Sheldon: Mom, can you take me to Radio Shack?
Mary: Not today, baby. I have to go food shopping and get dinner started.
Sheldon: But it's important.
Mary: Sorry. Maybe over the weekend.
Sheldon: But it won't take that long.
Mary: Sheldon, I said no.
Sheldon: But, Mom-
Mary: Not another word.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

George Sr.: Damn it. I've had enough of this. Sheldon, get up.
Sheldon: What's the point?
George Sr.: We're going to Houston.
Sheldon: Really?
George Sr.: Yeah. You and me are gonna give those space monkeys a little talkin' to.
Adult Sheldon: I often found my father to be a strange and puzzling man, but at that moment, I never loved him more.

Adult Sheldon: People often wonder why I chose to pursue a career in theoretical physics. I usually respond by saying I wanted to unravel the inner workings of the universe. But the real answer was I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong.

George Jr.: Are you dyin'?
Meemaw: We're all dyin', honey. From the second we're born, it's just a slip and slide into the darkness.
George Jr.: Unless you get bit by a vampire.
Meemaw: Well, now that goes without saying.