Tommy: What is your problem?
Sheldon: Oh, I don't have a problem. You should probably wash your hands. I just witnessed an altercation between you and Georgie Cooper.
Tommy: Altercation?
Sheldon: A confrontation, a tussle. Anyway, I'd just like to gather more information for sociological purposes.
Tommy: Oh, I heard about you, you're that smart kid.
Sheldon: I'd like to be humble in this moment, but yes, that's me. Sheldon Cooper, at your service.

Sheldon: Hello, Tommy. I have some unfortunate news.
Tommy: What's that?
Sheldon: I boasted to Jason Davies that you're my friend, and things took an unexpected turn.
You're scheduled to fight him at 3:00 p.m. on the basketball court.
Tommy: I don't want to fight Jason Davies.
Sheldon: I don't think you have a choice. He was pretty adamant.
Tommy: Fine, I'll deal with it.
Sheldon: You do have the option of simply not showing up.
Tommy: That's not how fights work, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Why? Do they take attendance?

Mary: What on Earth did you say to Missy?
Meemaw: Why? What'd she do now?
Mary: Nothing, she was an angel. I dropped her off at school, and she hugged me in front of her friends.
Meemaw: Really?
Mary: And not just any friends. Heather M. was there, and that is a big deal.
Meemaw: I just gave her a little life advice.
Mary: Like what?
Meemaw: Nothing, just grandma stuff.
Mary: There you go again, being the good guy.
Meemaw: Mary, you need to know you're doing a fantastic job with those kids.
Mary: You really mean that?
Meemaw: I really do.
Mary: Thanks. I can't remember the last time someone said I was a good mom.
Meemaw: It's not a job that gets a lot of compliments.

Meemaw: And as far as your mom, I think things started to turn around for her when she gave birth to you.
Missy: You mean me and Sheldon.
Meemaw: No, I mean you. I mean, Sheldon was born fine, but you were a different story.
Missy: Why?
Meemaw: Okay. Well, there was a point where the doctors didn't know if you were gonna make it. And your mom got so scared, and she made a promise to God that if you were okay, that she would start reading the Bible, going to church you know, that kind of stuff.
Missy: So I'm the reason she's a dud?

Missy: I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.
Mary: Oh, Missy, you are in a world of trouble.
Meemaw: Calm down, it's not that big a deal.
Mary: It is so a big deal! She stole from you, and then she lied about it.
Meemaw: I know, but come on, she's only ten. She's gonna do way stupider stuff when she's older.
Missy: Guaranteed.

Meemaw: So when, exactly, did you swipe my makeup?
Missy: While you were at bowling league.
Meemaw: You don't have a key to this house. How'd you get in?
Missy: Can't tell you that. I might need to do it again.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.

Adult Sheldon: A fossil is formed when an organism, preserved in sediment, undergoes physical compression over millions of years. Less than one ten-thousandth percent of living organisms will become fossils. Isn't it amazing that something so fragile can defy those odds, only to have this happen to it-
[Tam hits a fossil with a hammer and it breaks into pieces]
Sheldon: I don't think you did that right.

Sheldon: Who was that?
Georgie: No one.
Sheldon: Why did he push you?
Georgie: None of your business.
Sheldon: But that was a clear violation of the student code of conduct. We need to tell on him.
Georgie: We're not telling on anyone, stay out of it.
Sheldon: But the student code of conduct-
Georgie: Drop it.
Adult Sheldon: So I did drop it ... for six whole minutes.

Marcus: All right. Next. Missy Cooper.
Missy: Just a heads-up, this is my good side.
Marcus: Okay. Do your parents know you're wearing that makeup?
Missy: Oh, yeah, my mom knows.
Marcus: You sure? Because typically it's not allowed.
Missy: If you don't believe me, you can ask her.
Marcus: Okay, we're gonna give her a call.
Missy: Really?

Sheldon: And Tommy's actually nicer than you think.
Georgie: I told you to stay out of it.
Sheldon: True, but what you didn't tell me was that you were overly chummy with his girlfriend, which is why he wants to kick your bottom.

Mary: What were you even thinking?
Missy: I was thinking I look hot.
Mary: You know you're not allowed to wear makeup.
Missy: That's why I didn't tell you.
Mary: And who gave it to you? Heather B.? Heather M.?
Missy: Meemaw.
Mary: So your grandmother was okay with you looking like this in your school pictures?
Missy: If you don't believe me, ask her.
Mary: Oh, I'm going to.
Missy: Really?

Mary: She is my daughter and you will be punished.
Meemaw: Sorry, kid.
Missy: I wish I was your daughter.
Mary: Is that so? Well, guess what? You're sleeping here tonight because I don't feel like being around either one of you.
Missy: Great!
Meemaw: Yeah, great.

Sheldon: Georgie, be a lamb and get me a Yoo-hoo.
Georgie: Get your own.
Sheldon: Hmm. Are you sure you want to speak to me in that tone of voice?
Georgie: Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.
Sheldon: That's too bad. I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
Georgie: You think you're so tough now, I swear, one day I'm-
George: Hey. What's going on?
Georgie: Sheldon's being a jerk.
George: That true?
Sheldon: All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
Georgie: He's leaving out the part where he-
Sheldon: [CLEARS THROAT]
Georgie: Forget it.
George: Great. Done.
Sheldon: Georgie, at the risk of repeating myself... And one from the back, so it's cold.

Missy: How old was Mom when you let her wear makeup?
Meemaw: I don't know, I didn't really have rules like that.
Missy: See? How come you're so cool and she's such a dud?
Meemaw: Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
Missy: What would you call her?
Meemaw: Point is, she wasn't always like that.
Missy: What was she like?
Meemaw: When she was a teenager, she was just wild.
Missy: Really?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. She used to wait until I went to sleep and then she would sneak out and get into trouble with her friends.
Missy: My mom?
Meemaw: Your mom. And then she would climb up the tree on the side of the house and sneak back in.
Missy: Amazing.
Meemaw: Is that how you're getting in?
Missy: I will never tell you that.

George: Everything okay?
Mary: I'm getting tired of being the bad guy around here.
George: You're not the bad guy. Kids need boundaries.
Mary: That is easy for you to say. I am the only one doing it, and then everyone resents me for it.
George: Hey, you're not the only one. Just today, Georgie and Sheldon were fighting, and I totally took care of it.
Mary: Really? What was going on?
George: They... You know, boy stuff. Don't worry. I got your back.
Mary: Thank you. That means a lot.
George: Teamwork, babe.