Keith: I think we can explain the additional electrons if we assume the barrier has a slope to it.
Sheldon: That won't work.
Sam: Okay, well, what if the electrons are a product of-
Sheldon: We need to consider that the electrons are actually moving backwards in time.
Keith: No, that math's gonna take forever. Let's just do it my way. Can you write on the board? You probably have the best handwriting.
Sam: Why? Because I'm a girl?
Sheldon: I'm sure it's better than mine. I only learned to write six years ago.

June: What do you want to know?
Meemaw: Well, I know not to piss him off during a hailstorm.
June: He told you that?
Meemaw: He wanted to throw himself under the bus rather than let you push him.
June: Well, did he tell you that I was naked when he locked me out?
Meemaw: No! Why did he do that?
June: 'Cause I was trying to hit him with a golf club.
Meemaw: What were you doing naked with a golf club in a hailstorm?
June: Uh, you know, it was the '70s.
Meemaw: I remember.

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie!
Meemaw: Hey, John.
June: How?
Meemaw: We used to date.
June: So you dated him and Dale? You don't have a type, do you?

Meemaw: John, this is June.
June: Hi.
Dr. John Sturgis: June. After Juno, wife of Jupiter and queen of the gods.
June: No, after the fact that my mom got knocked up in June.
Dr. John Sturgis: Ribald! Wonderful.

Keith: All right, something's not working out here.
Sheldon: Perhaps it's the way you're pacing. Pick a number of steps and stick to it.

Mary: So how's it going?
Sheldon: Great. Now that those two are gone, I can finally get some work done.

June: You're a doctor?
Meemaw: He has his PhD in physics, but his specialty is quantum chromodynamics.
June: Wow, that sounds interesting.
Meemaw: Oh, it is. And I would tell you more about it, but I'm lucky I remembered the quantum chromodynamics.
June: And you didn't even have to rub his head.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, it's here if the mood strikes.

Mary: I brought you some coffee.
Sam: You don't have to keep waiting on us.
Mary: I'm sorry, is there a problem?
Sam: I'm just frustrated.
Mary: Is it Sheldon?
Sam: It's Sheldon and Keith and every other guy in our field, which is basically everyone. There were only three other women and one of them just dropped out to get married.
Mary: Oh, good for her. O-Or bad, bad for science, bad for women.
Sam: None of the guys in my class take me seriously, and honestly, it doesn't help when women like you run around doing their laundry and making them snacks.
Mary: I'm just being a good host.
Sam: Yeah, and raising another boy to think that all women are just notetakers and mommies.
Mary: I'm sorry I'm making life so hard for you. And for your information, Sheldon does not look down on women, he looks down on everyone.

Mary: I understand that you want to be appreciated for what you do, but so do I. This is my home and taking care of my family is the choice that I've made, and I am proud to do it.
Sam: Okay.
Mary: It is okay. And I am sorry if me baking cookies says something bad about women, but if you think that Sheldon is difficult to work with now, you should try him with low blood sugar, he is a monster.

Adult Sheldon: Somehow, my parents calmed everyone down and got us back on track. We listened to each other's thoughts, and we worked as a team for almost four whole minutes.
Keith: All right, that doesn't make any sense.
Sheldon: Because you don't understand it.
Sam: It makes total sense, Keith.
Sheldon: [o.s.] Please, just take your underpants and go.

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] You know, the truth is, I'm-I'm still kind of heartbroken over Connie, and, uh, I was hoping if someone else liked me, it might make it hurt less.
June: Well, I don't know either one of you very well, but I wouldn't write off Connie just yet.
Dr. John Sturgis: Why? Did she say something?
June: No, but, uh, it's just the way she looked at you.
Dr. John Sturgis: See? That's what I'm terrible at. How do you people do it?
June: Look, I know she's with Dale right now, but we were married for a long time. Trust me, he's gonna screw this up.
Dr. John Sturgis: Follow up question: Should I mention any of this to Connie?
June: Mm, I wouldn't.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent. Bye.