Sheldon: Mom, can you take me to Radio Shack?
Mary: Not today, baby. I have to go food shopping and get dinner started.
Sheldon: But it's important.
Mary: Sorry. Maybe over the weekend.
Sheldon: But it won't take that long.
Mary: Sheldon, I said no.
Sheldon: But, Mom-
Mary: Not another word.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Pastor Jeff: And now George's loving wife Mary would like to say a few words. Mary.
Mary: Thank you, Pastor Jeff. Um... [clears throat] I met George in high school. Well, I was in high school. He was an older man with a motorcycle. [light laughter] I'd like to tell you he caught my eye, but actually it was the motorcycle. [laughter] [voice breaking] I'm sorry, I can't... do this. I am... so angry. [sighs] George and I had our ups and downs, but we were finally in such a good place, and then he... left. [crying] He left all of us. I- How could you do that? [Meemaw stands up] I am so mad at him. I'm mad at God, I'm mad at myself for not trying harder while he was here. [Meemaw goes up to Mary] This wasn't supposed to happen. [Mary sobs] [Meemaw hugs Mary] [Georgie hugs a crying Missy]

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Meemaw: So I saw a lawyer today.
Mary: Why?
Meemaw: I'm putting together my last will and testament.
George: We're gonna miss ya.
Mary: George.
Meemaw: Don't worry. I ain't leaving him squat.

Mary: Sheldon, who are you talking to?
Sheldon: Dorothy Fitzpatrick.
Mary: Who's Dorothy Fitzpatrick? Is she a new buddy from school?
Sheldon: She's the loan officer at The First National Bank of Medford.
Mary: Why are you talking to her?
Sheldon: Mom, can this wait? I'm trying to negotiate favorable terms. Hello, Dorothy? [Mary hangs up]

Adult Sheldon: People often wonder why I chose to pursue a career in theoretical physics. I usually respond by saying I wanted to unravel the inner workings of the universe. But the real answer was I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong.