Sheldon: When you are ready to laugh, I have got the movie for you. Bingo. It's for men, but I think you'll get it.

Sheldon: Hello.
Georgie: Sheldon, this is Mandy's brother, Connor.
Sheldon: Are you watching the game? Because I heard the Cowboys are going to go all the way this year.
Georgie: It's okay. He don't watch football either.
Sheldon: Great. I learned who Troy Aikman is for nothing.

Connor: Look how gritty this is. Frank Miller really brought a whole new aesthetic to comic books.
Sheldon: Hmm. I've never really thought of it that way.
Adult Sheldon: I was doing it. I was bonding.
Sheldon: Now, would you please put it back in the bag?
Connor: Oh. Sure.
Adult Sheldon: And I was great at it.

Bobby: [opens door] Yeah?
Sheldon: I'm here to talk to you about your music and your abysmal Morse code skills.
Bobby: What?
Sheldon: Four dots is just the letter "H." Was your message "Huh"?
Bobby: What?

Paige: Just leave me alone.
Sheldon: But what are you doing here?
Paige: I'm trying to have fun, and I don't want them to know how old I am.
Sheldon: Why?
Paige: Because I want them to think that I'm cool.
Sheldon: But you're smart. What's cooler than that?

Sheldon: Excuse me. I'm looking for my friend. Blonde girl, about a meter and a half.

Missy: [sighs] Now what do we do?
Sheldon: We can't just leave. Paige is still in there.
Mary: Maybe we should call Mom.
Sheldon: I do have four quarters for that exact reason.

Missy: Hurry!
Sheldon: This is as fast as I can go in sensible shoes.

Missy: You okay?
Paige: No.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Missy: [rolls eyes] What?
Sheldon: I'm going to have the mother of all blisters.
Missy: [sighs] [to Paige] I'm worried about you.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Paige: I'm having fun.
Missy: You're drunk and you were about to get in the car with some stranger.
Paige: So? He was cute.
Missy: What's wrong with you? You're smarter than Sheldon. Why don't you act like it?
Sheldon: Um...
Paige: I am.
Sheldon: If that was true, then how come my pizza's still in my stomach and yours is in the fountain?

Paige: [groans] What good is being smart if you're all alone?
Missy: Let's go to Sheldon's so I can get you cleaned up.
Paige: [groans softly] Thanks.
Missy: Just so you know, you're not alone. You've got me.
Sheldon: I thought we were trying to make her feel better.

Missy: But first, we have to get our story straight about where I was tonight.
Sheldon: There's only one story, and it's straight: you were here.
Missy: No, I wasn't. I was at Heather's, and you didn't see me. Got it?
Sheldon: First I have to sleep on the floor and now I have to lie for you?
Missy: How 'bout this? Work with me, and I will officially owe you one.
Sheldon: One what?
Missy: I don't know. One anything.
Sheldon: "Anything" is awfully vague. What say we draw up a contract or...

Sheldon: Meemaw, are you coming to my party?
Meemaw: I wouldn't miss it.
Mary: Oh, we're gonna leave at 4:00 if you want to ride with us.
Meemaw: No, I have to meet you there. I got a little business I have to take care of.
Sheldon: Oh, if you're getting me a gift, it's not that kind of party. Although I wouldn't say no to a TI-81 graphing calculator.

Sheldon: [answers phone] Hello?
Mandy: Sheldon, is Georgie there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Is your mom there?
Sheldon: No.
Mandy: Are there any adults there?
Sheldon: No. But I have an IQ of 187. I'm sure I can figure out whatever's troubling you.
Mandy: My water broke. I'm in labor.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Mandy: It's okay, I'll drive. Just come with me, okay?
Sheldon: Okay.
Mandy: Oh...
Sheldon: Does it hurt bad?
Mandy: Yes!
Sheldon: That's unfortunate. It's my understanding it's only gonna get worse.