George Sr.: Everything okay?
Mary: I'm getting tired of being the bad guy around here.
George Sr.: You're not the bad guy. Kids need boundaries.
Mary: That is easy for you to say. I am the only one doing it, and then everyone resents me for it.
George Sr.: Hey, you're not the only one. Just today, Georgie and Sheldon were fighting, and I totally took care of it.
Mary: Really? What was going on?
George Sr.: They... You know, boy stuff. Don't worry. I got your back.
Mary: Thank you. That means a lot.
George Sr.: Teamwork, babe.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Tam: Look at this, my mother left me a note. "You can do better. Mom." Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom," just "Mom."

Sheldon: Good news, I just spoke to Tommy Clarkson.
George Jr.: What? Are you crazy?
Sheldon: Nope, Mom had me tested.

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. When you're done urinating, I'd like to ask you some questions about social dynamics, intimidation, threats, et cetera. Finish up, no hurry.