Adult Sheldon: In an effort to find out the mistake in his experimental design, Dr. Linkletter performed his own experiment on me.
[title: "Reverse Psychology"]
Dr. Linkletter: You know, Sheldon, I don't even care if you tell me the error. In fact, I'd rather you keep it to yourself.
Sheldon: All right.
Dr. Linkletter: [quietly] Yeah.
[title: "Bribery"]
Dr. Linkletter: I got you a little something for all your hard work. It's about a little boy who doesn't let being dead stop him from having fun.
Sheldon: Thanks.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Now that I've given you something, perhaps you want to reciprocate.
Sheldon: Sure. You can have this. I don't want it.
[title: "Disorentation", George Sr. is woken up by a phone call in the middle of the night]
George Sr.: [answers phone] Hello?
Dr. Linkletter: Uh, may I speak with Sheldon?
George Sr.: It's the middle of the night. Who the hell is this?
Dr. Linkletter: Uh, wrong number. [dial tone]

Dr. Linkletter: Professor Ericson, I insist that you speak to this young man and explain to him that reality is real, and it's possible to know things as fact.
Professor Ericson: The class is called "Introduction to Philosophy." That's what I did.
Meemaw: Well, un-introduce him.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes, he's at this school 'cause of his brilliant scientific mind, and he spent my last class talking about processed cheese.
Meemaw: Sheldon, is that true?
Sheldon: Nothing's true.
Dr. Linkletter: You see what you've done? You broke him.

Mary: [on the phone] Dr. Linkletter, what can I do for you?
Dr. Linkletter: Hello, Mrs. Cooper. I just wanted to let you know, with Dr. Sturgis away, I'll be available should Sheldon need anything.
Mary: Oh, that is very comforting to know. Thank you so much.
Dr. Linkletter: His well-being is important to me, as was made abundantly clear by my boss.
Mary: Okay, well, we are truly grateful.
Dr. Linkletter: Now, I'm not terribly experienced around children. If he needs to use the restroom, I don't have to go in with him, do I?

Sheldon: [on the phone] Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work and is using it in his own paper.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, that's quite the allegation.
Sheldon: It's not an allegation; it's a fact. He was getting enormous masses for his neutrinos, and I showed him how to fix it, but now he's refusing to list me as a coauthor.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I think he has a point.
Sheldon: Is the "he" in that sentence me? Because that is a strange way to phrase it.
Dr. Linkletter: No, the "he" is him. I don't play games with sentence structure.

Dr. Linkletter: [answers phone] Grant Linkletter.
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper. I need your help reporting an academic crime.
Dr. Linkletter: Sounds serious.
Sheldon: It is. That's why I'm using my serious voice.
Dr. Linkletter: Then I'll use mine as well. [deeper] What's going on?

Dr. Linkletter: We don't need open strings. We just connect them to a D-brane.
Sheldon: But your theories can't recreate the known symmetries of the real world.
Meemaw: Everything okay in here?
Sheldon: More than okay. We're having a spirited debate on superstring theory.
Dr. Linkletter: Very spirited.
Meemaw: Well, you ready to go home?
Sheldon: Yes. Unless Dr. Linkletter-
Dr. Linkletter: He's ready.
Meemaw: Well, I guess we'll see you next week.
Dr. Linkletter: Sounds good. No wonder Sturgis went crazy.

Dr. Linkletter: Hello?
Meemaw: Hi, Dr. Linkletter. It's Connie Tucker.
Dr. Linkletter: Connie. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Meemaw: I need a favor.
Dr. Linkletter: Of course. Anything. Should we discuss it over dinner?
Meemaw: I'll take a rain check on that. I was hoping that my grandson could join in your physics class until John is, uh back.
Dr. Linkletter: From the mental hospital?
Meemaw: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: The one he never told you he'd been in before?
Meemaw: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: A curious ethical choice on his part, if you ask me.
Meemaw: Can he take the class or not?
Dr. Linkletter: Of course. Although, I never taught a child before. Is he potty-trained?