George Jr.: And I wasn't eavesdropping.
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
George Jr.: I just don't see why I got grounded.
George Sr.: What are you complaining about? You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway.
George Jr.: I like complaining. I'm good at it.

Meemaw: Mean that much to you?
George Sr.: Mary and I were dating about a month when she brought me home for dinner. I took one bite of this brisket, and I knew I loved your daughter.
Mary: Gee, thanks.
George Jr.: Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except Dad kissed meat.

George Jr.: I'm bored.
Missy: Me, too.
Meemaw: Hey. Someday somebody's gonna write a book about Sheldon. Don't you want there to be a chapter about how loving and supportive you two were?
George Jr.: Doesn't matter. I ain't reading it.

George Jr.: Are you dyin'?
Meemaw: We're all dyin', honey. From the second we're born, it's just a slip and slide into the darkness.
George Jr.: Unless you get bit by a vampire.
Meemaw: Well, now that goes without saying.

Dr. Hodges: Now, what I thought would be fun to talk about today is what NASA's planning on doing beyond the Space Shuttle. Things like the first manned mission to Mars. Uh, yeah?
George Jr.: Did you see the movie Aliens?
Dr. Hodges: I did.
George Jr.: Did you think it was cool?
Dr. Hodges: Uh, sure, I enjoyed it.
George Jr.: Me, too.
Dr. Hodges: Football player, right?
George Jr.: Yes, sir.

George Jr.: You're not thinking about taking his advice, are you?
George Sr.: Never you mind.
George Jr.: But he's wrong. Everybody knows you punt on fourth down.
Sheldon: Why does everybody knowing something make it right?
George Jr.: Because. That's what makes this country great.

George Jr.: Fourth down.
George Sr.: Gotta punt.
Missy: Gotta.
Sheldon: Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense.
George Jr.: Statistically, you're a dumbass.

Missy: Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon, who's smarter, me or Georgie?
George Jr.: Me, of course.
Missy: Why you?
George Jr.: My head's bigger.

Meemaw: What's all this about choking?
George Jr.: Sheldon almost died this morning.
Meemaw: What?!
George Jr.: Oh, yeah. Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle.
Missy: It was great.

Sheldon: Why don't we ask somebody for directions?
George Jr.: Because we're children in a car, genius.

Sheldon: We're going to jail.
Missy: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.
Sheldon: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
George Jr.: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.

Missy: How about I put the radio on real low?
George Jr.: Shut up.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
George Jr.: I'm driving to the hospital. You can come with me or stay here up to you.
Missy: I'm comin'.
George Jr.: Sheldon?
Sheldon: You're 14. You don't know how to drive.
George Jr.: I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. It's the same thing.
Sheldon: But you sat on the farmer's lap.
George Jr.: Then stay here.

George Jr.: Okay, seat belts, everybody.
Sheldon: Please drive slowly.
George Jr.: Relax. I know what I'm doin'.

Sheldon: Please slow down.
George Jr.: I'm goin' eight miles an hour. A cow just passed us.

Missy: Do you know how to get to the hospital?
George Jr.: Yeah. It's right across the street from the Dairy Queen.
Sheldon: Which Dairy Queen?
George Jr.: What are you talkin' about?
Sheldon: There's two.
George Jr.: Really?

George Jr.: Hey. What's goin' on?
Missy: Dad's in the hospital.
George Jr.: What? Why's Dad in the hospital?
Meemaw: He's gonna be fine.
Sheldon: He had chest pains.
Meemaw: He's gonna be fine.
George Jr.: What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital?
Meemaw: Nobody's goin' nowhere. We're just gonna stay calm, have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call and tell us what's what.
George Jr.: I'm not hungry.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Tam: So, for many years, my mother and my sisters and I were very poor and very often didn't have much to eat. Then, when he was released-
George Jr.: What'd they teach him at the reeducation camp?
Tam: How to be a communist.
George Jr.: Cool, like in Rambo.

Tam: We were forced to live in a refugee camp, where the only thing we had to eat were pigeons and rats.
George Jr.: Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.