Mary: That was so nice.
George: Yeah, what a sweet deal. You have a little fun, then hand her right back.
Mary: I don't know, I like having a baby in the house.
George: [chuckles] Yeah, well... You know, Russ at work, he-he's starting all over with wife number two. You should see him. Looks like a walking corpse.
Mary: That doesn't sound so bad.
George: Are you serious?
Mary: [sighs] Well, Georgie and CeeCee live across town, Sheldon's about to move to California. The house is gonna feel empty.
George: Whoa, whoa, it ain't empty yet, you still got Missy here.
Mary: Missy doesn't let me hug her anymore.
George: That is not true. Missy, get out here and hug your mother!
Missy: [o.s.] No! [George sighs]

Principal Petersen: If you don't want another one, do what I did.
George: I'm not getting a divorce.
Principal Petersen: No, I mean, get a little snip. Never worry about it again.
George: Well, you mean like a... like a down-there snip?
Principal Petersen: I can't believe I let you teach Health.
George: Well, Mary'd never go for that.
Coach Wilkins: I didn't know you got snipped.
Principal Petersen: That's 'cause my balls are none of your business.
Coach Wilkins: Fair point.

Meemaw: [answers phone] Hello?
Sheldon: Hello, Meemaw.
Meemaw: Well, isn't this a nice surprise?
Sheldon: You're old. Can you still learn new things? [Meemaw hangs up]
Meemaw: [answers phone] Want to try that again?
Sheldon: I need your help.
Meemaw: I'm listening.
Sheldon: I'm trying to teach Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis string theory, and they're struggling. I'm worried that their advanced age is a factor. And since you're also...
Meemaw: Careful.
Sheldon: ... in the winter of your life... [call disconnects]
Meemaw: [answers phone] You were saying?
Sheldon: And since you're also a wise and mature woman...
Meemaw: Go on.
Sheldon: ...you might have some tips on how best to educate others in your peer group.

Meemaw: [on the phone] So you want me to help you teach an old dog new tricks?
Sheldon: I feel like if I said that you would have hung up.
Meemaw: Look, it can't be easy for them to be taught by somebody your age. I think you're just gonna have to be a little understanding and patient.
Sheldon: Patient? They could drop dead at any mome... [Meemaw hangs up]
Meemaw: [answers phone] What?
Sheldon: Despite this challenging exchange, you know I love you.
Meemaw: Yeah, yeah.

Coach Wilkins: I can't believe you did it without telling your wife.
George: I didn't call you for a lecture, Wayne. I called you for a ride.
Coach Wilkins: Which you needed 'cause you had a vasectomy without telling Mary.
George: I only went down there to ask some questions, and they had an opening.
Coach Wilkins: So you said, "Get in there, start snipping!"
George: I panicked! Mary was looking at baby pictures.
Coach Wilkins: Oh. Clearly, you had no choice.
George: I'm in a lot of pain here, Wayne. You're not helping.
Coach Wilkins: What do you think she's gonna say when she finds out?
George: She's not gonna find out.
Coach Wilkins: You can barely walk. You think she's not gonna notice?
George: You have any idea how much sitting I do at home?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, I can imagine. I do work with you.
George: [sighs] Hey, watch out for that... pothole.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, I saw it.

Adult Sheldon: My meemaw made me realize that Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis' failure to learn string theory was my failure as a teacher. Perhaps the knuckles that really needed to be rapped were my own.
Sheldon: Ow! Lesson learned. [knock at door]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, we'd like you to teach us again.
Meemaw: [v.o.] Understanding and patience.
♪ Everybody hurts... ♪
Sheldon: All right, dummkopfs, let's do this.
♪ Sometimes ♪

Mary: Is it your...
George: Groin, yeah.
Mary: Let me run you a warm bath. I bet that'll help.
George: Oh, I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a while... and not take a shower for two to three days.
Mary: I'll get you some BENGAY.
George: No, no! No.
Mary: Heating pad?
George: I'm good. Got my peas. Just need to sit. [airy, prolonged groaning...]
Mary: You sure you're okay?
George: Oh, yeah, right as rain. [groans]

Dr. Linkletter: Clearly, we're not too old to learn things.
Dr. John Sturgis: And there's no shame in needing a little help.
Dr. Linkletter: Yeah!
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah!
Dr. Linkletter: But does it have to be Sheldon?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

Dr. John Sturgis: So wait a minute. Are you saying that the particle should be understood as a sequence of functions executed in a manifold?
Dr. Linkletter: He said it, not me.
Sheldon: Actually, that's correct.
Dr. Linkletter: We were both thinking it. That's what's important.
Sheldon: So that would mean...
Dr. Linkletter: Gravity is just the residue of forces within manifolds?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Dr. Linkletter: Telling?
Sheldon: You're right.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh. [John and Linkletter high-five]

President Hagemeyer: So, this is the new physics curriculum I've developed for next year.
Dr. John Sturgis: Introduction to nonlinear sigma models? That's some pretty advanced stuff.
President Hagemeyer: And that's the point. Sheldon may be leaving, but we can attract the next brilliant mind if we stay on the cutting edge.
Dr. Linkletter: Couldn't agree more. In fact, John, why don't you take point on that nonlinear class and I'll teach, uh... Oh, so much here I've heard of. Which one do I pick?
President Hagemeyer: All right, if this material is too challenging for you, maybe I should rethink my faculty.
Dr. John Sturgis: What are you saying?
President Hagemeyer: Well, legally I can't say that I'm replacing you with someone younger, so I'm not saying that. Legally.
Dr. Linkletter: Nice try, but I have tenure.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't.
Dr. Linkletter: Tough luck.
President Hagemeyer: Another thing I'm not saying is that I'm going to put your office at the top of a flight of very steep stairs.

Mandy: Hi.
Mary: Oh, come to Nana.
Mandy: There you go.
Mary: Oh, you got so big.
Georgie: I said that to her when she was pregnant. No bueno.

Dr. John Sturgis: Grant. I finished reading Ed Witten's article on the Landau-Ginzburg orbifold.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm almost done with one on Planckian scattering.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know why we were so reluctant to dive into these new theories.
Dr. Linkletter: Agreed.
Dr. John Sturgis: Exciting stuff.
Dr. Linkletter: Thrilling.
Dr. John Sturgis: So thrilling.
Dr. Linkletter: A little hard to parse.
Dr. John Sturgis: A bit enigmatic.
Dr. Linkletter: I had to read the same paragraph four times.
Dr. John Sturgis: I fell asleep on one paper, drooled all over it.
Dr. Linkletter: Huh.

Dr. John Sturgis: Okay, how about this? We take one of these papers, buckle down and figure it out together.
Dr. Linkletter: Teamwork, I like it. [John chuckles]
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh.
Dr. Linkletter: Actually, could you move it a bit closer? That's a little fuzzy.
Dr. John Sturgis: Uh... Now it's fuzzy for me.
Dr. Linkletter: Put on your cheaters.
Dr. John Sturgis: I forgot them on the bus.
Dr. Linkletter: I have an extra pair, would you like them?
Dr. John Sturgis: That would be lovely.
Dr. Linkletter: Teamwork. [both chuckle]

Mary: I asked you to get her bottle, not yours.
George: Two birds, Mare.
Mary: [sighs] Get down here and feed her with me.
George: Why?
Mary: 'Cause that's how you bond.
George: [sighs] All right. You're gonna have to get me back up. [groans] Cheers.

Missy: [enters] I'm home! Oh, no, did Dad fall?
George: No, I'm bonding with the baby.
Mary: Isn't she the cutest?
George: Hmm.
Missy: Want to know what else is cute? Another piercing right up here.
George: No.
Missy: Why? Heather just got one.
Mary: I thought you and Heather were fighting.
Missy: Yeah, middle school's complicated.
George: You're not getting another piercing.
Missy: It's my ear.
Mary: We made that ear. It's our ear.
Missy: I hate this house. [exits]
George: I miss when she couldn't talk. [Mary sighs]