Sheldon: Okay. Who's next?
Missy: Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
Sheldon: Of Mackenzie Chevrolet? Now those are what we call "deep pockets."

Pastor Jeff: For so many months, our little parish has been struggling financially. But by the grace of God and his provision, we have received the most donations in church history! Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
Sheldon: So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit?
Missy: We need to start our own church.
Sheldon: They don't pay taxes. It's a very sound business model.

Sheldon: Are you wearing cologne?
George Jr.: No.
Sheldon: Georgie, I have the olfactory senses of a polar bear. They can smell a seal through three feet of ice.

George Jr.: I also hung a cross over the bed for you. It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together in Sunday school when I was a kid. [Veronica starts crying] Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
Veronica: [SNIFFLES] No, it's it's really sweet.
Sheldon: Why are you crying? Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
Veronica: Uh, no.
Sheldon: Good. My mom said not to, so that you would be comfortable.
Veronica: Thank you.
Sheldon: [staring] Are you comfortable?

Sheldon: Mom?
Mary: Yes, honey?
Sheldon: Do I have to sit downwind of Georgie's cologne?

George Sr.: So, Veronica, I understand that you're a junior?
Veronica: Mm. Yes, sir.
Mary: Do you have any plans for after high school?
Veronica: I'm hoping for a scholarship to Baylor so I can get a teaching degree.
Mary: Mm.
Veronica: I like kids. [CHUCKLES]
Sheldon: Really? Kids? Ugh.

Sheldon: See? This is the kind of nonsense you have to deal with when you're around kids.
George Sr.: He does have a point.

Sheldon: [knock knock knock] Veronica. [knock knock knock] Veronica.
Veronica: Come in. Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
Sheldon: I printed out my bathroom schedule. I can't speak for anyone else in this family, but you can count on it being occupied during these times.
Veronica: Thank you. This is very helpful.
Sheldon: I know.

Veronica: Is there anything else?
Sheldon: There is, but I'm not allowed to ask about it.
Veronica: Oh, it's okay. You can ask me anything.
Sheldon: Oh, good. I don't like cats, but I share their curious nature.

Veronica: What do you want to know?
Sheldon: Your mom has a boyfriend.
Veronica: Yeah.
Sheldon: Where is your father?
Veronica: I don't know.
Sheldon: Why do you not know?
Veronica: Well, he left when I was really young and I never heard from him again.
Sheldon: And why are you staying here?
Veronica: My mom's boyfriend isn't very nice.
Sheldon: I understand. My sister isn't very nice.
Veronica: [CHUCKLES] So you get it?
Sheldon: I do, thank you.
Veronica: Okay, well, talk to you later.
Sheldon: But not between 7:00 and 7:12.
Veronica: Yup, I see it right here.

Sheldon: How was your anniversary date with Dr. Sturgis?
Meemaw: You knew about that?
Sheldon: Yes.
Meemaw: So you knew he was gonna propose?
Sheldon: Propose? No, that's wonderful. Although, it's a little disconcerting he didn't tell me. I thought we were closer than that.

Meemaw: But how many of 'em are gonna be scientists?
Sheldon: I know.

Principal Petersen: [screams]
Sheldon: [screams]
Principal Petersen: What are you doing, standing there?
Sheldon: I wrote a formal complaint letter to the school board on how much money is spent on football. I was hoping you could deliver it to them.
Principal Petersen: You do realize your father's a coach here.
Sheldon: Yes, sir, I do.
Principal Petersen: Maybe you ought to talk to him about this first.
Sheldon: I did. He didn't care for the idea at all.
Principal Petersen: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: There I go what?
Principal Petersen: Let me see that. "Barbaric sport encourages bloodlust similar to Roman gladiator games Christians, lions money better spent on science and learning." You're joking, right?
Sheldon: Did you see the word "bazinga" anywhere in that letter?
Principal Petersen: Out.

Sheldon: President Cooper. That's serendipitous.

Sheldon: Hello.
Ms. MacElroy: [screams]
Sheldon: [screams]
Ms. MacElroy: What?
Sheldon: I understand that you're in charge of student elections.
Ms. MacElroy: I am.
Sheldon: I'd like to run for class president.
Ms. MacElroy: Really?
Sheldon: Really.
Ms. MacElroy: Okay. You can sign up, but I have to warn you You'll be running against Nell Cavanaugh.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: She's well-liked by the student body.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: These elections tend to be a bit of a popularity contest.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: You're gonna make me say it, huh?
Sheldon: Say what?
Ms. MacElroy: People don't like you.
Sheldon: Well, as my meemaw likes to say, water off a duck's back. Elections shouldn't be about popularity. They should be about who has the best ideas.
Ms. MacElroy: And what's your idea?
Sheldon: Less money on football, more on science.
Ms. MacElroy: Really.

Sheldon: Hello, I'd like to speak to the mayor, please. My name is Sheldon Cooper. I'm running for class president and was hoping he could give me some advice. I'm ten years old. But if it helps get him on the phone, I'm well-behaved, a straight-A student, and have impeccable hygiene.

Mayor Harrison: Hello. This is Mayor Harrison. I understand you are running for office.
Sheldon: Class president. Do you have any advice on how to win?
Mayor Harrison: The most important thing is to get out there and connect with people.
Sheldon: That's tricky. I'm not terribly fond of people.
Mayor Harrison: Well, you might need to get over that.
Sheldon: Assuming I can, how do I connect with them?
Mayor Harrison: A friendly handshake is a great start.
Sheldon: Oh, boy. Now I have to touch them?

Sheldon: Greetings, fellow students. I'm running for class president. Here's a button. Have a grown-up put them on you. They're sharp.

Sheldon: Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and I'm running for class president.
Abby: Yeah?
Sheldon: I understand you had a baby last year. If you bring it in, I'll try to kiss it.

Sheldon: Vote Sheldon for class president. Don't worry It's a number two. You can use it on standardized tests.
Nell Cavanaugh: Okay.
Sheldon: And, of course, homework. I love homework.
Nell Cavanaugh: Well, it's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
Sheldon: My opponent. I would shake your hand, but my mom is washing my mittens.
Nell Cavanaugh: Okay.