Popular Quotes
Quote from the episode Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero
Sheldon: Oh dear, Big Bird.
Quote from the episode Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero
Mary: Missy?
Missy: I'm thankful that there's two different Ghostbuster cartoons.
Meemaw: That's it?
Missy: Unless you know about a third one.
Quote from the episode A Race of Superhumans and a Letter to Alf
George Sr.: Y-Your mom's at church. W-What do you want for dinner?
Sheldon: I believe you know what I want for dinner.
George Sr.: Is that right?
Sheldon: It's Thursday. What does Mom always make me on Thursdays?
George Sr.: Spaghetti and hot dogs?
Sheldon: [to the camera] Socrates. Got to love him.
Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
Missy: Where's your gallbladder? I want to see it.
Nurse Robinson: They throw it away, honey.
George Jr.: Why?
Missy: Aww.
Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
George Sr.: Hey. Don't talk about your brother like that.
George Jr.: Since when are you on his side?
Missy: Since Dad almost let him die.
Quote from the episode A Nuclear Reactor and a Boy Called Lovey
Missy: Mrs. Sparks' credit card got declined at Payless.
George Sr.: No kidding.
Missy: She went nuts. But you didn't hear it from me.
Quote from the episode David, Goliath and a Yoo-hoo from the Back
Missy: How old was Mom when you let her wear makeup?
Meemaw: I don't know, I didn't really have rules like that.
Missy: See? How come you're so cool and she's such a dud?
Meemaw: Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
Missy: What would you call her?
Meemaw: Point is, she wasn't always like that.
Missy: What was she like?
Meemaw: When she was a teenager, she was just wild.
Missy: Really?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. She used to wait until I went to sleep and then she would sneak out and get into trouble with her friends.
Missy: My mom?
Meemaw: Your mom. And then she would climb up the tree on the side of the house and sneak back in.
Missy: Amazing.
Meemaw: Is that how you're getting in?
Missy: I will never tell you that.
Quote from the episode A Math Emergency and Perky Palms
Mary: And then he said, "For the rest of the day, you're in charge."
George Sr.: Mm.
Mary: Those were his exact words. Can you believe it? "You're in charge."
George Sr.: Well, that's great.
Mary: And thanks to me, this year United Methodist is gonna get stuck with all the limp palms.
George Sr.: Well, I don't know what that means, but good for you.
Quote from the episode A Loaf of Bread and a Grand Old Flag
Mary: Sheldon, I didn't change anything. Can I get back to work now?
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Mary: Thank you. Bye.
Sheldon: Don't I get an "I love you"?
Mary: I love you.
Sheldon: One more time, with a little more energy. [dial tone] Must've been disconnected.
Quote from the episode Albert Einstein and the Story of Another Mary
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: What does it look like?
Missy: Like you're looking for another excuse for kids to pick on you.
Quote from the episode Albert Einstein and the Story of Another Mary
Sheldon: What are you doing?
Missy: I was gonna watch DuckTales, but this looks funnier.
Quote from the episode A Political Campaign and a Candy Land Cheater
Mary: I think it's certainly possible. Do you have a campaign strategy?
Sheldon: No.
Mary: Do you have a catchy slogan?
Sheldon: No.
Missy: Does he have a shot at winning? No.
Quote from the episode A Political Campaign and a Candy Land Cheater
Adult Sheldon: Another hurdle in my political career was glossophobia: fear of public speaking.
I've been known to experience dry mouth, perspiration, heart palpitations, and fainting. A similar response to what I experience around unleashed dogs.
Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
Missy: Dang, this place is nice.
Meemaw: That's because it was supposed to be a date.
Missy: Cool. My first date.
Quote from the episode A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast
Sheldon: Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize winners are going to be announced in Sweden, and we'll hear it as it's happening.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, 2.8 milliseconds later.
Sheldon: Sure, because of the propagation.
Quote from the episode A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast
Missy: You know what I like about you, Sheldon? You're incredibly smart, but you're also really dumb.
Sheldon: Why would you say that?
Missy: You think people are gonna come here to hang out with you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: To hear about science?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: On the radio?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: At 5:00 in the morning?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: And you're asking me why you're dumb?
Sheldon: Well, I happen to have a little more faith in the curiosity of my fellows.
Missy: See, you sound smart, but you're still dumb.
Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board
George Sr.: Sheldon, go to your room.
Sheldon: Gladly.
Missy: He's just gonna read in there. I'd take away Professor Proton.
George Sr.: Stay out of this. ... [yelling] No more Professor Proton!
Sheldon: Aw.
Missy: That's how you do it.
Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board
Mary: Hi, Pastor Jeff. Everything okay?
Pastor Jeff: I'm in trouble. Robin just got here. She looks nice, and she smells even nicer.
Mary: Come on, now. Uh, nothing smells better than eternal salvation.
Quote from the episode An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom
George Sr.: Uh, you order something from the Mountain View Candy Company?
George Jr.: Oh, yeah. Thanks.
George Sr.: The hell is it?
George Jr.: A big old box of candy. [closes his bedroom door]
Missy: [opens her bedroom door] What's all this about candy?
Quote from the episode An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom
Missy: "I knew you were going to open this the moment I left. To slow you down I've shrouded my destination in code." What a dork.