Missy: "Dear Sheldon and Missy, thank you for coming to my party. I liked playing with Mr. Spock and watching Missy throw up Kool-Aid in the bushes." Still tasted like cherry. "My mother also threw up, but that was because of wine. My dad says she drinks because"-
Mary: Okay, that's nice.
Missy: But there's more.
Mary: No, there's not.
Sheldon: Guess we'll never know why she drinks.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Brenda Sparks: What are you doing out here?
Billy Sparks: Playing with Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: You're missing your party.
Billy Sparks: But I'm having fun.
Sheldon: Do not be alarmed, our mission is one of peace.
Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely; my mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mom is on Valium.

Congregation: [singing] Heart of my Own heart
Billy Sparks: [singing] Old MacDonald Had a farm
Congregation: Still be my Vision O Ruler of all
Billy Sparks: E-I-E-I-O.

Mary: I've got something here for both of you. It's from Billy.
Sheldon: I hope it's not another invitation.
Mary: It's probably a thank you note.
Sheldon: So now I have to write a you're welcome note? You people are killing me.