Popular Quotes
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Sheldon: How do you recommend I "suck it up"?
Missy: I don't know, when you don't get your way, shut up and move on.
Sheldon: Is that what you do?
Missy: Yeah.
Sheldon: And that's why you don't have a computer.
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Sheldon: Well, I may never get another chance to see him in person.
Missy: Suck it up. You always get everything you want.
Sheldon: That's not true.
Missy: You got a computer. I'm reading a booger book.
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.
Quote from the episode An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom
Meemaw: I've got it. He's headed to Rusk. He's going to the hospital to see John.
George Sr.: I'll call the police.
Mary: Hurry!
Missy: Is Sheldon going to jail?
Mary: No!
Missy: Damn it.
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Sheldon: Are there any discounts available?
Fran: Are you a member of any frequent-flier programs?
Sheldon: No, I've never flown before.
Fran: Well, ways to keep the cost down are: flying on weekdays, multiple layovers... Or, this probably doesn't apply, but airlines offer special fares if there's been a death in the family.
Sheldon: Interesting. May I use your phone?
[elsewhere:]
Meemaw: [answering phone] Hello?
[back:]
Sheldon: What else you got?
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Fran: Hi. Can I help you?
Sheldon: I'm trying to find the cheapest flight to California for me and my father.
Fran: Okay. Well, have a seat. You lookin' to go to Disneyland?
Sheldon: The only ride I'm interested in is the intellectual roller coaster of Stephen Hawking's mind.
Fran: And where is that located?
Sheldon: Well... Stephen Hawking's head. But that will be at Caltech in Pasadena.
Quote from the episode A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac
George Jr.: I don't see why I couldn't stay home.
Mary: 'Cause we're having a fun family outin'.
George Jr.: Can I at least drive?
Meemaw: She said fun, not tragic.
Quote from the episode Pasadena
George Sr.: This is the moment we lost that game. But one bad play doesn't mean you give up. We had plenty of time to turn it around, but y'all decided it was over. I don't want to ever see that happen again. Next time something seems out of your reach, you do not quit. You just dig deeper.
Sheldon: [appears out of nowhere] Does that mean if I find an affordable flight to California, we can go?
Quote from the episode Pasadena
Sheldon: So can we go?
George Sr.: I don't know. Go take a shower.
Sheldon: I still have two minutes and 15 seconds. Let's nail this down.
George Sr.: Where's the lecture? And if the answer's Dallas, we're not going.
Sheldon: Good news: it's not Dallas.
George Sr.: Where?
Sheldon: Pasadena, California.
George Sr.: California? That's a lot further than Dallas.
Sheldon: 1,232 miles further as the crow flies. But kudos to you for being up on your geography.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Sheldon: Hello, Sam, Keith, big bag of dirty underpants.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Man #1: Hey, there's my man! [cheering]
Man #2: The doctor's in the house!
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, y'all!
Meemaw: Oh, boy.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Meemaw: Well, we've covered football and grandkids...
June: Our favorite Golden Girl. Did not peg you for a Dorothy.
Meemaw: What have we left out?
June: Hmm. I don't know. Maybe we've run out of stuff to talk about.
Meemaw: Oh, wait. We forgot about your ex-husband.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
George Jr.: They call it "Hot Dog on a Stick," but that's not the only food on a stick they sell.
Missy: It's not?
George Jr.: They also got cheese on a stick.
Quote from the episode An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom
Sheldon: I think you all understand why I wanted to show you this.
George Sr.: No.
Sheldon: It's an apology. I was the miners, you were the Horta.
Meemaw: How about just saying, "I'm sorry"?
Sheldon: Wow, you're really not getting this. Let's watch it again.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
George Jr.: I liked it better when you wanted to marry ALF.
Missy: I still kind of do.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
June: I like your blouse.
Meemaw: Oh, you do? Truth be told, I changed my outfit three times.
June: For little old me?
Meemaw: Well, I've never gotten drinks with a boyfriend's ex-wife. Do you try to look hot or do you try to look like you're not trying?
June: Well, clearly, you went for hot.
Meemaw: I wasn't even trying.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Missy: There he is again.
George Jr.: Why don't you go talk to him?
Missy: Are you crazy? Look how beautiful he is.
George Jr.: Sorry, the only guy I'm calling beautiful is me. And maybe David Hasselhoff.
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
George Jr.: Just say hi, keep it casual, pretend like you don't care that much.
Missy: But I care the most.
George Jr.: See, that's gonna freak him out.
Missy: How do you know?
George Jr.: 'Cause it's freaking me out. Now go. [later, shouting:] No touching! That's right, you heard me!
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Keith: Someone's got to be in charge, but when you step up and do it, everyone gets upset.
George Sr.: So your problem is a woman's mad at you and Sheldon thinks you're dumb?
Keith: Yeah.
George Sr.: Welcome to my life, friend.
Keith: W- What do I do?
George Sr.: You- You quit complaining. You're young, you're smart, you're not tied down. This is as good as it gets.
Keith: It is?
George Sr.: Yes. I wish I was 20 again. Eating and drinking and being skinny. Now go back in there, finish your project, and get your ass to a keg party. Go!
Quote from the episode A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub
Sheldon: Can't we just do this individually?
Keith: Why are you complaining? I'm the one stuck working with a kid.
Sheldon: Hey. When it comes to physics, I'm practically a coot. Which is an old person word for someone who's old. Tell him.
Dr. John Sturgis: It is.
Sam: Let's just go to a coffee shop and get this over with.
Sheldon: I can't go now. I have to get home for my bath and bedtime. Which is also something an old person does.
Dr. John Sturgis: That we do.