Mary: No!
Missy: Damn it.

George Sr.: Sheldon, go to your room.
Sheldon: Gladly.
Missy: He's just gonna read in there. I'd take away Professor Proton.
George Sr.: Stay out of this. ... [yelling] No more Professor Proton!
Sheldon: Aw.
Missy: That's how you do it.

Missy: If Mom knew this was in the house, she'd lose her mind.
George Jr.: I know. Mom does not like demons.
Missy: So, how does it work?
George Jr.: You put your fingertips on it like this, and you ask it questions. Then the spirits from beyond will move you around the board and answer them.
Missy: Whoa.
George Jr.: Let's try it.
Missy: Okay. [hesitating] Pastor Jeff talked about these in Sunday school. He called them Satan's Monopoly board.

Missy: [answering phone] Hello? [to Georgie] It's Pastor Jeff. What do I do?
George Jr.: See what he wants.
Missy: What do you want?
Pastor Jeff: Um, is your mom home?
Missy: No, she went out with my dad. It's just me and Georgie.
Pastor Jeff: Oh. Okay. Well, I hope you two are behaving yourselves.
Missy: We are. We're just watching TV. Okay, bye. [to Georgie] I just lied to a pastor.
George Jr.: So?
Missy: So I'm going to hell!

George Sr.: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George Sr.: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Adult Sheldon: I've always felt the world of subatomic particles would make an excellent video game. Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain, I've been playing it for years.
Sheldon: You cheeky little muon, you know you don't belong there.
[As Mary turns to missy]
Missy: Don't look at me. He's your kid.

Missy: And the turtle eating the pizza is Leonardo.
George Sr.: How can you tell?
Missy: He's wearing blue. And he's the hot one.

[As George, Sheldon and Missy look up at the roof]
George Sr.: Georgie, get out here! Got a chore for you!
Missy: Good call. You have no business up there.

Missy: You know what I like about you, Sheldon? You're incredibly smart, but you're also really dumb.
Sheldon: Why would you say that?
Missy: You think people are gonna come here to hang out with you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: To hear about science?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: On the radio?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: At 5:00 in the morning?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: And you're asking me why you're dumb?
Sheldon: Well, I happen to have a little more faith in the curiosity of my fellows.
Missy: See, you sound smart, but you're still dumb.

Sheldon: I bet you don't even know the first thing about Sweden.
Missy: Well, you're wrong, it's where those little meatballs come from. And that chef on The Muppets. That's two things. Oh, and it's in Canada. That's three.

George Sr.: Well, look at that, there's boobies on my TV.
Missy: Ooh!
George Sr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling Mom!

Mary: I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner.
Missy: That's fine.
Mary: I was talking to your father.

George Sr.: What's the occasion?
Mary: No occasion, just thought it'd be nice.
George Sr.: His wife coming, too?
Mary: No. Just him.
George Sr.: They having problems?
Mary: He's just coming to dinner. That's all.
Missy: You two having problems?
George Sr.: Are we?
Mary: No.
Missy: Pastor Jeff's wife is so much prettier than him. It's like Barbie married a turtle.

Missy: Dang, this place is nice.
Meemaw: That's because it was supposed to be a date.
Missy: Cool. My first date.

Missy: "Steak aw poyverwith fritties"?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's French.
Missy: Oh. What's a crock monster?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's croque monsieur, and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham.
Missy: I want that.

Missy: Weird. You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry.

Sheldon: Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up for a thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. And of course, I don't need to remind you, it's entirely tax deductible. [Missy whispers in Sheldon's ear] And at the next pancake breakfast, you can hold your head high. Thank you.
That's very generous. Goodbye. [hangs up phone] The pancake line closed it.
Missy: We are so going to heaven.

Missy: Tell you what, Jody. Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, and see how much is in his wallet? Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God.