June: This would be a lot more fun with margaritas.
Meemaw: What isn't?
June: Then you'd love the way I ran the PTA.
Meemaw: And you'd love the way I show up at church. [both laugh]
June: You're fun. We ought to go out for drinks one night. I'll give you my number.
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. Oh, well... All right.
June: I'm around tomorrow if you're free.
Meemaw: Uh, sure. You should know something, though. Um, I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.
June: You waited till now to tell me? You're sneaky. I like that.
Meemaw: That is not the feedback I usually get.
June: Well, since we're being honest, I knew who you were the whole time. That's why I came over here.
Meemaw: Damn. Nicely played.
June: So we're still on for drinks?
Meemaw: Oh, hell yeah.
June: Yeehaw.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

Meemaw: All right, come on, let's talk about something else.
June: Okay.
Dr. John Sturgis: A lot of people here like to talk about the game.
Meemaw: Really? You speak sports now?
Dr. John Sturgis: I sure do. Check this out. Hey, ref! I suggest you go back to referee school and this time pay attention in class!
Man #1: You tell him, Doc.

Mary: How about you all come work at our house?
Sam: I guess if that's our only option.
Mary: It'll be fun. I'll make food. You can even bring your laundry.
Keith: That actually would be great.
Sheldon: Now this man's soiled underpants will be in my kitchen. Thank you.

Keith: How about we work in my dorm tomorrow?
Mary: Um, I don't know if a dormitory is the right environment for someone his age.
Sheldon: If you're worried about the beer-drinking, Dad has thoroughly desensitized me.