Mr. Lundy: Attagirl! They've already seen the before. Let's show 'em the after. Here. Try this.
Mary: That's awfully red.
Mr. Lundy: Exactly. And when you see red, what comes to your mind?
Mary: Satan.
Mr. Lundy: Glamour. Sex appeal, a little va-va-voom!
Mary: I don't know.
Mr. Lundy: You are not just selling makeup. You are selling power, you are selling confidence, and that starts right here. Now are you a powerful, confident woman?
Mary: Yes.
Mr. Lundy: Slather this on. Let's try again.
[later:]
Mr. Lundy: Somebody call highway patrol. This billboard is causing accidents.
Mary: Really?
Mr. Lundy: You had the va, then you got another va, now you got the voom. Sell me some makeup.
Mary: Hello there.
Mr. Lundy: Now I'm listening.

Mary: What do you want?
Sheldon: Can I take a four-and-a-half-hour bus ride to Texarkana for a comic book convention?
Mary: By yourself? Absolutely not.
Sheldon: Can you come with me?
Mary: No.
Mr. Lundy: Son, your mother has makeup to sell.
Sheldon: If I get an adult to go with me, can I?
Mary: I don't know. Maybe. [Sheldon looks at Mr. Lundy]
Mr. Lundy: Ha, ha. No.
Sheldon: But people wear makeup to comic book conventions. You could sell it there.
Mr. Lundy: Ah, I see. No.
Sheldon: But...
Mr. Lundy: Read my moisturized lips. No.

Sheldon: Would you like to go with me to a comic book convention?
Georgie: Will there be girls there?
[Sheldon turns around and walks away without saying a word]

Sheldon: And the best news is it's only a four-and-a-half-hour bus ride away.
George: So you want me to ride on a bus for hours with a bunch of kids to a comic book convention?
Sheldon: It's mostly adults. Many are in costumes.
George: No.

Mary: Oh. You look fantastic. Ready to buy?
Peg: No, but I'm ready to hit the dog track.

Meemaw: [to Mary] Sorry. No. [to Sheldon] And what do you want?
Sheldon: For you to go on a bus with me to a comic book convention in Texarkana.
Meemaw: [laughing] God, no.

Mr. Lundy: You never forget your first sale.
Mary: I know. I am still tingling.
Mr. Lundy: I love that feeling. I don't even drink coffee anymore. I just go on tingle power. [both laughs]
Mary: And she didn't just get the starter kit. She got the mud mask, she got the exfoliator.
Mr. Lundy: I had a feeling about you, Mary. It's just a matter of time before you're behind the wheel of your own pink Cadillac, and take it from me, you will be stared at. I am.

Mary: So, where do I go from here? I've kind of talked to everybody I know.
Mr. Lundy: Mm. Well, new faces are the lifeblood of our business.
Mary: How do I find new faces?
Mr. Lundy: Don't you run a Bible study?
Mary: Uh, I don't know that I'd be comfortable trying to make sales in a religious setting.
Mr. Lundy: Mary, if God didn't want people to wear makeup, he'd have made 'em less ugly.
Mary: Well, that's one way to look at it.
Mr. Lundy: Mm-hmm. And you have a daughter, right?
Mary: Well, she's not even a teenager yet.
Mr. Lundy: This is when it starts. Would you rather her borrowing makeup from friends, passing it back and forth?
Mary: She has stolen it from my bag.
Mr. Lundy: See? Forget about a pink Caddy. Now we're talking pink eye. Which, if she does catch it, a little waterproof eyeliner, you'd never know.

Adult Sheldon: I was normally a rule follower, but one of the rules of spring break is to cut loose and break rules.
Sheldon: I'm heading out.
Mary: Where you going?
Sheldon: To see my comic book friends.
George: Hmm. I'm leaving in a few. You want a ride?
Sheldon: No, I'm taking my bike.
Adult Sheldon: All the way to the bus station. [Sheldon smirks]
George: Something funny?
Sheldon: Not funny. Just normal.
Adult Sheldon: Smooth.
Sheldon: Bye.
Adult Sheldon: So smooth.

Mary: So, today I thought maybe we'd mix things up a little bit, and do some reading from Esther.
Betty: I don't think I've ever read Esther.
Mary: Oh, you are in for a treat. There is some good stuff in here. Let us open our Bibles to, uh, chapter two, verse 12. "Before a young woman's turn came to go into King Xerxes, she had to complete 12 months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women: six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics." Did anyone else realize that cosmetics were right here in the Bible? I just find that fascinating.
Betty: Uh, well, t-this next verse talks about her being a concubine.
Mary: Hey, hey, don't skip ahead. We're still talking cosmetics. Did you know that Esther used her beauty to stop a genocide?
Ann: Really?
Mary: Sometimes, I think we forget how powerful beauty can be. But I know I sure feel powerful when I'm wearing this new line of Mary Kay cosmetics. Take a gander, ladies.

Nathan: So how do you know Dr. Smith over there?
Sheldon: That's not Dr. Smith, that's Mr. Givens. He was my high school science teacher.
Nathan: Oh. Well, he's dressed as Dr. Smith from Lost in Space.
Sheldon: Oh, I've never seen it.
Nathan: Yeah, well, you're not missing much. It was a lame kids' show.
Mr. Givens: I'm sorry, "lame kids' show"? For your information, Star Trek wouldn't exist without Lost in Space. [all oohing]
Nathan: Yeah, well, at least Star Trek didn't have to steal its robot from Forbidden Planet. [all oohing]
Sheldon: I take it from their reaction that was a good dig?
Nathan: Solid.
Sheldon: Nice job.

Mary: Esther would be so proud. This is a face that would stop the spilling of blood.
Ann: You think?
Mary: I do. Now, if you order the starter package today, I will throw in the spring palette.
Ann: Sold.
Mary: Oh, praise the Lord. Now who's next?

Adult Sheldon: While researching how to spend my first collegiate spring break, my sister led me to a documentary on the subject.
Sheldon: Are they screaming for help?
Missy: No. They're having fun.
Sheldon: Are we watching the same show?
Missy: They were stuck in school all year. Now they're going wild.
Sheldon: Clearly. I don't see a single lifeguard.
Missy: You don't have to go to the beach. Just do something besides school.
Sheldon: There is science that suggests taking breaks refreshes the mind and boosts brain function.
Missy: Good. Because the minute I'm old enough, that's gonna be me out there.
Sheldon: You better learn to swim, because no one there's gonna help you.

Mary: Guess who I ran into at the grocery store. Mr. Lundy.
Missy: Ugh, the weird theater guy?
Mary: He's not weird.
Sheldon: He's also a teacher, realtor, choreographer, ooh, and local celebrity.
Mary: He's actually not doing that stuff now. He is selling makeup. He's even got one of those pink Cadillacs.
George: Driving a pink car in Texas. Bold choice.

Missy: I believe in you, Mom.
Mary: Thank you, honey. But you're not getting free makeup.
Missy: [sighs] Dang it.