Sheldon: Dad!
George: I'll make it $40! Keep going!

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Sheldon: Before we start, I'd like to get a sense - of how much algebra you know.
Georgie: 'Kay.
Sheldon: Do you understand solving and graphing - linear inequalities?
Georgie: Sure.
Sheldon: Great. Explain it to me.
Georgie: Uh, first you solve 'em and then you graph 'em.
Sheldon: And how do you do that?
Georgie: Uh, you know, carefully.

Georgie: Oh, relax. By passing that test, I get to play football, and you get to go to the train store. Everybody wins.
Sheldon: But what about the truth?
Georgie: What about it?
Sheldon: It's supposed to set us free.
Georgie: Who told you that?
Sheldon: The Bible.
Georgie: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
Sheldon: When it helps me win an argument.
Georgie: The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother. And if you open your mouth, you're gonna make them sad.