Coach Wilkins: Darlene and I love to go line dancing.
George: Next.
Coach Wilkins: Let's see. There's the Roundabout.
George: What's that?
Coach Wilkins: It's a roller rink. They have cool lights and a DJ. It's like a disco.
George: So, when I said no to line dancing, you thought, "Let's put George on wheels."
Coach Wilkins: Ooh. Take her bowling.
[George pictures Brenda Sparks working at the bowling alley]
George: I don't want to take her bowling.

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: [o.s.] Did you like school?
Dale: Hated it. I quit and I joined the Army.
Georgie: [o.s.] How was that?
Dale: Less girls, more getting shot at.
Georgie: [enters] Well, at least you made it out alive.
Dale: Well, then I got married. Made me kind of miss getting shot at.
Georgie: Have you ever been happy?
Dale: Ooh, let's see. No.

Sheldon: But why are you wasting your time here when you could be doing science?
Dr. John Sturgis: I told you, I'm happy here.
Sheldon: How could you be happy? You have a doctorate in physics, and you're sticking labels to a case of beans.
Dr. John Sturgis: I had to work here a month before they let me use this thing. And yet, I could go buy a real gun on my lunch break. Ha! Texas, huh?
Sheldon: But don't you miss trying to unlock the secrets of the universe?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, I spent my life chasing theoreticals. Here, I have tangible accomplishments and I get to listen to relaxing Top 40 music. Do you know this band, Air Supply? They're terrific. [sings] ♫ I'm all out of love ♫ ♫ I'm so lost without you ♫ ♫ I know you were right ♫ ♫ Believing... ♫

Dr. Linkletter: So what do we do about it?
Dr. John Sturgis: We sing.
Dr. Linkletter: What do we sing?
Dr. John Sturgis: [sings] ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫ Who will take care of you? ♫ ♫ How will you get by? ♫ ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫
Dr. Linkletter: I don't think I know that one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hmm. Do you know "Lollipop"?