George Jr.: So I'll pick you up in the morning?
Wade: Well, not too early. I have to walk Mitzy.
George Jr.: Your dog?
Wade: The wife. She got a new hip, and the doc says she needs to keep it moving.

Wade: I'll take a beer.
George Jr.: Celebrating a win?
Wade: No, I've been losing all morning.
George Jr.: Couple more of them, you won't give a crap.
Wade: Let's hope.

George Jr.: I'm hoping for a boy, but as long as it's healthy, that's all that matters. What are y'all having?

Mary: Georgie, how was your day?
George Jr.: Pretty good, actually. Me and Mandy went to the baby doctor.
Missy: She actually wanted you there?
George Jr.: Not at first, but I wore her down.

George Jr.: Mandy, please. I want to help.
Mandy: He can stay.
George Jr.: Thanks. What can I do?
Mandy: Nothing.
George Jr.: I can do that.

George Jr.: So, that's it? Nobody else said anything?
[Mary and George both shake their heads]
George Jr.: Good. 'Cause her parents still don't know, and if this gets out, she's gonna be more pissed than ever.
Mary: Everything's gonna be fine. Let's just eat.
Missy: I... kind of told Heather M. at school. I told her to keep it a secret.
George Jr.: Did you keep it a secret?
Missy: No.
George Jr.: Unbelievable.
Mary: Actually, I told someone at church today.
George Sr.: And I might have told Wayne.
George Jr.: I can't believe y'all.
Sheldon: I know. You'd expect it from me, but from them, it's a shocker.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [storms out]

George Jr.: I know it didn't go great the other night, but I meant what I said... I'll be there for you.
Mandy: Georgie, not now.
George Jr.: I'm serious. I'll go to baby classes with you. You need to learn that breathing stuff.
Mandy: Okay, one chicken fried steak and a cheeseburger.
George Jr.: Ain't you gonna refill their water?
Mandy: Go away!
George Jr.: Also, you'll be throwing up in the morning... I'm good with that. You may not know, but your feet are gonna swell up, and your boobs. I'll rub whatever you need rubbed.
Mandy: Good to know.
Cook: Table three, order up.
George Jr.: Want me to get that? You know, in your condition.
Mandy: Georgie, I got it.
George Jr.: Sorry, I'll quit bothering you.
Mandy: Great.
George Jr.: Just one more thing. I love you.
Mandy: What?
George Jr.: You ain't got to say it back.
Mandy: Yeah, I'm not gonna.
George Jr.: Don't forget their water!

Mary: Maybe it would be better if you went to your parents with, um, good news first.
Mandy: And what would that be?
Mary: Well... everybody loves a wedding.
George Sr.: Would you stop with that?
Mary: It needs to be discussed.
Mandy: No, it doesn't. I'm having a baby, I don't need to marry another one.
George Jr.: I know I'm young now, but think about it... When you're a dried-up old lady, I'll be your hot trophy husband.
Meemaw: Maybe her dad should put you down.

Mary: I hope brisket's okay. Georgie wasn't too sure what kind of food you liked.
George Jr.: We didn't do a lot of eating when we were together.
[Mandy gives Georgie a dirty look]

George Jr.: Hey, let's just keep in mind, I didn't do this by myself. It takes two to tango.
Meemaw: Do you even know what a tango is?
George Jr.: It's sex, ain't it?

George Jr.: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
George Jr.: That was a big part of my defense.

Mary: What do we even know about this girl?
George Jr.: Well, that's the thing...
George Sr.: Buckle up.
George Jr.: She's 29.
Mary: Years old?! Oh, my... [stands up]
George Jr.: Guess we're standing again.
Mary: What kind of 29-year-old dates someone your age?!
George Jr.: Obviously the kind that was lied to.

George Sr.: You realize you have to tell your mother.
George Jr.: Well, I just told you. Maybe we let it sit awhile.
George Sr.: [stammers] I can't know this and keep it to myself.
George Jr.: Dale did. Like a champ.
George Sr.: [scoffs] Georgie, you have to tell her.
George Jr.: Fine. Will you at least be there?
George Sr.: Yeah.
George Jr.: And tell her?

Mary: What's going on? Everything okay?
George Sr.: You might want to sit.
Mary: Now you're scaring me.
George Sr.: No one died.
George Jr.: Kind of the opposite, actually. [George rolls his eyes]

George Jr.: Hey.
George Sr.: Your mother said you wanted to talk to me?
George Jr.: Yeah. Come in.
George Sr.: So, what's going on?
George Jr.: It's kind of hard to talk about.
George Sr.: Whatever it is, I'm here for you.
George Jr.: I... I got a girl pregnant.

George Jr.: All right. I know what I need to do.
Dale: Tell your parents?
George Jr.: Do the right thing and marry her.
Dale: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Georgie... no one has to get married here.
George Jr.: Well, my dad got my mom pregnant, and he married her.
Dale: Rushing into marriage with someone you hardly know is a bad idea.
George Jr.: Maybe we could be happy together.
Dale: How does she feel about you right now?
George Jr.: Pissed. But she's pregnant, so it's probably just chick hormones.
Dale: Well, tell her that and see what happens.

George Jr.: It's Georgie.
Mandy: [opens door] What?
George Jr.: I know I was a little freaked out the last time I was here.
Mandy: You should be.
George Jr.: But I had some time to think, and there's something I need to ask you.
Mandy: Yeah?
George Jr.: Are you sure that baby's mine?
[cut to Georgie in Dale's office again:]
George Jr.: She did not like that question at all.

George Sr.: Hey, what are you doing here?
George Jr.: I just had to talk to Dale.
George Sr.: You all right? You look like you saw a ghost.
George Jr.: Yeah, I'm good.
George Sr.: Look, I know I've been busy, but if you ever want to talk, I'm around.
George Jr.: Actually, uh... I-I... I got a... I got a girl pregnant.
George Sr.: What the hell's the matter with you?!
[George picks up Dale's cash register and smashes it through a glass display case, before tearing his own shirt off]
[reality:]
George Sr.: Hello? I said if you ever want to talk, I'm here.
George Jr.: Thanks. Gotta go.

George Jr.: My folks are gonna kill me.
Dale: They don't know yet?
George Jr.: You're the only person I told.
Dale: Oh, no, I don't want that.
George Jr.: Please help me.
Dale: [sighs] All right, first things first. Are you sure this kid's even yours?
George Jr.: Yeah. We've been sleeping together.
Dale: Well, that doesn't mean it's yours.
George Jr.: [cheerfully] Maybe she cheated on me.
Dale: We can only hope.

George Jr.: Are you sure?
Mandy: [picks up pregnancy test] I'm sure.
George Jr.: Sometimes these things ain't accurate. Maybe take another one.
Mandy: [picks up another test] Here you go.
George Jr.: Two is convincing, but-but three...
Mandy: I'm pregnant, Georgie!
George Jr.: [sighs] What happens now?
Mandy: I don't know. I've never been knocked up by a 17-year-old before.
George Jr.: Well, if it helps, I turn 18 in March.