Mary: Did you hear that?
George: What?
Mary: Sounds like Georgie and Sheldon are getting along.
George: Really? That can't be right.
Mary: I just heard it.
George: Maybe there's hope for those two after all.
Mary: Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.

Sheldon: That's humorous, because Spock is half human and half Vulcan. But he's ashamed of his human side. That's why I identify with him.

George: Sheldon, do me a favor. Go help your brother study for his math test tomorrow.
Sheldon: Is that really a good use of my time?
George: Come on. I'm asking nice. If he doesn't pass, he won't be able to play football.
Sheldon: You realize he's often mean to me.
George: So? Your mother's mean to me. I still try to be helpful.

Sheldon: Does she break wind on your head? Because that's what Georgie does to me.

George: If Georgie passes his test, I'll get you whatever you want. Under 20 bucks.
Sheldon: Deal.
George: Why?
Meemaw: I guess I like him better than you.

Sheldon: Dad!
George: I'll make it $40! Keep going!

Sheldon: Ms. Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yeah, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm done.
Ms. Ingram: What?
Sheldon: I enjoyed it very much. I'll take another if you have one.
Ms. Ingram: No, I don't have another one. J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Sheldon: So, I guess I have to rethink my abilities. Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
Tam: Georgie didn't pass because of you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: He cheated. He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe.
Sheldon: He wouldn't do that. When you cheat in school, you only cheat yourself.
Tam: Where'd you get that?
Sheldon: An inspirational poster outside the boys' room.

Sheldon: You dirty bird.
Georgie: What are you doing in here?
Sheldon: You cheated.
Georgie: No, I didn't.
Sheldon: I'm holding the evidence.
Georgie: Let me see that. [SPITS] I don't see nothin'.
Sheldon: That's obstruction of justice, as well as disgusting.

Meemaw: Is that your new train?
Sheldon: Yes. It's my reward for helping Georgie pass the math test.
Meemaw: You don't seem too happy about it.
Sheldon: I don't feel like I earned it.
Meemaw: Why not?
Sheldon: Can you keep a secret?
Meemaw: Well, at my age, the question is can I remember one. Try me.

Georgie: What do you want?
Sheldon: It occurs to me you have something in common with Captain Kirk.
Georgie: We both have cool hair?
Sheldon: In order to succeed, you both play fast and loose with the rules.
Georgie: Yeah, I suppose we do.

Sheldon: When you cheated on the math test, what was your strategy?
Georgie: Well, I guess the most important part was not stepping on anything wet before the test. And not getting an "A."
Sheldon: Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
Georgie: 'Cause that would raise suspicions. Who would believe I got an "A"?
Sheldon: Wow. Tell me more.

Sheldon: So you'll have to find someone else to hold your ankles in P.E. today.
Tam: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I've suffered a terrible injury and won't be able to attend.
Tam: What happened?
Sheldon: See for yourself.
Tam: "Dear Coach Wilkins, please excuse my son, Sheldon, from P.E. He has experienced a testicular hernia, and needs to rest for the next six to eight weeks. Sincerely, Mary Cooper." Testicular hernia?
Sheldon: That's called details.

Coach Wilkins: Ooh, that's rough. Hmm. How'd it happen?
Sheldon: It's hard to say, but some risk factors include: heavy lifting, a chronic cough and repetitive straining during bowel movements.
Coach Wilkins: I've been there. Hmm. All right. Guess I'll see you in six to eight weeks.

Adult Sheldon: I don't know if other supervillains started their careers by getting out of P.E., but that's where I began.