Missy: You okay?
Paige: No.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Missy: [rolls eyes] What?
Sheldon: I'm going to have the mother of all blisters.
Missy: [sighs] [to Paige] I'm worried about you.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Paige: I'm having fun.
Missy: You're drunk and you were about to get in the car with some stranger.
Paige: So? He was cute.
Missy: What's wrong with you? You're smarter than Sheldon. Why don't you act like it?
Sheldon: Um...
Paige: I am.
Sheldon: If that was true, then how come my pizza's still in my stomach and yours is in the fountain?

Paige: [groans] What good is being smart if you're all alone?
Missy: Let's go to Sheldon's so I can get you cleaned up.
Paige: [groans softly] Thanks.
Missy: Just so you know, you're not alone. You've got me.
Sheldon: I thought we were trying to make her feel better.

Missy: [quietly] Okay, she's asleep. I put a trash can by the bed in case she gets sick.
Sheldon: Where am I supposed to sleep?
Missy: On the floor.
Sheldon: Why can't she sleep on the floor? She doesn't even know where she is.

Missy: But first, we have to get our story straight about where I was tonight.
Sheldon: There's only one story, and it's straight: you were here.
Missy: No, I wasn't. I was at Heather's, and you didn't see me. Got it?
Sheldon: First I have to sleep on the floor and now I have to lie for you?
Missy: How 'bout this? Work with me, and I will officially owe you one.
Sheldon: One what?
Missy: I don't know. One anything.
Sheldon: "Anything" is awfully vague. What say we draw up a contract or...

Sheldon: Meemaw, are you coming to my party?
Meemaw: I wouldn't miss it.
Mary: Oh, we're gonna leave at 4:00 if you want to ride with us.
Meemaw: No, I have to meet you there. I got a little business I have to take care of.
Sheldon: Oh, if you're getting me a gift, it's not that kind of party. Although I wouldn't say no to a TI-81 graphing calculator.

Sheldon: [answers phone] Hello?
Mandy: Sheldon, is Georgie there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Is your mom there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Are there any adults there?
Sheldon: No. But I have an IQ of 187. I'm sure I can figure out whatever's troubling you.
Mandy: My water broke. I'm in labor.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Sheldon: All right, let's do this.
Mandy: Why are you wearing dish gloves?
Sheldon: To deliver the baby.
Mandy: That is not happening.
Sheldon: Good. Whew. Can I get a glass of water?
Mandy: Sheldon, I need to go to the hospital.
Sheldon: Well, I can't drive. I do have a bike, but you'll never fit in the wagon.

Mandy: It's okay, I'll drive. Just come with me, okay?
Sheldon: Okay.
Mandy: Oh...
Sheldon: Does it hurt bad?
Mandy: Yes!
Sheldon: That's unfortunate. It's my understanding it's only gonna get worse.

Sheldon: Mrs. Sparks, I need your help.
Brenda Sparks: What's with the gloves?
Sheldon: So I don't get placenta on my hands.
Brenda Sparks: What? [Sheldon nods]

Sheldon: Shouldn't you be laying down?
Mandy: No, it's good to be on my feet. The doctor said this could take a while.
Sheldon: Could you be more specific? I have a thing at 5:00.

Sheldon: You know, in a way, you and I are having a very similar day.
Mandy: Really? How might that be?
Sheldon: I'm also bringing something new into the world. Although mine does not involve my privates being inspected my strangers.

Sheldon: You've been through this before. How long does it take?
Brenda Sparks: Depends. With Billy, it was days.
Sheldon: Well, he always has been a tad slow.

George Sr.: What about Mary? Ain't she at the bowling alley?
Brenda Sparks: No. Sh- She went out to lunch.
Sheldon: And speaking of lunch, we should get to my launch.
George Sr.: Sheldon, my granddaughter's about to be born. I-I'm not going anywhere.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sure Georgie will get more women pregnant. You'll have another chance.
George Sr.: Walk away.

Sheldon: Last chance. Who wants to witness science history? [everyone is silent] Don't be shy, folks.

Sheldon: Excuse me, does that computer have a modem?
Rhonda: A what?
Sheldon: A modem. It's how you access the World Wide Web.
Rhonda: The what?
Sheldon: It's when your computer wants to talk to another computer, and it goes... [imitates modem dialing]
Rhonda: You mean a fax machine.
Sheldon: It's like I'm from the future.

Sheldon: What are you doing out here?
George Jr.: I heard Mandy was having the baby.
Sheldon: Yes, but that happens inside.
George Jr.: I know.
Sheldon: Aren't you going in?
George Jr.: I can't.
Sheldon: Oh, these doors are automated. You just walk towards them and they open.
George Jr.: I can't be a dad. I couldn't even install a car seat.
Sheldon: Great. You can drive me to my launch party.

Sheldon: Thank you for doing this.
George Jr.: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: You know, you wait and you wait and you wait, and you think the day's never gonna come, and then pow, it's here.
George Jr.: I know.
Sheldon: Everyone thought I was too young, that I wouldn't see it through, but here I am. To think I almost missed it. I would have regretted that for the rest of my life. [Georgie turns the car around] Why are we turning around?

Mary: I'm gonna stay at my mom's house tonight.
George Sr.: Fine by me.
Sheldon: [enters] I just talked to Dr. Sturgis. We didn't get a single subscriber. My database is a complete failure. [Mary averts her watery eyes. George is looking down at the floor.] I know, I'm upset, too.

Sheldon: Careful, loud music is a sign of teen angst.
George Sr.: I'm aware.