Sheldon: I wonder if we'll get to meet an astronaut.
Meemaw: I remember when I was a teenager, I had the biggest crush on John Glenn. I would've given it up for him no problem.
Mary: Mom.
Missy: Given what up?
Mary: Her allowance. Just eat.

Mary: Isn't this exciting? It's just us girls, no boys in the house.
Meemaw: The place already smells better.

Missy: So what are we gonna do?
Mary: How would you like to go to the beauty salon and get all done up?
Missy: Can I have orange hair like Cyndi Lauper?
Mary: I don't think so.
Missy: Meemaw has friends with blue hair.
Meemaw: She's right. I haven't gone there yet, but after a certain age, it's mandatory.

Mary: Your hair's not changing color.
Missy: Aw.
Meemaw: Sorry, kiddo. Your mom is no fun.
Mary: Excuse me, I'm fun.
Missy: So I can color my hair?
Mary: Not a chance. But I'm very much fun.
Meemaw: Whatever you need to believe. Mein Fuhrer.

Meemaw: You think I didn't feel bad not being around more than I wanted to be?
Mary: Did you?
Meemaw: A little bit. I'm teasing, come on.

Meemaw: Why else would I have begged you and George to move back to Medford?
Mary: So you could be with your grandchildren.
Meemaw: And you.
Mary: Really?
Meemaw: Yeah. You're the only one of my children still talking to me.
Mary: No surprise there.
Meemaw: Besides, you raised yourself better than I ever could.
Mary: You actually believe that?
Meemaw: No, but it would help my cause if you did.

George Sr.: Connie, one of these days, you got to give me the recipe.
Meemaw: You bet. For sure. One of these days.

George Sr.: That's it. 15 years in this family, and all the time I've been nothing but a good, supportive son-in-law. I always treated your daughter right, I gave you three beautiful grandchildren. Only thing I ever asked in return was that damn recipe.
Meemaw: You're right. Get another piece of paper. I'll write it down.
George Sr.: Don't mess with me, Connie.
Meemaw: Get the paper before I change my mind.
Mary: You're gonna do it to him again, aren't you?
Meemaw: I kind of have to.

Mary: You know this all goes away if you just give him your recipe for the brisket.
Meemaw: I know.
Mary: And?
Meemaw: I guess it's not going away.

Meemaw: He thought I wrote it down. What a dope.

Meemaw: Would this change your feelings?
George Sr.: Is that it?
Meemaw: The Holy Grail.
George Sr.: What changed your mind?
Meemaw: You not going to the picnic today, that hurt Mary and the twins. I cannot have that on my heart.
George Sr.: Is that so?
Meemaw: Absolutely.
George Sr.: Look me in the eye and tell me this is the actual recipe.
Meemaw: George, what you have in your hand is the exact step-by-step instructions on how to make my brisket. I have never written it down until tonight because I was afraid someone might steal it. But I'm entrusting this to you, and I hope that someday, when the time is right, you will see fit to share it with one of your children.
George Sr.: Connie, I don't know what to say.
Meemaw: Don't call me Connie. Call me Mom.
George Sr.: [CHUCKLES] Thanks, Mom.
Meemaw: You're welcome, son.

Meemaw: What a dope.

Mary: This Cafe Du Monde coffee is very good.
Meemaw: They make it with chicory.
Mary: And what does it do to the brisket?
Meemaw: Oh, I have no idea.
Mary: Then why did you send George all the way to New Orleans?
Meemaw: Well, they don't sell this around here.

George Sr.: What are you doing here?
Meemaw: Same as you. I want to see what his brain did.

Meemaw: That's impossible, you weren't even two years old.
Sheldon: Three tablespoons of dried mustard, one cup of Lone Star beer-
Meemaw: Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Give it to your father.

George Sr.: Connie, you've had every opportunity to give me that recipe and you never did, because you've always treated me like an outsider.
Mary: No, she has not.
Missy: Oh, of course I have.
George Sr.: See? She admits it.
Meemaw: Damn right, I do. Never thought you were good enough for my daughter. There you were, riding around on that dumb motorcycle, knocking her up.

Meemaw: So I saw a lawyer today.
Mary: Why?
Meemaw: I'm putting together my last will and testament.
George Sr.: We're gonna miss ya.
Mary: George.
Meemaw: Don't worry. I ain't leaving him squat.

Mary: Shelly, you haven't touched your dinner. You feel okay?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. I was just thinking.
Mary: About what, baby?
Sheldon: The optimal height-to-width ratio for a reusable rocket.
Meemaw: I was just thinking the exact same thing.
Sheldon: Really?
Meemaw: Oh, Moonpie, I love you so much.

Sheldon: Meemaw?
Meemaw: Mr. Moonpie, how might I help you?
Sheldon: How much money are you planning to leave me when you die?
Meemaw: Nice talkin' to you.

Sheldon: Meemaw?
Meemaw: Want to try that again?
Sheldon: I need to buy a computer so I can solve the Navier-Stokes equation.
Meemaw: Uh-huh. How much is a computer?
Sheldon: Apple has a nice one for $2,000, but the kind I need costs three million.
Meemaw: Let me see what I got in the vault. Nine bucks and, uh, oh, look at that a peso.
Sheldon: It's warm.