George: [on the phone] Hey, I'm here by myself. Why don't you come by?
Meemaw: I'm good.
George: What, you'd rather sit in the dark than hang out with me?
Meemaw: I got candles. I'm gonna get some takeout. I'm good.
George: Ooh. Well, I could come over. We could...
Meemaw: No. Bye. [hangs up]

Pastor Rob: Gentlemen. How are we tonight?
Billy Sparks: [whispers] Be cool.
Pastor Rob: Y'all wouldn't be planning on throwing any water balloons at the girls later?
Billy Sparks: No, sir.
[Pastor Rob picks up Billy's backpack and removes a water balloon]
Pastor Rob: Nice try.
Billy Sparks: How did he know?
Sheldon: Maybe God told him.

Mary: What'd you get?
Pastor Rob: Backpack full of water balloons.
Mary: Oh.
Pastor Rob: You?
Mary: Sassy magazine. [Peg laughs]
Pastor Rob: Uh-oh.
Peg: I found this Walkman.
Mary: Peg, they can have that.
Peg: Mine now.

Principal Petersen: Interesting bar, George.
George: Just wanted a change of pace.
Principal Petersen: Well, other than the noise and smell, you've picked a winner.
George: You want to go someplace else, we'll go someplace else.
Principal Petersen: No, I'm happy to stay here and bust your balls. I see they've even got a chili dog buffet, and just the sight of it makes me want to sit on a toilet.

Mandy: Before this goes any further, there's something I got to tell you.
Georgie: This is going further? Sweet.
Mandy: Listen to me. I wasn't completely honest about my age.
Georgie: You weren't?
Mandy: I'm actually... 29.
Georgie: No kidding.
Mandy: Yeah.
Georgie: Well, then, I guess there's something I should tell you. I'm totally fine with that.
Mandy: Great. [they kiss]

Brenda Sparks: Anyway, his name is Billy, and he's in sixth grade, so you're gonna be seeing him in three or four or five years. [Petersen laughs]
George: You met him at my house when we were playing poker.
Principal Petersen: The big kid. I love that kid.
George: Mm-hmm.
Brenda Sparks: Good. Remember that when he's failing homeroom.
Principal Petersen: Oh, don't worry about grades. He's gonna be a linebacker. Where you been hiding this one, George?
George: Haven't been hiding her.
Brenda Sparks: Well, not that easy to hide.
Principal Petersen: [chuckles] I'll get us another round. [whispers to George] Tell her how I make more money than you.

Mary: [o.s.] Sheldon? Where are you?
Pastor Rob: [o.s.] Sheldon?
Adult Sheldon: That night began my winning streak at sardines. Every lock-in, every birthday party, someone suggested we play, and I won every time.
Mary: Sheldon!
Adult Sheldon: I'm the king of sardines.

Pastor Jeff: Lock-in? I love it!
Pastor Rob: Look at that.
Mary: You always say no.
Pastor Jeff: That was before I had a baby in the house. I love him, but a night away sounds like magic.

Missy: I think she's asleep.
Billy Sparks: What if she's dead?
Peg: [snores]
Missy: [whispers] She's not dead.
Billy Sparks: She looks dead.
Peg: I'm not dead.

Pastor Rob: Question. Y'all ever had a youth lock-in?
Mary: Oh. No. Whenever we talk about it, Pastor Jeff shoots it down.
Pastor Rob: Why? Kids love sleepovers. Doing it here shows them church can be fun.
Mary: I don't know. The Methodists did it last year. They're still cleaning up Silly String.

Pastor Rob: Hey, you want to chaperone with me?
Mary: Oh. Uh... I don't know.
Pastor Rob: Come on. We'll pull an all-nighter. It'll be fun.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah, Mary. Don't be such a lame-o. [Rob chuckles]
Mary: I'm not a lame-o. I'm a fun-o.
Pastor Jeff: So you're in?
Mary: You betcha.
Pastor Rob: All right. Fun-o is in. We got ourselves a lock-in to plan.

Mary: I have something fun for us to do on Saturday night.
Missy: Ooh, what?
Mary: The church is thinking...
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Ugh.
Mary: Hold on. We're gonna do an overnight lock-in with pizza and games and movies.
Missy: Boys and girls?
Mary: Yes.
Missy: I got to find cute pajamas.

Mandy: And now I'm here, hoping I don't run into anybody I went to high school with.
Georgie: Well, I think you're safe. Loretta there is one of our younger customers.
Mandy: Oh. Seems like a good place to meet girls.
Georgie: I met you. But play it cool. Loretta can get real jealous.
Mandy: [whispers]: Okay.

Mary: What are you girls reading?
Missy: Christian Teen. It's such a good one.
Mary: Oh.
[Mary takes the magazine off Missy and finds another magazine, Sassy, inside it]
Mary: Really, girls?
Missy: How'd you know?
Mary: Because I am your mother and I know everything. [returns Christian Teen] You can keep this one.
[After Missy discards the Christian magazine, she notices Sheldon watching her and smiling. He quickly looks away.]

Missy: You guys want to play sardines?
Billy Sparks: What's that?
Missy: It's like hide-and-seek except one person hides and everyone else tries to find them.
Sheldon: That sounds like an acceptable form of fun.
Missy: It's only fun when we have a really good hider, so not you.
Sheldon: Hold on, I'm an excellent hider. Do you know how many small spaces I've been stuffed into in my life?
Missy: All right, go hide. We'll close our eyes and count to 20.
Billy Sparks: One. Two. Three.
Missy: Why are you counting?
Billy Sparks: I don't know.