Popular Quotes
Quote from the episode A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels
Mary: Why aren't you eating, Sheldon?
Sheldon: How can I with that horrible noise?
Mary: What noise?
Sheldon: That irritating, high-pitched buzz.
George Jr.: I don't hear nothin'.
George Sr.: Me, neither.
Sheldon: How can you not?
Missy: Wait. I think I hear it.
Sheldon: You do?
Missy: Yeah. It's coming out of your face.
Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius
Herschel Sparks: So, what's going on with your truck, other than the fact it's got 130,000 miles on it?
George Sr.: She's been running hot. I'm worried I need a new radiator.
Herschel Sparks: As your friend and neighbor, I hope not, but as a businessman, that'd be pretty sweet.
George Jr.: It could just be the thermostat not opening right.
Herschel Sparks: That is correct.
George Sr.: How'd you know that?
George Jr.: I took auto repair last year.
George Sr.: And you actually paid attention?
George Jr.: I'm as surprised as you are.
Quote from the episode Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon
Mary: Oh, you're selling his golf clubs, too?
Meemaw: Which one of your children do you see hanging out with Arnold Palmer in the future?
Quote from the episode A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels
Adult Sheldon: To say this first day was challenging would be an understatement. To say the rest of the week got better from there would be the kind of lie that sets pants on fire.
Quote from the episode A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels
Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon. You look sad.
Sheldon: I am.
Billy Sparks: Want an egg?
Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius
George Jr.: Herschel offered me a part-time job.
Mary: Really? Between that and football practice, when would you do your homework?
Missy: When does he do it?
Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius
Meemaw: Binoculars for his birthday. What was I thinking?
Quote from the episode A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron
Sheldon: How come you never mentioned she was coming to this class?
Dr. John Sturgis: I thought it would be a fun surprise.
Sheldon: I don't like surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Neither do I.
Sheldon: Then why did you do it?
Dr. John Sturgis: Some people like surprises.
Paige: I love surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you enjoy this one?
Paige: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: A 50% success rate. Not bad.
Quote from the episode A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron
Meemaw: Awful quiet back there.
Sheldon: I'm having an emotion I'm unfamiliar with.
Meemaw: Hmm. Think it might have something to do with your new classmate?
Sheldon: It's possible. She's the only variable in the social equation.
Meemaw: So what are you feeling?
Sheldon: My face is hot, I've a knot in my stomach, and I'm resisting the urge to kick your seat right now.
Meemaw: I'm thinking it might be jealousy.
Sheldon: No, that's not in my nature.
Meemaw: All right, let's go through all the emotions. I'm looking at your face, so I'm gonna rule out happy. Are you sad?
Sheldon: No, there's too much anger in there.
Meemaw: Oh, well, maybe you're angry.
Sheldon: No, there's too much sad in there.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Dale: Uh, you want to switch to light beer?
George Sr.: Hey. I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.
Quote from the episode An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom
Missy: Hey.
Mary: Hey, baby, where's Sheldon?
Missy: I don't know, he left.
Mary: He left? Where'd he go?
Missy: He wouldn't tell me, but he wrote it in this weird letter.
Mary: When did he leave?
Missy: An hour ago.
Mary: An hour?!
Missy: I told him not to go.
Quote from the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: (flicks Missy on the head) Hey!
Quote from the episode Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System
Mary: Okay, let's say grace. Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head.
Tam: I'm actually Catholic.
Mary: Oh! Well, that's too bad.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Missy: Sheldon, can you hear me? It's your twin sister, Missy. Everything's all right here, but I think Mom misses you real bad. All right, I can't hear you, so I'm gonna hang up now.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Sheldon: I've been thinking, and there's something I'd like to say.
George Sr.: Unless it's an apology, I don't want to hear it.
Sheldon: I'm quitting science.
Missy: Not an apology. Spank him, Dad.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Sheldon: [knocking] Missy?
Missy: What?
Sheldon: Sometimes I imagine that I'm an ion with a positive charge and they're an ion with a negative charge. It's so that whatever they say bounces off me and sticks to them.
Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage
Mary: Now, the thing you have to understand is Shelly is incredibly bright. I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein and that English wheelchair fella.
Quote from the episode Pilot
Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.
Quote from the episode Pilot
George Sr.: I got fired, Sheldon. And I got a bad reputation.
Quote from the episode A Stunted Childhood and a Can of Fancy Mixed Nuts
Paige: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Paige: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Chemistry homework for extra credit.
Paige: Cute, I did that last year.