George: Ugh, come on, Bucky, try throwing it to someone on your own team.
Keith: Is that the Aggie game?
George: Yeah, we're down by ten. You like A&M?
Keith: I was raised a Cornhusker, but when in Texas.
George: Huh, science and sports? Didn't know that was a thing.
Keith: It is possible to be a scientist and a normal guy.
[meanwhile:]
Dr. John Sturgis: [as his head is rubbed] May your team be victorious!
[back:]
George: Not my experience.

Missy: There he is again.
Georgie: Why don't you go talk to him?
Missy: Are you crazy? Look how beautiful he is.
Georgie: Sorry, the only guy I'm calling beautiful is me. And maybe David Hasselhoff.

Keith: Someone's got to be in charge, but when you step up and do it, everyone gets upset.
George: So your problem is a woman's mad at you and Sheldon thinks you're dumb?
Keith: Yeah.
George: Welcome to my life, friend.
Keith: W- What do I do?
George: You- You quit complaining. You're young, you're smart, you're not tied down. This is as good as it gets.
Keith: It is?
George: Yes. I wish I was 20 again. Eating and drinking and being skinny. Now go back in there, finish your project, and get your ass to a keg party. Go!

Georgie: Just say hi, keep it casual, pretend like you don't care that much.
Missy: But I care the most.
Georgie: See, that's gonna freak him out.
Missy: How do you know?
Georgie: 'Cause it's freaking me out. Now go. [later, shouting:] No touching! That's right, you heard me!

June: So you went camping with Dale? How'd that go?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I hesitate to speak ill of him.
June: I divorced him. Say what you want.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then, it was terrible.

Georgie: I liked it better when you wanted to marry ALF.
Missy: I still kind of do.

Georgie: Friday the Thirteenth Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan might be the best one.
Missy: Muppets also took Manhattan.

June: Practice running late?
Meemaw: Yeah. The Sparks kid got himself stuck in the bathroom.
June: How'd that happen?
Meemaw: Well, the door's a push and he was a-pulling. Look at him out there.
June: Billy's my grandson.
Meemaw: Oh. I am so sorry. I- I mean, not that he's your grandson. I'm just I'm-a stop talking now.
June: I'm messing with you. [chuckles]
Meemaw: Well... You got me, all right.

June: Ah, no. That one's mine over there. Evan.
Meemaw: Oh, I-isn't that the coach's grandson?
June: Uh-huh.
Meemaw: So you must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife?
June: Yeah. Why?
Meemaw: No reason.

June: This would be a lot more fun with margaritas.
Meemaw: What isn't?
June: Then you'd love the way I ran the PTA.
Meemaw: And you'd love the way I show up at church. [both laugh]
June: You're fun. We ought to go out for drinks one night. I'll give you my number.
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. Oh, well... All right.
June: I'm around tomorrow if you're free.
Meemaw: Uh, sure. You should know something, though. Um, I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.
June: You waited till now to tell me? You're sneaky. I like that.
Meemaw: That is not the feedback I usually get.
June: Well, since we're being honest, I knew who you were the whole time. That's why I came over here.
Meemaw: Damn. Nicely played.
June: So we're still on for drinks?
Meemaw: Oh, hell yeah.
June: Yeehaw.

Sam: Can I at least switch groups?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sorry. I assigned this project because it's important for scientists to learn how to collaborate.
Sheldon: If we must work together, here's my proposal. I do everything by myself and put their names on it.
Dr. John Sturgis: No.

Mary: What's going on?
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis is forcing us to collaborate.
Mary: Oh.
Sam: And we wanted to get it done tonight, but apparently there's a bedtime and shower conflict.
Sheldon: Bubble bath.
Mary: Oh, right, it's bath night.

Meemaw: She spent 18 years with you. I'd rather learn from her.
Dale: So you can dig up a little dirt on me?
Meemaw: Mm, yeah.
Dale: Well, let me spoil it, then. She's gonna tell you about the time I had a little too much to drink on Halloween and I ended up puking in my son's candy bucket.
Meemaw: I bet she tells it better.
Dale: Then there was the time we had a fight - and I locked her out in a hailstorm.
Meemaw: Damn.
Dale: But in my defense, when I locked her out it, it was raining. The hail was heaven-sent.
Meemaw: You're a charmer.

Dale: So you didn't do anything you regret when you were married?
Meemaw: Oh, lots of stuff. Feel free to grab a shovel and go have some drinks with my dead husband.
Dale: Oh, that's dark.
Meemaw: Not as dark as my secrets.
Dale: Oh, you... You are so hot.

June: Hey, there.
Meemaw: I hope you don't mind, I started without you.
June: Not at all. Is this one for me or am I gonna be carrying you home tonight? [chuckles]
Meemaw: It's all yours.