Adult Sheldon: You probably think of quantum physics as a white-knuckle rush of adrenaline, like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland. But the reality can be a little less exciting, especially when you're stuck. [clock ticking] [lights humming] [water bubbles]
Dr. Linkletter: We'll get this.
Sheldon: Perhaps a set of fresh eyes could be helpful.
Dr. Linkletter: If you're going to suggest Dr. Sturgis, I should remind you we have a complicated history.
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: And your graviton research is mediocre at best!
Dr. Linkletter: You're not qualified to judge my work.
Dr. John Sturgis: All right, that's it. [they shove each other]
[present:]
Sheldon: We'll get this.

George Sr.: You don't want to be the rebound guy.
Billy Sparks: What's that?
George Sr.: That's the guy after the guy she really liked and before the next guy she really likes.
Billy Sparks: What?
George Sr.: You and Missy are friends. You go to school together. That could make things complicated if it doesn't go well.
Billy Sparks: I didn't think about that.
George Sr.: If she turns you down, you're gonna have to see her all the time.
Billy Sparks: But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.
George Sr.: [sighs] I just think you ought to take a minute and figure out if it's really worth it. I-It's like football. You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line, but if you don't make it, it's game over.
Billy Sparks: You're not just a football coach. You're a coach of life.

Billy Sparks: I would like your permission to ask out Missy.
George Sr.: Really?
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
George Sr.: Okay. Uh... [TV turns off] Well, I appreciate you coming to me.
Billy Sparks: I wanted to do this the right way.
George Sr.: Uh-huh. You know, Billy, this sounds like a big step. I'm not sure Missy's really ready for dating yet.
Billy Sparks: She went out with Marcus from school. They went to the movies.
George Sr.: Yeah, that is... meaningful.
Billy Sparks: But they broke up, so now's my chance.

Adult Sheldon: With my research complete and my ulcer on the mend, all that was left to do was send my work to NASA and wait to become America's scientific sweetheart.

Mr. Strover: I already accepted Jesus in my heart.
George Jr.: No. I'm selling these Texas snow globes.
Mr. Strover: I have enough crap in my house.
George Jr.: Crap? You love Texas, right?
Mr. Strover: [sighs] Well, sure.
George Jr.: And who doesn't like snow? Sleds and snowball fights.
Mr. Strover: I remember it snowed hard here once when I was a kid.
George Jr.: That must have been amazing.
Mr. Strover: It was. They cancelled school. Me and my brother built a snow fort in the backyard.
George Jr.: That's cool. My brother and I love doing stuff together. We're really close.
Mr. Strover: I hadn't thought about that day in a long time.
George Jr.: Well, what if that memory was just one shake away?
Mr. Strover: How much?
George Jr.: Five dollars.
Mr. Strover: Fine. I'll take it.
George Jr.: How about you get one for your brother?
Mr. Strover: I don't know. He married some Yankee gal and moved to Connecticut.
George Jr.: But he's still your brother.
Mr. Strover: Aw, what the hell. She's gonna leave him at some point.

Sheldon: My mother believes I'm mentally unstable. And since there's a genetic component and I'm her child, I suppose it's possible.
Mary: I know you're angry right now, but you will not be disrespectful.
Sheldon: You know, fits of rage are a classic sign of psychosis.
Mary: Oh, you haven't seen fits of rage yet!

Sheldon: How come Georgie's not going?
Mary: He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father.
Missy: Well, I hope he learned his lesson.

Missy: You didn't sell a single snow globe?
George Sr.: Now, don't give your brother a hard time. He took some initiative, and I admire that.
George Jr.: Thank you.
George Sr.: I mean, the snow globes were silly, but I bet your next idea will be great.
George Jr.: They're not silly.
George Sr.: I'm glad you feel that way, 'cause you got 50 of them.
George Jr.: I'm gonna sell them all just to prove you wrong.
Meemaw: Well, now I know it's a peeing contest between you and your daddy, I'll take two.
George Jr.: Well, all right. Mom, you're not crazy about Dad. Want to buy a snow globe?

Dr. John Sturgis: You know, there's some science to indicate that adolescents process embarrassment with a different part of their brain than adults do.
Sheldon: Really? So maybe Missy's right, and I'm an outlier.
Dr. John Sturgis: Perhaps. Let's increase our sample size. Andy, would you feel embarrassed talking about sexual intercourse with your mother?
Andy: Uh...
Sheldon: Stammering, red-faced. He does seem embarrassed.
Dr. John Sturgis: Although, he may just be embarrassed by the subject in general. How would you feel discussing it with a co-worker? Say- Say me, for example.
[cut to Dr. Sturgis handing his apron in to his manager]
[cut to Dr. Sturgis on his bicycle outside the store with Sheldon:]
Dr. John Sturgis: And now we know conversations like that can cost you your job.
Sheldon: You learn something new every day.

Sheldon: I've tried a few different activities, but whatever I do just leads me back to science.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, let's think about it. What's the opposite of science?
Sheldon: Science is based in facts, and the opposite of facts is fiction.
Ms. Hutchins: How about fantasy?
Sheldon: Magic and dragons.
Ms. Hutchins: We have a whole section here.
Sheldon: Ooh, that sounds intellectually bankrupt. I'll give it a shot.

Sheldon: Good news. I found a way to take a break from science.
Mary: That's great. What is it?
Sheldon: A fantasy book series called The Lord of the Rings.
Mary: Well, it's got "the Lord" in it. That's something.

George Jr.: And if you act now, you can have this beautiful, limited edition keepsake in your home for the low, low price of only five dollars.
Meemaw: I hope you know I'm missing People's Court right now.
George Jr.: But with Christmas coming, this would make an excellent stocking stuffer.
Meemaw: Well, you're my grandson, and I love you so it hurts me to do this. [closes door]
George Jr.: Dang it.

Ms. Hutchins: We have a few books on mental illness you might find helpful. This one's a good place to start.
Sheldon: Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Read it, lived it, made the mistake of talking about it on a date. [as Sheldon leaves] Sure. Walk away. They all do.

Meemaw: Oh! Don't take all my money! I'm just a Texas grandma trying to make people happy. [laughs]

George Sr.: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George Sr.: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Adult Sheldon: In astronomy, a syzygy is a rare event when three or more celestial bodies line up.
You may also know it as the stars aligning, which was probably coined by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy." If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy. My father's idea of the stars aligning was having the house completely to himself. I was at school, Missy was at a friend's, Georgie was working, and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.
[elsewhere:]
Mary: [sings] There was a God who had a son, and Jesus was his name-o ?
Pastor Jeff: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Mary: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Pastor Jeff: J-E-S-U-S
Mary: And Jesus was his name-o. [honks horn]
Adult Sheldon: For my father, it was sweet, Southern syzygy. S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y. Syzygy. [doorbell rings]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Adult Sheldon: I eventually made my peace with having a room to myself. And I was never truly alone, thanks to my science posse: Stephen, Albert, Richard and Arthur. But for those times when I did need to communicate with Missy, we had a system.
[Sheldon pulls on a rope which pulls a lever which knocks on Missy's wall, prompting her to pick up a walkie talkie]
Missy: [over radio] What?
Sheldon: Just testing the system.
Missy: You tested it yesterday.
Sheldon: Just because it worked yesterday doesn't mean it's working today.
Missy: It's working. Good night.
Sheldon: Good night. Sleep tight. [knocking on wall]
Missy: [over radio] What?
Sheldon: Did you know when people say "sleep tight," they're referring to when beds were made of ropes, and the tighter the rope, the more comfortable the bed was to sleep on?
Missy: Cool. Bye.
Adult Sheldon: My sister wasn't always a fan of my informative tidbits, so I didn't tell her that the entire phrase, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" is actually from the book What They Say in New England: A Book of Signs, Sayings, and Superstitions. Until I told her. [knocking on wall]

Sheldon: There's a character named Gollum who was corrupted by the Ring of Power. Now he runs around naked and bites the heads off fish.
Meemaw: That's called sushi. Which, by the way, I will die before I eat.

Dr. Eberland: Um, Radio Shack?
Mary: He's trying to figure out how to help NASA land rockets.
Dr. Eberland: Oh. Well, that's a nice thing.
George Sr.: He's just doing it out of spite.

George Sr.: Go!
Sheldon: And you're surprised I have an ulcer.
George Sr.: I'm surprised I don't have one.