Sheldon: What'd she say?
Meemaw: The doctors are doin' some tests, but, dollars to donuts, your daddy's just got a bad case of gas.

Meemaw: Y'all two go get ready for bed.
George Jr.: I don't want to stay around here. I want to go to the hospital and see Dad.
Meemaw: Well, I want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, but that ain't gonna happen either.

George Jr.: This is stupid.
Meemaw: You know what's stupid? I got to drink pink wine!

Meemaw: Yeah?
Mary: What took you so long to answer?
Meemaw: Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?
Mary: Sorry I asked.

Mary: How are the kids?
Meemaw: Oh. (chuckles)They were a little worried, but I handled it.
Mary: They sleepin'?
Meemaw: Um Yeah, yeah. You bet.
Mary: Thanks again for helpin'.
Meemaw: Oh, hey, these are my grandchildren. They are my blood.

Meemaw: [reading Sheldon's note explaining George Jr. took her car and was driving them to the hospital] Son of a bitch. I hate those kids!

Meemaw: Mary.
Mary: Mom!
Meemaw: Where are they?
Mary: Where's who?
Meemaw: (calming tone) More importantly - how is George?

Sheldon: Mom!
Meemaw: Ah. There they are!
Mary: Hey. Oh.
Meemaw: Ha! I lost the little rascals in the hall.

Mary: Why are they here?
Meemaw: I think it's obvious. They love their daddy.
Mary: No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed?
Meemaw: Well, nobody could sleep. I thought it was the right thing.

Sheldon: Good bluff.
Meemaw: Shh.

Meemaw: Hold up. Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. Poker, candy, firecrackers.
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Yeah.
Meemaw: Well, if your mother ever finds out what you did tonight, that is never gonna happen again.
Sheldon: I can't lie to my mother.
Meemaw: Sure you can. Believe in yourself!

George Jr.: What's taking so long?
Meemaw: Shh. Keep your voice down, car thief.
George Jr.: I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it.
Meemaw: You're gonna need to make bail someday. Do not come to me.

Pastor Jeff: I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, God said, "Let there be light." And there was light. And when God saw that light, he knew it was good.
*Sheldon raises his hand*
Meemaw: Oh, here we go.